Claude Dallas is Free

munk said:
Let me repeat an old saw about the Mormons. I don't know if it's true, but the worst people I met in Idaho were mormons, and the best.
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After a tough divorce I was "love bombed" by the local Morman Church. At first I was amazed by the quality of these people.

I must say that they have the most powerful financial and family values I have ever known. For instance the children are unreal well-behaved. They regulalry sit for three hour 'sermons' on hard pews without complaint.

So I joined. Baptized by total immersion. I rose rapidly through the ranks and was ordained a Malchizadek priest. Then the reality began to set in.

The Mormon "Words of Wisdom" include no "extramarital sex, no tobacco, no caffeine, no alcohol." The Bishop became what I thought was a close friend until I causally mentioned I was having fine with three of the "Words" but was still working on one of them. He exploded. From one minute he changed from close friend to the worst and most unforgiving person I have ever met. Nearly violent.

So I never discussed the "Words" again and all was well.

Then they gave me a group of single women to teach. (No, none of that. I was dating a woman outside the Church). These young single women had mostly graduated college and were deluged by credit card companies. So they bought and bought.

Now they were hounded by collection agencies. I dearly love teaching people about finance, so I helped them by each making out a budget, getting rid of their cards and getting a low interest bank loan to pay off their debts.

I got a call from the Bishop. He was back in his explosive blasting mode. "BROTHER MARSH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THESE WOMEN?" I was blown away. Had not even the slightest hint of sexual impropriety.

The problem was that I was teaching the young women independance. The Church wanted them financially stupid so they would be forced, by financial poverty, to marry a good Morman man who would take care of their problems.

My job, according to the Church, was to tell them to pray and find a husband.

Their theology is nuts. You would not believe! Too much to go into here. All the earmarks of a cult.

Good, honest business is done within the Church. You never cheat another Mormon. However the non-Mormons, who are called "gentiles" are fair game.

The rules of behavior and honesty do not apply. What does it matter? Everyone who is not a Mormon is going to Hell.

Lastly a good non-Mormon friend paid $20,000 to become a seminar leader teaching the "Seven Habits." He was given the Atlanta area as an exclusive. Within a few months, for absolutely no reason, his franchise was revoked and given to a Mormon. When he questioned the revocation he was told, "We are keeping this within the Church."

Know why you always see the Mormon "Elder" in pairs? They are watching each other for transgressions.

I left the Mormon Church. For months they came to my house trying to get me back. Finally I just began answering the door completely naked and after a while they got the message.

Guess I won't get my own planet when I pass on.
 
Munk,

That sounds like they did your wife totally wrong. A lot of people think state employees have it knocked, but just like you say the deck is stacked against us in a lot of ways. Here it is very much like you describe Idaho as being. Not the Mormons but the politics. Neighboring states here are way better off cause their public employees have collective bargaining and it is harder to fire them off the cuff. But here we don't.
 
I don't know about nuts. Like I have said many times, the best person I ever knew was a Mormon. I like Mormons. I don't kid myself I'm a member of their inner circle. There is a wall there- a barrior.

My friend was the most forgiving person I knew.

When the Mormons came to San Bernardino they drained the swamp, and built their mission. (there was already a spanish mission there, of course)

When Brigham called them back, they left San Bernardino behind. A legacy of their efforts, though, are that downtown SB has a high water table- eight feet below the surface. If the Eight plus quake ever comes, it will liquefy the city.

They really should have built on higher ground.









munk
 
I only have one real experience with the Mormon church. I was young and living in Mesa, Arizona. I was celibate a long time, believing in (believe it or not) only being with someone that I cared about and respected.. I know, it's out of date way of doing things, but.. I met a young lady, and we got along so well. She was really pretty, we had great conversation, she had values, and a good kisser. We were on our way to having a great relationship and then shortly after I met her parents, I had come to the door to pick her up for a date when she told me that she couldn't go out with me anymore..
Why? I wasn't a mormon. She said sorry, but that's how it is here.

I said it sounds more like a cult than a religion to me.. Oh well.
I did manage to finally get married to a little Caribbean Indian gal and have some little NDN children of my own. ;)
 
Not that I'm calling anyone here dumb, normally you all call me that. Anyway I didn't know what in the name of peanut butter Mr Marsh was talking about this Melchizedek Priesthood. So after I composed an email to him, I decided to google it, and found this.

Melchizedek Priesthood

Anyway just thought someone else out there might be wandering if Melchizedek was some TV show Martian or something.

A couple of years ago they (The LDS church) built a nice looking cathedral not too far from my house, my only contact with the Mormon church, other than tormenting college friends with them, was to call and ask about the possibility of a tour. I got hung up on.

Oh well.
 
