Dumbest thing YOU'VE done with a knife?

While at Blade 2002 (my first!) I was looking at a little Kershaw that had assisted-opening or whatever their name for it is, and proceeded to slice my right thumb to the bone (or at least it felt that deep). Before I could get my handkerchief out, the vendor-guy behind the display had whipped out a band-aid to stem the healthy flow of life juice cascading from my appendage! Talk about embarrassment! The next year I felt a little irony in the fact that Rob Simonich cut himself with one of his own Bitterroots shortly after I had purchased one from him. Oh well!

Larry S.
 
NeedleRemorse said:
1)3) Freehand sharpened my Delica without taping the sides of the blade, got a few deep scratches.
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Same thing sharpening my Benchmade 705. I scratched the side of the blade that says 036/200. Oh well. I planned on it being a user anyway.
 
I'm used to carrying a Chinook II, which has a large index finger choil. I tend to close it with one hand by flipping the blade closed until the choil hits my index finger. Then I remove my finger and close the blade.

One day I was out taking bags of leaves that had been raked from my lawn out to the dumpster. I had my 6" Cold Steel Voyager XL with me, which I used to cut the bags open. When I was finished, I flipped that 6" blade closed right on my index finger, as I am accustomed to doing with the Chinook II. Too bad the Voyager doesn't have an index finger choil :eek: . Ouch!
 
Slashing at paper held in hand, slashed index finger, went to ER and got 3 stitches, learned lesson. Lesson learned: Always treat a knife as if it is loaded :)

Dean
 
1.) Victim: Buck Knife Ranger 112x
Place : Room - Hotel Congress Tucson Arizona
Dumb :
A table with a very thick Stoneplate, i was drunk and mad. Tried to hit the knive into the stoneplated table so it would stick there. It did it 2 times than the blade broke at the top of it while pulling it out after the 3rd time :barf:

I bought the knive during a holiday on a fleemarket in Collorado(1989). Its a very solid folder with great cutting-power and after i had to make it smaller i continued using it till i got a Spydie Endura.
I stopped drinking. I never was drunk after till today. Believe me or not i still think of how dumb that was monthly after all those years :eek:

2.) Victim : My girlfriend
Place : Glastonbury Festival (UK)
Dumb :
She wanted my festi-folderknive a very weird thing made out of a Bullhorn(?) with a very very long and sharp blade it s from a turkisch knifemaker i bought it in fleemarket in Berlin 17 Year ago and still use it to cut breadt (Plainedge).
I gave her the knive warning her because of the sharpness and instructed her to have always have clear space concerning the direction of the cut and much more because she wanted to work with a peace of wood.
3 Seconds later i was noticed that she wasn t knowing what i was talking of, by a red fountain of blood comming out of her Finger in which my weired folder stucked into very very deeply :grumpy:

(Edit: English is my second language ...)
 
CRH said:
Same thing sharpening my Benchmade 705. I scratched the side of the blade that says 036/200. Oh well. I planned on it being a user anyway.
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I'll bet you didn't scratch it as bad as I scratched #099/100. Mine is a forum knife.
:D :grumpy: :grumpy: It's a user now too. The guys that didn't scratch theirs are gonna have a nice collectors items, aren't they? ;)

Bruce
 
After I had been into knives pretty heavily for a couple years, I thought I could handle anything. At a knife show, I picked up a Cold Steel Triple Action folder. It was the double-edged one, and I tried closing the blade one-handed, as I was accustomed, but forgot the top edge of the blade. Very nice slice on the tip of my index finger. It's pretty embarrasing when you have to hide the cut, and can't handle knives at other tables until the bleeding finally stops.

DD
 
When I was 10 or 11 I had a huge, cheap bowie knife that the hardware store somehow let me buy. It cost $3.00. One day at my best friend's house - unsupervised as usual - we taped a grasshopper to his back fence and started throwing our knives at it. That was pretty stupid. Then, when I was trying to pull my knife free of the fence, I pushed my arm against it to give some added leverage and ripped this huge wart off my elbow. Also, one of the cheap wooden scales popped off the knife from all the throwing.

