I've been ignoring those labels for years.
I remember seeing my first one.
I stood there with the box in my hand, contemplating the label, and then reviewed what I knew about the product inside the box. Well, I concluded, I guess it could be said that if you ground up what's in the box into a talc-grade powder and make someone inhale it for a few months, you could induce cancer.
Your counter top at home contains "chemicals known to cause cancer."
As does most of your cabinetry. And the packaging for some -- if not most -- of your food.
But wait! There's more!
Your bookcases, if they're made like mine, contain glues and cements which, if you manage to ingest enough of them, can cause cancer. Careful, though, because if you're gonna eat enough of the bookcase to poison yourself with the glue, you're gonna run into problems with the wood splinters way before that happens.
Of course, in the usual fashion of "education through obfuscation" the bureaucrats have managed to create anxiety and mystery without actually informing you of anything.
Basically: PANIC NOW! (This has been a test of the national panic network. If it had been a real panic, you would have received instructions.)
Nah.
Don't panic. Just remember where your towel is, and don't be hitchhiking with any Vogons.