What really works well is when you call up and ask about the sacred tablets the Book of Mormon is written on. Tell them you understand there's a controversy about whether or not these tablets even exist and you'd be willing to examine them to clear this up.



munk
 
munk said:
What really works well is when you call up and ask about the sacred tablets the Book of Mormon is written on. Tell them you understand there's a controversy about whether or not these tablets even exist and you'd be willing to examine them to clear this up.



munk
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They hung up on me again.

(joke)
 
All this sounds wild. I don't know any Mormon folks. I do know they were upset about that stuff about the DNA testing kind of disproving some of their core beliefs.

"A number of investigators have used genetic and blood testing studies to show that Native Americans are related closely to the inhabitants of Siberia . However, Thomas W. Murphy, 35, chairperson of the anthropology department at Edmonds Community College in Lynnwood, WA went further. He was raised as a Mormon in southern Idaho, and has said that he is "not an active member of the local congregation, but I'm very active in the Mormon intellectual community." 2 He decided to examine whether DNA analysis would confirm that many, perhaps most, Native Americans are descended from ancient Israelites. According to the LA Times, "He analyzed data collected by a multimillion-dollar 'molecular genealogy' project at Brigham Young [University] as well as other, similar projects that track ancestry from people worldwide via DNA in blood samples." Murphy concluded that over the last few thousand years, modern-day Jews and modern-day Native Americans do not share common ancestors. If they did, then genetic markers would be found in Natives identical to those in the descendents of ancient Hebrews. He concluded that: "the Book of Mormon is a piece of 19th century fiction. And that means that we have to acknowledge sometimes Joseph Smith lied." However, he believes that "the book might be fiction, but inspired as well."
 
But the DNA testing showed that the so called "black hebrews of Africa" had some truth to their legend

"The Lemba, a Bantu-speaking people of southern Africa, have a tradition that they were led out of Judea by a man named Buba. They practice circumcision, keep one day a week holy and avoid eating pork or pig-like animals, such as the hippopotamus.

Several groups around the world practice Judaic rites or claim to be descended from biblical tribes without having any ancestral Jewish connection.

But the remarkable thing about the Lemba tradition is that it may be exactly right. A team of geneticists has found that many chromosome a set of DNA sequences that is distinctive of the cohanim, the Jewish priests believed to be the descendants of Aaron. The genetic signature of priests - a hereditary caste, with certain ritual roles - is particularly common among Lemba men who belong to the senior of their 12 groups, known as the Buba clan.

The discovery of the Lemba's Jewish ancestry has come about through the intertwining of two unusual strands of inquiry. One was developed by geneticists in the United States, Israel and England who wondered what truth there might be to the Jewish tradition that priests are the descendants of Aaron, the elder brother of Moses.
 
How about some tolerance for different views? I have a colleague at work who is Mormon. He is a nice guy, works hard to support his family, and he has a very large family!
He treats others with respect, dignity and concern for their welfare, so far as I can tell.
Individuals differ, and you can find extreme points of view in almost any perspective.
One of the things that I have always liked about this forum is that it welcomed differences between people, and there sure are lots of them here.
 
arty said:
How about some tolerance for different views? I have a colleague at work who is Mormon. He is a nice guy, works hard to support his family, and he has a very large family!
He treats others with respect, dignity and concern for their welfare, so far as I can tell.
Individuals differ, and you can find extreme points of view in almost any perspective.
One of the things that I have always liked about this forum is that it welcomed differences between people, and there sure are lots of them here.
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True. I know one lady originally from PA and she talks about the Amish like you guys say the Mormons are.

I know some folks from OH who have nothing but nice stuff to say about the Amish.
 
I appologize to any Mormon folks out there as I respect all religions that at least try to promote peace and good will, but man, did i ever screw with the Mormons that came knocking at my door. I feel so bad about it in retrospect as all these guys were doing is what they are suppose to do. When I was in college I would get visited by different Elders no less than once a week. They would ALWAYS come right around the time I fell asleep for my mid day nap between school and work. Nice guys. They even offered to help me move out of my apartment when i left town.
However, my better half and I had to have our fun with these guys. One time when they asked me my faith I told them that I came from a long line of Jews (this always got weird looks as it's pretty evident that I come from good German/Irish stock with more than a subtle hint of Cherokee cheekbones and complection;)) I applogize to our Jewish friends as well as I made up all kinds of absolute craziness about the religion. I would act so into my religion as I held my arms in the air and told the tale of Moses leading his people across the parted the Dead Sea (more dramatic than the Red Sea) and shouting "Chuhkbal" (a word I made up obviously) which was Hebrew for "Drown you of false faith" as the Romans (cooler that Egyptians IMHO) were sucked out to sea where God sent sharks and octopi and whales to devour them....They were very polite, but confused. They had to think I was nuts.

