Admission time. Want to hear something sad? I'm afraid to *really* test my khukris.

I'll explain, but I'm afraid it'll reveal me for the poser I am.
1) What if the khukri fails? I choose mine very deliberately...and it takes me awhile to side-up to a blade and feel comfortable with it. I'd have a hard time parting with any of my favorites, and I almost don't want to know if the blade's sub-par. Separation anxiety?
2) I read somewhere that even if people buy something they don't want, they can't sell it right away...something about the nature of justifying your own shopping ability. You can't just say to yourself easily "I made a bad choice" (well, I can't, at least).
You have to keep an item for awhile until it undergoes "perceived deppreciation" (like putting the ill-fitting shirt in the back of the closet) and you feel that enough time has passed to justify a change of mind and a need to sell/ junk the item.
To make a long story short, I have to wait before I have the heart to test my purchases, most times.
3) Testing still leaves marks. I put a small divot in my Tarwar (nothing really, and well within the blade's limits). I mostly filed it out, but the mark still breaks my heart, as it's an imperfection...albeit one acquired through "honest" use.
Weird, huh? Anyone else feel this way?
i know it's messed up, but heck, it's the way I work. Besides (weak justification in 5, 4,3,2....) I don't have any oak logs to chop or crannies to stick my blades into for testing lateral stress (well, besides the obvious crannies some might tell me to stick it in).
I still trust that almost all (if not all) would pass the testing process anyway, so, uh, so there.
addendum...I DO chop with all my khuks..but it's usually scrap wood and such. Nothing that would try a khuk's patience.