Official Submission:
Being a close personal friend of his, this is what actually happened.
CLIFFNOTES VERSION for lazy readers
:
Nadz was fed up with riding his bike up the hill to campus. He built his very own rocket bike out of model rocket engines. The bike did not explode, no, the bike worked too well and poor nadz ran into the back of a stopped semi and did not survive the impact.
.
.
.
.
The extended version for telling at the gathering:
Being a poor student (like all students), he used a bike to commute to campus to save on gas money.
On the way to campus, was a very large hill that caused him personal pain every day (won't go into that now, he said it was very personal and not to reveal it). Over the course of the few years that he has been at school, he had tried to come up with different ways to get around the hill, or over the hill. He tried grabbing onto passing cars to have them tow him up the hill. This ended poorly, not only did it turn out to be illegal (who knew!), but he also discovered that people would often react to his unexpected appearance on their vehicles rather violently (note, he technically learned this shortly before the previous point). He also tried taking the bus (too slow and full of smell people for his tastes), walking (he never made it to campus, by the time he had made it half way there, classes were already over and everyone was returning home for the day), as well as rollerskating (laughed at and humiliated by his peers). After that experience, he didn't even want to try a razor scooter, which is understandable, since he was over the age of 11.
Then one day after spending some time with his other favorite pastime (first being Becker knives, the second and "other" being model rocketry), he had an ingenious idea. Since he had won a lifetime supply of model rocket engines at spacecamp (at age 11 his favorite pastime was knitting models of solar systems from a single uninterrupted ball of yarn), he might as well put it to good use. He was going to mount some model rocket engines to his bike, to help propel him up that dang hill. Using mainly cardboard duct tape, baling wire and zip ties he succeeded in mounting over three dozen Class D model rocket engines to his bike. He mounted them around the circumference of this tires (assuming of course, that the long lever arm from the outside of the wheel to the hub would give him more torque than his Ford Probe for a short period of time), as well as constructing a nice grid of twelve located right below the seat. These were of course for top speed.
The next day, he excitedly hops on his bike (complete with safety helmet, and racquetball goggles to keep the bugs out of his eyes, and some arm floaties he stole from his nephews swimming lesson), and sets off to school. As he approaches the hill he remembers that luck favors those that act, so he decides (true to form) that he would activate all of his rocket engines at the same time, mostly because he loathed pedaling (and loves flames).
You can all see how this played out in the end. Because of his excellent engineer and construction of his rocket bike, everything worked out a bit too well. Instead of powering up the hill at a leisurely 40mph (just 5mph over the stated speed limit to avoid tickets), he quickly reached over 111mph. Luckily, he had his racquetball glasses on or he would have lost control when the large dragonfly smashed into his left eye (in the end though, this would not save him). No, as a testament to his bravery and cycling ability, he never did loose control. No, the problem lie elsewhere, he, in his sleep deprived state (status quo for college students) overlooked the fact that as the engines on his wheels rotated, the exhaust and flames would come too close to his brake pads.
In the end, it was his inability to stop, because his brake pads were completely melted and on fire that took his life. Friends of his will like to know though, that before he impacted against the rear of the semitruck stopped at the red light at the top of the hill, that bystanders said it was an amazing sight. Apparently he had ridden a wheelie the entire way up the hill, while screaming "FOR BARLOW". Bystanders were puzzled at the battlecry, but quickly forgot its significance by the time the emergency response teams had arrived.
In unrelated news, I have a slightly used bicycle helmet and a pair of racquetball goggles for sale.
Being a close personal friend of his, this is what actually happened.
CLIFFNOTES VERSION for lazy readers
:Nadz was fed up with riding his bike up the hill to campus. He built his very own rocket bike out of model rocket engines. The bike did not explode, no, the bike worked too well and poor nadz ran into the back of a stopped semi and did not survive the impact.
.
.
.
.
The extended version for telling at the gathering:
Being a poor student (like all students), he used a bike to commute to campus to save on gas money.
On the way to campus, was a very large hill that caused him personal pain every day (won't go into that now, he said it was very personal and not to reveal it). Over the course of the few years that he has been at school, he had tried to come up with different ways to get around the hill, or over the hill. He tried grabbing onto passing cars to have them tow him up the hill. This ended poorly, not only did it turn out to be illegal (who knew!), but he also discovered that people would often react to his unexpected appearance on their vehicles rather violently (note, he technically learned this shortly before the previous point). He also tried taking the bus (too slow and full of smell people for his tastes), walking (he never made it to campus, by the time he had made it half way there, classes were already over and everyone was returning home for the day), as well as rollerskating (laughed at and humiliated by his peers). After that experience, he didn't even want to try a razor scooter, which is understandable, since he was over the age of 11.
Then one day after spending some time with his other favorite pastime (first being Becker knives, the second and "other" being model rocketry), he had an ingenious idea. Since he had won a lifetime supply of model rocket engines at spacecamp (at age 11 his favorite pastime was knitting models of solar systems from a single uninterrupted ball of yarn), he might as well put it to good use. He was going to mount some model rocket engines to his bike, to help propel him up that dang hill. Using mainly cardboard duct tape, baling wire and zip ties he succeeded in mounting over three dozen Class D model rocket engines to his bike. He mounted them around the circumference of this tires (assuming of course, that the long lever arm from the outside of the wheel to the hub would give him more torque than his Ford Probe for a short period of time), as well as constructing a nice grid of twelve located right below the seat. These were of course for top speed.
The next day, he excitedly hops on his bike (complete with safety helmet, and racquetball goggles to keep the bugs out of his eyes, and some arm floaties he stole from his nephews swimming lesson), and sets off to school. As he approaches the hill he remembers that luck favors those that act, so he decides (true to form) that he would activate all of his rocket engines at the same time, mostly because he loathed pedaling (and loves flames).
You can all see how this played out in the end. Because of his excellent engineer and construction of his rocket bike, everything worked out a bit too well. Instead of powering up the hill at a leisurely 40mph (just 5mph over the stated speed limit to avoid tickets), he quickly reached over 111mph. Luckily, he had his racquetball glasses on or he would have lost control when the large dragonfly smashed into his left eye (in the end though, this would not save him). No, as a testament to his bravery and cycling ability, he never did loose control. No, the problem lie elsewhere, he, in his sleep deprived state (status quo for college students) overlooked the fact that as the engines on his wheels rotated, the exhaust and flames would come too close to his brake pads.
In the end, it was his inability to stop, because his brake pads were completely melted and on fire that took his life. Friends of his will like to know though, that before he impacted against the rear of the semitruck stopped at the red light at the top of the hill, that bystanders said it was an amazing sight. Apparently he had ridden a wheelie the entire way up the hill, while screaming "FOR BARLOW". Bystanders were puzzled at the battlecry, but quickly forgot its significance by the time the emergency response teams had arrived.
In unrelated news, I have a slightly used bicycle helmet and a pair of racquetball goggles for sale.
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of ghey pron and blue pill adds he quickly ran to his medicine cabinet downed the rest (17.5) blues, eager to return to his spank errrrr spam mail he slipped impaling himself on a rusty bk9, he drove HIMSELF to the hospital and did not die of the wounds or the tetnus, instead of hiv he contracted 3 yrs earlier......
) 