One time I let them do the talking. I only asked them if they wanted some tomato soup...which was just ordinary tap i severed them out of butter dishes with no spoons. They were very polite and ate their soup.

One time they came in and started talking. i acted perfectly normal and listened very intently...while my gf spent the whole conversation trying to feed cheese crackers to this little ugly monkey shaped candy dish on our coffeetable. She just said that it time for it's communion and that crackers were "Jez-its"... They were very polite, but confused. I almost lost it on that one. She then took the monkey dish in the other room for it's nap...where she could quietly bust out laughing.

Once again, i'm very sorry to any Mormon of Jewish friends here, but I don't think I've ever been so hillariously cruel to someone. I completely wasted their time. This is how you entertain yourself in college when you have no TV and not enough money for beer. I wish I was still that insane guy sometimes.

Jake
 
I wasn't aware any of my comments, in toto, were bigoted. I don't trust any special interest group. Why should we?

I had two friends living near our rental in Idaho Falls. They'd been married since their early twenties, and were in their eighties. Orville worked his life as a fine wood worker. I have many of his homemade puzzles. I used to shovel the sidewalk in front of their home of snow.

His dear wife died right before Christmas. He is very alone. He talks to her picture as he walks through his house. I almost wrote this as a seperate thread dealing with devotion.

Of course, He is a mormon. All my friends in Idaho Falls are mormons- except for one having dropped the faith. He's still mad at God for taking our mutual friend- my late best friend.
Personally, I've felt the touch of God upon the Mormon community. I do not share my wife's belief system that because they added an extra book they are all damned. I don't think God sweats extra books.

Orville is really something. He has a prize western exploration book collection. His wood working machines will be sold for pennies on the dollar, I'm sure, when he passes, as his only child has no interest.



munk
 
45-70 said:
Not that I'm calling anyone here dumb, normally you all call me that. Anyway I didn't know what in the name of peanut butter Mr Marsh was talking about this Melchizedek Priesthood. So after I composed an email to him, I decided to google it, and found this.

Melchizedek Priesthood

Anyway just thought someone else out there might be wandering if Melchizedek was some TV show Martian or something.

A couple of years ago they (The LDS church) built a nice looking cathedral not too far from my house, my only contact with the Mormon church, other than tormenting college friends with them, was to call and ask about the possibility of a tour. I got hung up on.

Oh well.
Click to expand...

Visiting a Mormon temple (this is abve the regular church which is open to everyone) is a privilege and not easy for even your average Mormon. A "gentile" would get hung up on.

My fun would be to ask Joseph Smith's middle name. Most don't know.
 
hollowdweller said:
But the DNA testing showed that the so called "black hebrews of Africa" had some truth to their legend

"The Lemba, a Bantu-speaking people of southern Africa, have a tradition that they were led out of Judea by a man named Buba. They practice circumcision, keep one day a week holy and avoid eating pork or pig-like animals, such as the hippopotamus.

Several groups around the world practice Judaic rites or claim to be descended from biblical tribes without having any ancestral Jewish connection.

But the remarkable thing about the Lemba tradition is that it may be exactly right. A team of geneticists has found that many chromosome a set of DNA sequences that is distinctive of the cohanim, the Jewish priests believed to be the descendants of Aaron. The genetic signature of priests - a hereditary caste, with certain ritual roles - is particularly common among Lemba men who belong to the senior of their 12 groups, known as the Buba clan.

The discovery of the Lemba's Jewish ancestry has come about through the intertwining of two unusual strands of inquiry. One was developed by geneticists in the United States, Israel and England who wondered what truth there might be to the Jewish tradition that priests are the descendants of Aaron, the elder brother of Moses.
Click to expand...

I had a vacancy in a small shopping centers. The vacant unit was next to a unit I had rented to a pentacostal church. Explosive ceremonies. Really loud and spirit filled. However the problem was that no other church wanted to be next to them because they were so loud.

I was approached by a young black man who said that he wanted to rent the unit for a church. I explained the noise problem and he said, "No problem, we meet on Saturday." I began questioning them about their religion. It quickly came out that they were a form of black Hebrew.

"The House of Yisrael" only had about 25 members and every single person had legally changed their last name to Yisrael!

Even more interesting they all could speak Hebrew. I am not good at Hebrew, but I understand it. And they followed the way of the Shema. Down to not wanting to name days of the week. Instead of Sunday, Monday, Tuesday (All formed from pagan god names) they would say, "Day 1 on the third hour."

Since orthodox hebrews have questions about when, exactly, each month begins, I had to tell them that I, the landlord respected their beliefs, but if the rent was not received by the Christian, Gregorian first of each month, I would impose a ten percent late fee.
 
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