Originally posted by Kismet
is that it occurs at the point at which you can no longer walk when you have ALL the HI khukuris/swords/special products appended to your belt without losing your pants, or making indentations in the earth--or disrupting satellite transmission in your area.
I am convinced that the workaround for this is to hire a caddy. Preferably someone knowledgeable in the Way of the Khukhuri...
Picture if you will, a khaki-clad explorer trudging through dense, jungle undergrowth along a faint game trail. Immediately behind him comes another man, stooped and sweating under the burden of a large, tooled-leather satchel with the initials "H.I." worked ornately into its sides. The first gent stops abruptly, confronted with an uprooted tree that has fallen across his path. Hardwood and about 18" in diameter, the log is covered with moss and creeper vines...
Explorer: "Hmmm...looks like Ironwood, and those vines are no joke. Almost two feet through...the ground's a bit muddy, with a four-degree slope, and the wind's about two knots, north-northwest. I think the eighteen inch WWII would make short work of this obstacle. Or perhaps the Hanuman...What do you say, old bean?"
Caddy: "If I may, sir...The sun's been out all day, and it's nearly four in the afternoon, so the wood's bound to be tough. With the dry weather, the slope won't present a problem...If I may suggest the Chiruwa, sir?"
Explorer: "Well, the last time I swung the Chiruwa, I nearly severed my leg. Are you sure about the slope? D'you think the ground's dry enough to hold my footing?"
Caddy: "Oh, absolutely, sir! When you had your...incident, the soil was wet clay. That, combined with your...rather vigorous chopping style, is what caused the mishap. As you can surely see, this hard-packed loam will hold your footing nicely. Really, sir, the Chiruwa is the only right choice!"
Explorer: "Ah. Very well, then; hand me the blade, and let's get on with it, shall we?"
Grunting, the caddy swings the bulging satchel from his shoulder and rummages inside, producing loud clanking noises and the occasional glimpse of a horn, bone or wooden handle, brass pommels winking in the green jungle light. He pauses, lets out a satisfied grunt, and pulls the Chiruwa in its scabbard from the bag. Turning to the explorer, the caddy presents the sheathed knife, handle-first, in its scabbard in the same way a Maitre d' would offer a bottle of the finest Bordeaux to a wealthy patron. Smiling, our intrepid man of adventure draws the blade. A faint smell of coconut wafts on the breeze, produced by the surf wax used to protect the blade from rust. With a flourish, the explorer turns, inhales deeply, and with a satisfied "chaaahh..", takes his first swing at the trunk...
. Best to have a GRS or some other fat belly on on hand so you can explain it's pregnant.
I had to move my clothes to another closet to make room for Hog's....I mean ours
......
