Free Pins !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

K

Kevin the grey

Joined
Aug 26, 2005
Messages
4,106
I am of the opine that pins must be free . I was down to my last shirt . Laundry day tomorrow . It was a birthday shirt . You know , the kind that aunt Milly gives you . Ugly as sin and a poor fit to match .

Unwrap the package did I with trepidation. You see I knew what I was in for.
Dear old Aunt Milly had given me two shirts . Thats why this one waited eight months for me to be desperate enough to open it. PINS !

Really not that many . They even has white plastic heads on them so maybe I would keep a couple . I quickly dislodged the red herring ones . The ones in the open that ruse you into thinking "Hey maybe there are no more ."

That is where the machiavellian cads had their undoing . They put too many pins in . No matter how clever they were they left a couple poking out from deep inside the recesses of the shirt . Those pint sized pricks were soon foiled.(keep your mind out of the gutter. I meant the pins.) :rolleyes:

Finally, search as I may I couldn,t find any others . Thats when I had a rude awakening. :p One of them thar puny prodders got me !

Those twisted bastids . They pulled the double whammy on me . Cleverly lulling me into complacency and then allowing me to think I had foiled them at the last . :)

They took a fold of the tail and inserted a pin from the inside . All that was visible was my pride in having circumvented their shenanigans .This false god was soon to be punctured by their evil deed .

To add insult to injury . I found another in plain view where you would undo the first button . It was a clear indication they were just toying with me .

Its all over now . I,m wearing the shirt like a flag of disgrace . :eek:

Full of pin puncture prudence . :thumbdn:
 
Belly button lint...

Toe Jam...

Ear wax...

Opinions...

(listed in order of importance)
 
You know...after reading that I must admit you have a point!

How could you possibly rate a pure product of the body (earwax) lower than the residue of sock fuzz and dead foot skin??!! I was not thinking clearly and beg your forgiveness;) :o :D
 
I must agree . Any product that is used for arts and crafts is certainly ahead of the game .
Ear wax makes excellent candles . Just ask shrek. :D :thumbup:

I had a private E-mail vote for belly lint as being ahead of earwax in Importance.
The communication said in an emergency you could use belly lint to start a fire .
This is dangerous advice. It took me ten minutes to put the fire my belly button out. :eek:
 
I had a private E-mail vote for belly lint as being ahead of earwax in Importance.
Click to expand...

Well, it is no accident that it is #1 on my list. Fire tinder from one's orifice is certainly worthy of a #1 spot in my opinion.:D Sorry about your umbilicus burn;)
 
MauiRob said:
Well, it is no accident that it is #1 on my list. Fire tinder from one's orifice is certainly worthy of a #1 spot in my opinion.:D Sorry about your umbilicus burn;)
Click to expand...

Sir ,heartfelt apology notwithstanding I feel affronted . Your preposterous proposal is anathema to common sense . You Sir with all due respect are Lilliputian in your ludditious nature .

The very idea that lint , common belly fuzz is held in high regard in your household is beyond myself and all right thinking men . What ? No repartee . No quick wit Sir? Perhaps you did not hear me . Are your ears so stopped up with wax that you have gone deaf ? Stop hording. (No "stop hording" does not mean you cannot visit the local brothel . Read a book , will you.)

I see Sir from your lack of response that you choose to incite me further .
Therefor satisfaction in this matter can only come about through a more direct altercation . Fisticuffs are rather passe for a man of my standing. I propose a duel of a more genteel sort. you may see yourself as the aggrieved party. As I am the bigger man you may choose weapons.

What ? You Cad! Didgeridoos at twenty paces. I cry foul Sir. It is unseemly of you to choose a means of venting your immature rage with a conveyance of which you are a master.

No , no it is a small matter . I will rise above your inferior position with my superior intellect . Alright then, Termite tunnels it is . You may appease your gods all you wish with smoke from your belly button lint . I shall wax prophetic and predict your doom.

I shall expect time and place within fifteen minutes or I will taunt you again .

Thank you and good day.
 
You have chosen to fashion a false God with your lewd lint love.

I shall attempt a short poem as a final means of appeasement and reconciliation.

