emotional frustration related to my knife stuff

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Derek Bergstrom

Derek Bergstrom

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Mar 5, 2014
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Hi, if anyone is willing to listen im having some deep emotional issues with my dads constant lack of support with my knives and currently felt very insulted by somthing he said and if anyone is interested inhelping me price my stuff and work on my tecnique id appreciate an adopted dads advice from the knife world, thanks
 
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I'd be glad to give you honest feedback/constructive criticism Derek. If you'd prefer to do it privately by email that will be fine too. My email address is listed below.
 
I'll adopt you, Just so I can play with that sweet pooch you have on your shoulder in your profile picture ;0) It is a package deal correct?
 
Derek,
People get defensive and say hurtful things. Sons between the age of 16 and 30 and their dads do this a lot. It still hurts. Realize that being a full time knifemaker is hard...at 23 it may be real hard.

Talking to some friends about it helps, but remember that unloading only work if you leave it where you unloaded it. Picking it back up and carrying it on with you will wear you out.

Things that won't help are drinking, drugs, getting mad and throwing/breaking stuff, and yelling. First, try and relax. Then go and try to do some work that fills your mind. hand sanding is therapy for make makers.

Feel free to email or Pm me and discuss your situation and knives.
 
Derek not sure what part of NC you are from but you should plan to come to the NC Custom Knifemakers Guild meeting. We are all makers and love to talk about making knives. our web site is http://www.ncknifeguild.org/
 
As parents we want to encourage our children, but we also have a responsibility to help guide them in their early life decisions. Young people do not have the long term perspective that comes with age, and you can only see that when looking back at it.

When I was a boy I was a competitive athlete. A regional champion. My father saw the energies I put into that and was not particularly encouraging about it as a long term life direction. I learned a skill, I went to school and I'm a successful business owner and can choose my own direction in life. Had I focused on other things during those transitional years I don't know how far it would have taken me, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be where I am.

It is not your parent's job to make you happy or feel good (or anyone else's for that matter) but it is their job to encourage smart moves and discourage dumb moves. As parents we're not always right, but don't judge us for trying.

If your father is not encouraging your pursuit it's probably because he doesn't think it's a wise direction for you to take. Dads aren't always right, but we usually are. Think about that.
 
I've read your profile and posts

As far as I can tell, you don't spend much time here in Shop Talk

So as to improving, have a look at this

http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/s...g-guide-for-beginners?p=13520756#post13520756




I've seen your for sale work and the progress shots you have shown

From what I can tell on those, you grind hard planer blades and do a cord wrap.

Your sale prices are in the 40 - 50$ range


Your profile lists you as a "knifemaker"
If you want that as a full time job, your prices have to increase but your quality has to improve first to justify that.



Let's say you want 50 000 per year income
Even if you got everything for FREE, you still have to sell 1000 to 1200 knives per year, four to six a day EVERY work day.
It's not easy.








Lots of info in the link above.
Lots.
 
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John Katt said:
I'll adopt you, Just so I can play with that sweet pooch you have on your shoulder in your profile picture ;0) It is a package deal correct?
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we got another who is half miniaturer half teacup, so there is a signing bonus as well as the package deal
 
12345678910 said:
I've read your profile and posts

As far as I can tell, you don't spend much time here in Shop Talk

So as to improving, have a look at this

http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/s...g-guide-for-beginners?p=13520756#post13520756




I've seen your for sale work and the progress shots you have shown

From what I can tell on those, you grind hard planer blades and do a cord wrap.

Your sale prices are in the 40 - 50$ range


Your profile lists you as a "knifemaker"
If you want that as a full time job, your prices have to increase but your quality has to improve first to justify that.



Let's say you want 50 000 per year income
Even if you got everything for FREE, you still have to sell 1000 to 1200 knives per year, four to six a day EVERY work day.
It's not easy.








Lots of info in the link above.
Lots.
Click to expand...

thats an overwhelming bit of info for sure. Yes i got a bucnh of planer blades that are good steel and wanted to do something simple people could impulse buy that would be affective and i wouldnt feel im cheating myself by giving them away too cheap. cord wraps provide lots of colors and dont take very long. also im limited in my handles with them becuase theyre so narrow, not much for gaurds and coils ect.
 
Your profile shows your 23. I know where me and the people I grew up with were at at that time. I dont mean location wise either.

Emotional breakdown, huh? You might want to try and forge some thicker skin. Seriously, not to be mean or anything.

Do what you do with authority. You know you're good. Don't look for approval or look to be told what to do next. Is someone critical? Consider it for what it is and learn from it or dismiss it. You'll know whether it's meant to exhort or belittle.

Have your success in your own sight and exude confidence in it. Stick to a plan that will bring you where you want to be. Remember this, perception is reality. How are you being percieved in your endeavors? Having breakdowns? Overwhelmed easily or are you rock solid?

Screw a bunch of breakdowns and feeling sorry for youself and looking for someone to coddle with. I have five kids of my own now. The oldest being 19. None of them are able to be emotionally brokedown by me or anyone else.
 
