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famley joke for today

May 6, 2004
feel free to place your funny story or joke for the day here.
please keep it famley readable.
tall tales may need two postings if tall enught..

last mounth when our lawnmower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed or hire the boy down the street.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first -- the truck, the car, fishing, always something less important to her then the grass.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day last week, I found her sitting in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house to the bath room.

When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass," I said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalk." :D

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.:eek:

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right,
and the other is you the husband.:confused:
Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Home
when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for
wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my
too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little
The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other.

What does your wife look like?
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair,
eyes, long legs, big boobs, and
she's wearing tight white shorts.
What does your wife look like?"
The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours.
Little Johnny and his father are walking home one day. They see two dogs, "going at it"...

Little Johnny says, "Daddy, daddy, what are those two doggies doing???"...

His father thinks a moment, then says, "Son, they're making puppies!"...

Little Johnny says "Hmmm"...and thinks about that on the way home...

Later, little Johnny wanders into his parents bedroom...Little Johnny's mom and dad are on the bed, "going at it"...

"Daddy, daddy - what are you and mommy doing???", little Johnny asks...

His father thinks a moment, then says, "Son, we're making a baby!"...

"Flip her over, Daddy!", little Johnny says..."I'd rather have puppies!!!"...
Boudreaux is driving his wife home from the store late one evening, and he almost runs over a baby skunk. He skids to a stop and gets out to make sure the baby skunk is ok. He gets back in the car holding the skunk, and he says to his wife, "Oh, poor little thing. Look it's scared and its cold. Look its shaking it's so cold...poor little thing. Here, hurry, take it and hold it under your dress to warm it up." The wife says, "No! I can't do that. It'll stink!"
Budreaux says, "Well, pinch its little nose!"

The game warden sees Tibideaux coming out of the woods on the opening day of squirrel season. Game warden says, "Tibideaux, did you get any squirrels this morning? Tibideaux says, "Yep, I sure did. I got my limit." The game warden says, "Tibideaux, you ain't got no shotgun! How did you kill those squirrels?" Tibideaux says, "I just sneak up on em and ugly em to death." The game warden thought about this for a few seconds and then asked, "Tibideaux, does your wife ever go hunting with you?" Tibideaux says, "Well, she used to, but you know she tears em up so bad!"

Tibideaux is getting his hair cut at the barbershop and Boudreaux comes running in. Boudreaux, almost out of breath says, "Tibideaux, man I got some bad news and some good news for you." Tibideaux says, "Well, what's the bad news?" Boudreaux says, "Man, your wife done drove her car into the bayou and drowned!" Tibideaux says "Oh no....what's the good news then?" Boudreaux says, "They pulled her out an hour ago and she had three blue crab. So we put her back and we're gonna check her again..there's gonna be more!"