I got what I deserved, so I untaped the grasshopper and let it go.
 
Had two hamburger patties that were frozen together in one hand while trying to pry them apart by pushing a knife blade in between them. I'm sure you can guess what happened.

Tom
 
was at a clothing store and wanted to try on some pants. Had my assisted Kershaw clipped on the inside of my pants. Took a pair of pants in to the dressing room and took off mine. Started to put on the new pants and looked down and saw my leg bleeding. Must have opened when taking off mine. so now what am I to do? Can't put on the new pants and get them all bloody. end up getting a handerchief and wrapping my leg and not even trying the new ones on!
 
one time a while ago i bought one of those crappy otf' autos from a flea market and went to show my girlfriend and the thing at the end thats supposed to stop the blade broke as i opened it and the blade shot out and cut her leg, but not that badly. (the stupidest thing was actually buying it)
 
Both incidents related to edge orientation issues ...

#1 - Picked up a paring knife in the kitchen, tried to cut an apple - wouldn't cut. Braced my thumb against the spine of the blade for leverage. But it wasn't the spine. I had the blade the wrong way up. No stitches required, but there was blood to show for it. 3 weeks without your thumb is pretty disabling.

#2 - Used a slipjoint to whittle some wood. But I held the handle the wrong way and I tried to whittle with the spine of the blade, which promptly closed on my hand

Personally, this is my favourite -

Made a fresh blade, for ABS type destructive testing. Put the blade in a vice and started flexing by pulling on it. Got to about 90 degrees and of course the lead pipe slipped off it 'cos I was pulling AWAY from the blade. Went toppling across the workshop against the tree stump my anvil stands on, Anvil falls on me. Fortunately its only a 50lb anvil.

keep it safe. Jason.
 
I tried to cut a thin piece of hard plastic that kept catching and causing the gas cap cover on my car to jam. The only problem was i used the knife like a lever with blade out facing me. Luckily i had the finger of my opposite hand right in front of the edge. Needless to say when the plastic piece gave the blade dug into my finger down to the bone. Nothing like stitches to teach you to think before you act.
 
I once threw a pocketknife and speared my little brother in the web between the big toe and the next one. Suprisingly he said he felt very little pain and only started yelling when he realised the knife did not miss him. No knife use for months after Mom found out :)

Andrew Lim
 
Hmm... here's a couple.

I had just received a nice schrade walden uncle henry stockman off ebay. It was perfect, except one blade was a little bent. I figured I coulkd bend it back.....WRONG! snap.....

This one I did recently. I was stabilizing a schrade stockman. I had sharpened the blades all up to scalpel sharp, and then realized that I hadn't cleaned inside. So I grabbed a cull and a rag and started pushing it through to get the junk out, when....the cull slipped and the back of my thumb slid right up the clip blade, which of course was very sharp. Blood flew everywhere. I have a nice crescent scar below my nail now. And I leave the bloody rag out in my shop to remind me of what an idiot I am.

Dumbest thing I've ever done, though? When I was a teenager (many moons ago), my room was a mess. Mom made me clean it up, and of course I was ticked at having to clean my room. So I threw away all kinds of stuff, empty bags, old mags, etc. A few weeks later, I couldn't find a bag that I had put all my knives into. Must have tossed them. :o :mad: :grumpy:
From what I remember there were some beauties in there - grohmann belt knife, USAF pilots knife, western bowie, remington scout knife, etc. All the nice knives that I had bought or that were given to me. IDIOT...
 
I'd just bought this cool new electric sharpener that had plastic guides to use with the different tools (i.e., knives, chisels, drill bits, ...) you were sharpening. I had set it up for the first time, and my son asked me to sharpen his friend's brand new Swiss Army knife. "Sure" says I, took the knife, set it in the guide, and hit the switch. The wheel turned, grabbed the knife blade and jammed it between the guide and the wheel. When I managed to free it a second or two later, there was a big bite ground out of the bottom half of the blade.