Rob , Rob the Didgeri-Dude .

Likes his lint but he's so rude.

It matters not where you put Lints Status.

You play an instrument that sounds like flatus .
 
Thomas Linton said:
All this negativism!! :barf:


Will none discuss the issues? For example, 100% cotton lint?
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Thomas your attempts at diplomacy are commendable . There can be no middle ground. The purity of the orificial produce is of no consequence . It is his inability to fathom the depths of his error that is in question .

Perhaps if he scuffed the toe of his boot in the dirt and went "Aw shucks. " I could pardon the outrage . It would at least be an attempt on his part to show contrition.
 
MauiRob said:
How could you possibly rate a pure product of the body (earwax) lower than the residue of sock fuzz and dead foot skin??!!

I was not thinking clearly and beg your forgiveness.;) :o :D
Click to expand...

Uwinv Rob you most certainly was not thinking nor were the others in this thread up to my coming along with enlightenment! :rolleyes: :(
Everbody always, always, forgets the lowly and misunderstood dingleberry and the part it plays in things having to do with the emissions of the human body. Properly gathered and dried dingleberries make the best tinder and especially if they're slightly flattened so as to have little breaks around the diameter, better to get the hot sparks to catch from the flint.:eek:
And by all means don't forget Aunt Myrtles Toenail clipping's. Ten times harder than flint and when struck against good Tejas or Okie Flint makes more sparks than a ferrocerium rod by the Gods!!!!!!!:thumbup: :cool: :D
Aunt Myrtle was the secret woman in Odin's life and the forge to smelt the iron for Odin's so famous hammer was constructed with Aunt Myrtles feet calauoses and the fire started with a piece of her toenail clipping and a super hard piece of good Tejas Flint struck against one of Aunt Myrtles lozenge sized dingleberry tenders!!!! :o
 
severe thread veer in progress, in an attempt to veer back onto the original topic:

kevin, everyone knows that shirt pins not only breed, so that the longer it remains unpackaged, the more pins it has, and that they are psychic, and do their reproductiveness just before your important 'must not fail' meeting where bloodstained shirts are an anathema, but also that after a certain plateau level of pins is reached, they mutate into paper clips.

paper clips themselves, if kept in the dark, will form long chains, and eventually merge into wire coat hangers. which is why you always have more than you thought you did.

wire coat hangers have been known to further mutate into bicycles, which then go on to hide behind bicycle repair shops, at school parking lots, and other places where their presence is like the infamous purloined letter.

bicycles, being the more mobile form, tend to scatter, and as they reproduce by producing spores, are almost impossible to get rid of.

the spores are of course, pins.

and to veer back off again, try this: Linky
 
I bow to the master . How you got to bicycles from pins is still unsure to me .
Yet there is a perverse sort of logic .

Drink up me matey yoho.
 
bicycles produce spores by randomly shedding their spokes, the missing pieces disintegrate rapidly into spore pins. (the mutant bicycles with spokeless wheels are sterile)

for years scientists have debated how the pins find their way into shirts to continue the cycle. one theory is that young children collect the pins in the wild and sell them to shirt manufacturers, hence the english term 'pin money', this is logical as bicycles are frequently found in the vicinity of children.

outsourcing to the far east and the proliferation of asian made shirts and pins may be due to the more prevalent use of bicycles there as well as the current trend amongst western children to limit any physical activity such as collecting bottles for their deposits (or pins), depending on parental largesse instead.

this will be the downfall of our culture, as well as the demise of the western manufacturing tradition. the deposit glass bottle, which depended on the child as an intermediary in it's reproductive cycle has all but died out, and may in fact already be extinct.

are we seeing the demise and fall of the western empire again? rome falls and we fiddle around.
 
My friends, Kronckew does not share our values. Note the thinly disguised advocacy of a questionable position on birth control. Soon he will want to confine bike repair to only certain lines of chains.

Vote Ol' Indian Ear Wax! It shares our values (or at least our ears).
 
Like the masochistic Humpty Dumpty said to all the kings horses and all the kings men after they repaired his makeup ......... "You guys,crack me up."
 
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