Bouncers/ bar security let's hear those funny stories

Wait till y'all finally meet me in person I've been stabbed ,sliced ,and stabbed in the hip with a bic pen! But back to funny stories so I used to be in much better shape and drink protein shakes and eat well but it have me has that could be weaponized! Well I and other staff word play crop duster or secret bomber. We would either walk by a table or group of people and let it rip and then watch everyone flip out and watch them blame each other or I would wait till I saw a guy go and hit on a girl let them talk for a bit then like a ninja sneak up and drop the bomb and disappear so I could watch. It always started with the chick taking a step back from the guy and rubbing her nose with her index finger and then the excuse to leave ( oh I need to find my friends Ect) so much fun!
 
Wow!

I've had a couple of my friends work the same bar ( her coat check, him music/ entertainment). I hung out there for about a year, having fun but helping out the bouncers. The head bouncer appreciated me enough to reserve a parking spot for my motorcycle directly next to the bar sign, no small feat on Crescent street, downtown Montreal.

Gotta tell you that I saw my share of scuffles and punches.... But nothing like some of the stories here!!! That was back in the mid 80's though. Seems like things are worst?
 
I was a bouncer for ten years before I left the bar scene and never want to got back. Anyways I had a really drunk patron in the bar that was being confrontational so I escorted him outside. It was winter time and there was snow on the ground. He kept trying to come back in getting physical and making threats. Eventually I lost my patience and grabbed the guy and threw him down into a snow bank. I pushed his face into the snow a couple of times and told him to chill out. He got the message and got up and walked away all covered in snow. It was funny.
 
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