$75 later, I gave him a new SAK.

Then of course there was the time I was slicing an onion in the kitchen, and after I'd sliced the first half (from the end up to the middle), just kept slicing down toward the other end (and my hand.)

Did you know that onions have layers, and that sometimes those layers slip?

I now turn the onion around once I reach the middle, and start working up from the other end.
 
Well... I have done NUMEROUS stupid things with a knife... too many to name... but the one that stands out in memory is this one, not just the "with the knife" part but the whole gawdanged experience...

My girl owns a pretty big piece of land where we go every fall and cut some firewood. I was out there a few years ago doing just that... two chainsaws, an axe, a maulaxe and my trusty Cold Steel ATC (this is like the LTC only a quarter inch thick... with a custom handle by Jay Maines... AWESOME CHOPPER). Anyway, I had cut down quite a few trees and had cut them all up and split the pieces and my girl had loaded them onto the truck...

She only wanted hardwood (oak, no hickory) and there was one more perfect sized oak left in the patch where we were so I decided I was going to get it and then go home. I lit into it with the chainsaw and I know any of you that have ever cut down trees know that every once in a while you find one that defies the laws of gravity and falls every which way EXCEPT the way you want it to... So... this one defies gravity and falls back UP the hill and right between two smaller trees that crossed and the tree that I cut down was cradled in the place where these two intersected. Well, I had put away a 6 pack by now ( I know, I know... please don't preach...)..

Anyway, I manned up and got beligerent and decided that this tree was not going to defeat me so I grabbed the ATC and headed up the tree, walking up the slanted thing like a ramp toward where it rested in the cradle of the other 2 trees. It was a small limb (maybe 5 incehs dia.) that was holding the tree and it rested on this limb. I decided that if I cut this limb the tree would fall to the ground.

I'll go ahead and say this... don't ask because I asked myself 100 times that evening what the hell I was thinking and I still haven't come up with a good answer 3 years later...

I started chopping the limb... it got closer and closer... now keep in mind I keep my knives razor sharp and this ATC was no exception. It got down to where it was evident that one more chop was gonna do the trick... I was up about 20 feet off the ground. I never stopped to think what I was going to do when this limb was severed and the tree fell...

Anyway, I chopped the last little bit holding the tree up (I've always been very athletic and adventurous, so this was run of the mill stuff....) and when it gave way I simply jumped off the tree I was standing on (that was now plummetting towards the ground) and wrapped koala bear style around one of the trees that was supporting it. As I did I held onto the ATC in my right hand and dragged my left hand down the blade as I secured my grip around the tree. I immediately felt my hand and arm get warm...

I yelled down to my girl that I had "f**ked up pretty badly" and then slipped the lanyard off my wrist and dropped the knife to the ground and then commenced to shimmy down the tree to the ground. Once there I looked at my hand. About a quarter of an inch of my left index finger was hanging by a thread. My arm was covered in blood. I walked back to the truck and she pulled out some bottled water to wash it off (she was a nurse so she has actually sewn me up a few times in the past when I had other mishaps... for a nurse just watching doctors, she does a hell of a job!!). She says to me..."I don't think I can fix that... you need to go to the emergency room". I was like, "OK...................let me clean up everything". I wrapped my hand in a towel and started loading all the tools and stuff on the truck. Once I was finished I lied down on the tailgate and almost passed out from the sight of my own blood... I got really lightheaded and had to regain composure.

After we got home we got it cleaned up really good and she says, "Maybe I CAN fix that"... being the "I hate to go to the doctor" person I am, I agreed to let her try.

She did a very good job. I play guitar and could not for about 5 months because of the nerve damage in the tip of that finger but it finally healed up pretty good and I have no problems with it now. Still a little numb but it works. It doesn't have that PAIN that goes along with nerve damage in its infancy. At first it hurt like hell just to press on anything with the tip of that finger.

So that's my STUPID story.... Kids, don't try this at home....

Cam
 
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