Have you considered a career working with metals that supports your knifemaking, such as being a machinist, a fabricator, or a welder? Being able to have a ticket goes a long way.
 
newknif said:
Your profile shows your 23. I know where me and the people I grew up with were at at that time. I dont mean location wise either.

Emotional breakdown, huh? You might want to try and forge some thicker skin. Seriously, not to be mean or anything.

Do what you do with authority. You know you're good. Don't look for approval or look to be told what to do next. Is someone critical? Consider it for what it is and learn from it or dismiss it. You'll know whether it's meant to exhort or belittle.

Have your success in your own sight and exude confidence in it. Stick to a plan that will bring you where you want to be. Remember this, perception is reality. How are you being percieved in your endeavors? Having breakdowns? Overwhelmed easily or are you rock solid?

Screw a bunch of breakdowns and feeling sorry for youself and looking for someone to coddle with. I have five kids of my own now. The oldest being 19. None of them are able to be emotionally brokedown by me or anyone else.
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Thick skin, eh? do you mean the calluses on the ends of my fingers from playing guitar? because i have that. or perhaps walls of bitterness that disable one fromfeeling anything at all as a coping mechanism thats inspired by a neurochemical imbalance that was not successfully treated. because i think the walls arent worth it and theyre hard to tear down when youre a sensative person because fear is always there, and no matter how many times you overcome it and your know youre going to be ok its always still there saying you cant, and then its up to you to ignore it or let it rule you. But ive discovered passion, at the great cost of experiencing a deeper pain and a deeper hurt comes with the reward of actually feeling alive by loving people. Forgiveness is definately always key, and it is a continual battle and choice but its not always easy.
I will admit i generally do seek approval, even though ive learned you cant make everyone happy. especially with knives. because its always a compromise. i may know what i know, and i may know im good, but right when i say 'this is a high quality knife and it will hold an edge" someone says " but its hard to sharpen, its brittle" so then i made a tough knife and someone says "but it dulls fast, and it rusts' someone wants a cheap knife and then its lacking any charachter and not premium materials, or, i have to rip the funds out of my account internally and just say "im giving away a free knife apparantly".
The world of knives is always a compromise, and ive learned to say everything has a purpose, its not my fault others cant appropriately place the right thing for the application.
Confidence wise im struggling with people wanting something cheap but they want it to be perfect and really good. i can sharpen like that sure, but making a knife, no. I dont have a cnc machine. i do stuff by hand to the best of my ability and attempt an approxamite calculation of worth by the general market sales of similar designs and materials and expect an established brand will sell a little higher than me.
Ive only been at the making aspect for less than 5 years, off and on, not constantly like imtrying to do now. im learning. but id like some kind of encouragement that makes me desire to strive higher. but if someone says im only worth minimum wage, and thats what its selling for for a long time, it slowly sinks in that people just want cheap and the persuit of perfection is thwarted because there is no reward and no actual acheiving it. I will continue to press on and grow past this incodent, but i have a different background and personality type than you do. im not saying my life is harder or woe is me. ive got things pretty good. but because of thatm the ONE bad thing that happens in a day is easier to focus on and can be consuming i believe. and it was right in one of the few sore spots ive experienced in life and i believe its apparantly still active. being human happens to all of us.
 
Willie71 said:
Have you considered a career working with metals that supports your knifemaking, such as being a machinist, a fabricator, or a welder? Being able to have a ticket goes a long way.
Click to expand...

Yes i considered that at one point but im not really sure what to do about it. I cant go to school, but maybe i could try applying for work at machining places anyways without a degree
 
I agree with Willie, a profession other than artist is a good thing. Trying to make a living as an artist while building your skills is not likely to be a successful position. Trades like machinist, tool and die maker, welder and so on are generally in demand, and will involve related skill sets this will help with building related skills while providing a good career if the knife making doesn't work out. Build at least some of your skills on someone else's dime.

Some thing to think about is that with a lot of artistic careers like knifemaking, there are a lot of people who enjoy it and so do it as a hobby so you need to stand out from them to start with.
 
Derek Bergstrom said:
Yes i considered that at one point but im not really sure what to do about it. I cant go to school, but maybe i could try applying for work at machining places anyways without a degree
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Possibly. Though do you have much of a skill set in these area's? Look for apprenticeships in the area. Also some community colleges and other schools have relatively low cost classes in these fields. Part time classes can help. A crappy job to pay for them might be the best thing. Lots of people have crappy jobs to put themselves through school.
 
You don't need to answer any of these questions on here but may be something to think about.

Are you financially independent?
Are you in school or apprenticing?
Are you gainfully employed?
Are you still living at home?
Are you delaying any career building activities or education to pursue knife making?
Do you have any formal business education or training?

The thing is, becoming a career knife maker with any shred of financial stability is a very very hard thing to do, especially as a first career. Your dad probably realizes this and does not want you to take the road to almost certain failure. Your dad is being a realist and that means he is not going to be a cheerleader for something he sees is not going to be in your best interest. If you cant see that at this time, you will when you mature more.

That being said if you are financially stable, have a good job or are continuing your education into a field that will provide financially stability, I would not worry to much if your dad is not a fan of knife making.
 
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