Corny Wilderness Joke of the Day

[Brian Jones]

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but, here is one:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch...

"...It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

 

[cuphead]

HAHAHA good one!

 

[udtjim]

SO, The two tall ones were "barking" up the wrong tree.

 

[Brian Jones]

SO, The two tall ones were "barking" up the wrong tree.

 

[stingray4540]

LOL, that's a good one!

 

[mymindisamob]

ha-ha

 

[Fonly]

OHH Man! that is a good one. Please keep these things coming.

 

[Evolute]

Good stuff.

How can you tell a black bear from a grizzly?

When you climb a tree, a black bear climbs up after you, whereas a grizzly knocks the tree down.

 

[Ottoshot]

You lied.

Pecker is a dirty word.

 

[Brian Jones]

You lied.

Pecker is a dirty word.

Prude!

Merriam-Webster says:

pecker

Pronunciation: \ˈpe-kər\
Function: noun
Date: 1587

1: one that pecks
2: chiefly British : courage

 

[SpookyPistolero]

Ha! Good one

 

[longbow50]

Ha! Made my day Brian. Sending it to the wife at work. I'm sure she can use some cheering up.

 

[Aquacopter]

definetly made my day. Thanks for the joke.

 

[Brian Jones]

Glad you guys liked it. I thought it was a groaner, and those make me laugh!

 

[orrey45]

haha, good one

 

[Rat Finkenstein]

Glad you guys liked it. I thought it was a groaner, and those make me laugh!

A groaner is something that can be avoided if you get enough fiber in your diet.

 

[1_BIG_BUNKER]

Two scientists, one in California and one in New York, were conducting experiments on how fast native woodpeckers could peck through wood.

After several attempts they found that the birds were rather slow and made very little progress in the various types of wood.

They discussed their results with each other, and decided to trade birds and see if they both came up with the same results again.

When the birds were at their new locations they were able to pound right through every type of wood put in front of them in record time.

Both scientists were amazed at their new results with the birds.

They got together to discuss why the birds were able to pound right through any wood with no trouble at all.

After a long debate and looking over all their information, they concluded that the further away from home you are, the harder your pecker gets.

 

[udtjim]

Adam told God, All the other animals have a mate and I have none. God said, let me think about that a little. A few days later, God tells Adam, Hey I have it figured out. I have a mate for you that will fulfill your very wish, obey your every command and make your life a real pleasure. Adam says Man that sound great but whats it gonna cost me? God says well I guess an arm and a leg. Adam thinks a little and says, What can I get for just one RIB?

 

[siguy]

ha good jokes here guys...

best piece of ash...that's funny.

 

[Elen]

Adam told God, All the other animals have a mate and I have none. God said, let me think about that a little. A few days later, God tells Adam, Hey I have it figured out. I have a mate for you that will fulfill your very wish, obey your every command and make your life a real pleasure. Adam says Man that sound great but whats it gonna cost me? God says well I guess an arm and a leg. Adam thinks a little and says, What can I get for just one RIB?

I knew there was something fishy about the whole thing!