Mistwalker
Gold Member
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2007
- Messages
- 19,034
I haven't been around as much lately I know. I had some very important things to sort out to ensure the changes happening in my life don't have any more negative impacts on Alayna's life than necessary. A few weeks ago Lisa and I ran into a wall in our marriage. We realized that we were each holding the other back from things that are very important to us, and neither of us can live with the guilt of that. We have been best friends for the last fourteen years, and we both agree than friendship is too important to risk. That we can do better for Alayna separately as best friends who work great as a team, than as resentful husband and wife if we don't make some important changes. We are still sorting the legal papers as we are writing them ourselves to see that everything Alayna remains joint between us to minimize the negative impacts on her life and maximize the benefits. Keeping the quality of our children's lives as high as possible has always been something she and I have been on the same page on. We fought the custody battle for my...our oldest daughter together almost fifteen years ago now. That battle drew us together, and then the battle to bring Alayna into the world, which included six miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy that nearly killed her, and the struggles we have faced together on Alayna's behalf forged a very deep friendship more so than the love of husband and wife. We have each been hard on that sort of relationship to be honest, and hopefully we both learned some valuable lessons for our futures. So the last three weeks have been quite distracting with twelve hour days of talking, crying, hugging, and discussing. For both of us it has been much like a month of being unable to breath. But in the past few days, with us still working as a team in all important matters just as we always have done, both of us are in better places. We have each been able to reconnect with the people we are whom we had almost lost without even realizing it.
So, breathing once again and having a working plan, I have finally had some time out with Alayna after weeks of focusing on her but not spending as much time with her. We spent Friday out just the two of us riding around playing guessing games, eating dinner, having desert in the art district and a long walk on the north and south shore areas. I really needed that. She even finally got around to asking to read the article in American Survival Guide that we did.
I call this shot "aftermath" lol, the girl can eat. She's always wide open and has a very high metabolism, and I think Friday we both had better appetites than we have had in a while.
Then Saturday we went out to do the dual task of working on some photography for another writer, and to just spend some time just playing at the park and walking along the river walk. Then we got the pleasant surprise of being joined by a friend and her son who are students of mine, Leslie and Alex. In forming an actual friendship with them both I have lost one of my paying job's, but gained something better than money. I have gained a friend who is going to do for Alayna's music interests what I am doing for Alex's and Leslie's interests. Leslie plays the piano and is an instructor. Alayna has a keyboard she loves to play, but I know nothing about it. It was the first time that Alayna had met Alex and Leslie, and it turned out to be such a great day of fun and laughter. As it turns out, Alayna and Alex have a lot of common interests, not just limited to the piano or the fact that both of them could interrupt everyone taking their dog for a walk to pet them, and sit and play with every dog that passes through the park. It was nice having friends there to keep me grounded in what is really important to me as I move forward in my life, and it was fun to actually have friends interested in the work I do and wanting to help, and it was really cool that everyone enjoyed the food that was the results of the photo shoot. There is a lot of edible and useful wild flora in the area around the park, so we have agreed to do some of our workshops with Alayna and Alex there at the park where it can be a mix of fun and learning.
in starting down a new path in my personal life I set out to find a new place or placess to hang out where there aren't so many memories. Last night I stumbled across a place I really like. I worked for their parent restaurant as a prep cook about twelve or thirteen years ago, but had never really spent any time there. In going in to have a beer and a snack of some sort, I found I like the atmosphere, their IPA, and their coconut shrimp. The lovely young bartender is Stephanie. As it turns out, she is a knife fan, she carries her own, she is going to UTC for graphic design, and is digging the idea of helping with a photo shoot there at the bar with her doing the cutting. She watched all of the photography experiments I did last night...it was a slow Sunday evening, and we discussed lighting and composition. Then we got off onto discussions of knife design aspects and features, blade geometry, functionality, and handle ergonomics. She tells me her boyfriend goes through a lot of knives, mostly folders, in his work so she is going to arrange a chance for the two of us to talk, as I am curious what he is drawn to carry and what he is doing to kill them lol.
