*Random Joke of the Day*
(originally posted on a Canadian site)
ANNOUNCEMENT
*The English are feeling* the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats
and have therefore* raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security* levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or
even "A Bit Cross."* The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz
in 1940 when* tea supplies nearly ran out.* Terrorists have been
re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the
British* issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when
threatened by the Spanish Armada.
*
The Scots have raised* their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get
the Bastards."* They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they
have been* used on the front line of the British army for the last 300
years.
*
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are
"Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire
that* destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the
country's military* capability.
*
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military* Posturing." Two more levels remain:* "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
*
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to
"Dress in* Uniform and Sing Marching Songs."* They also have two higher
levels:* "Invade a Neighbor" and* "Lose."
*
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat
they are worried* about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
*
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These* beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy
can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
*
Australia , meanwhile, has raised* its security level from "No worries" to
"She'll be alright, Mate."* Three more escalation levels remain:
"Crikey!", "I think* we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend," and "The
barbie is cancelled."
*
And finally Canada is at "That's not nice and please stop" threat level, and
has passed a bill in the House of Commons to never raise the level any
higher so not to offend the terrorists.