So, much has changed in my life this past month. I have realized just how much I had been neglecting myself. The month long loss of appetite probably wasn't very healthy, but the loss of weight feels good, and so I have modified my diet to keep that momentum going, I have been getting more exercise and enjoying the benefits of that as well. I found I had more close friends and a better support network than I realized, and in losing the wife and husband that were in essence killing each other out of love to reconnect with the best friends that have always been there for each other has been a for better experience than I had even hoped when we started down this new path a month ago. So far the journey of finding myself again is off to a good start. In many ways I feel like I am in a better place now mentally and emotionally than I have been in years. I find it refreshing and inspiring. I have a lot of ideas for my artwork that I have taken a break from. I think you guys will like what you see
So, breathing once again and having a working plan, I have finally had some time out with Alayna after weeks of focusing on her but not spending as much time with her. We spent Friday out just the two of us riding around playing guessing games, eating dinner, having desert in the art district and a long walk on the north and south shore areas. I really needed that. She even finally got around to asking to read the article in American Survival Guide that we did.
I call this shot "aftermath" lol, the girl can eat. She's always wide open and has a very high metabolism, and I think Friday we both had better appetites than we have had in a while.
Then Saturday we went out to do the dual task of working on some photography for another writer, and to just spend some time just playing at the park and walking along the river walk. Then we got the pleasant surprise of being joined by a friend and her son who are students of mine, Leslie and Alex. In forming an actual friendship with them both I have lost one of my paying job's, but gained something better than money. I have gained a friend who is going to do for Alayna's music interests what I am doing for Alex's and Leslie's interests. Leslie plays the piano and is an instructor. Alayna has a keyboard she loves to play, but I know nothing about it. It was the first time that Alayna had met Alex and Leslie, and it turned out to be such a great day of fun and laughter. As it turns out, Alayna and Alex have a lot of common interests, not just limited to the piano or the fact that both of them could interrupt everyone taking their dog for a walk to pet them, and sit and play with every dog that passes through the park. It was nice having friends there to keep me grounded in what is really important to me as I move forward in my life, and it was fun to actually have friends interested in the work I do and wanting to help, and it was really cool that everyone enjoyed the food that was the results of the photo shoot. There is a lot of edible and useful wild flora in the area around the park, so we have agreed to do some of our workshops with Alayna and Alex there at the park where it can be a mix of fun and learning.
in starting down a new path in my personal life I set out to find a new place or placess to hang out where there aren't so many memories. Last night I stumbled across a place I really like. I worked for their parent restaurant as a prep cook about twelve or thirteen years ago, but had never really spent any time there. In going in to have a beer and a snack of some sort, I found I like the atmosphere, their IPA, and their coconut shrimp. The lovely young bartender is Stephanie. As it turns out, she is a knife fan, she carries her own, she is going to UTC for graphic design, and is digging the idea of helping with a photo shoot there at the bar with her doing the cutting. She watched all of the photography experiments I did last night...it was a slow Sunday evening, and we discussed lighting and composition. Then we got off onto discussions of knife design aspects and features, blade geometry, functionality, and handle ergonomics. She tells me her boyfriend goes through a lot of knives, mostly folders, in his work so she is going to arrange a chance for the two of us to talk, as I am curious what he is drawn to carry and what he is doing to kill them lol.
So, much has changed in my life this past month. I have realized just how much I had been neglecting myself. The month long loss of appetite probably wasn't very healthy, but the loss of weight feels good, and so I have modified my diet to keep that momentum going, I have been getting more exercise and enjoying the benefits of that as well. I found I had more close friends and a better support network than I realized, and in losing the wife and husband that were in essence killing each other out of love to reconnect with the best friends that have always been there for each other has been a for better experience than I had even hoped when we started down this new path a month ago. So far the journey of finding myself again is off to a good start. In many ways I feel like I am in a better place now mentally and emotionally than I have been in years. I find it refreshing and inspiring. I have a lot of ideas for my artwork that I have taken a break from. I think you guys will like what you see
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Hang tough.
