Funniest marketing spiel.

flarp said:
Mantis Laser Guided Knife...

[video=youtube;yBVumM6-vt4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBVumM6-vt4[/video]
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I don't know too much about laser guided weaponry of any kind, but I'd like to see someone chop with that, trying to hit the laser as it MOVES WITH YOUR HAND!
This is like tying a laser pointer to a dog's collar and letting him go insane trying to catch the red dot. Just cruel!
This bloke is so serious about it too.
 
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Indianbladenoob said:
I don't know too much about laser guided weaponry of any kind, but I'd like to see someone chop with that, trying to hit the laser as it MOVES WITH YOUR HAND!
This like tying a laser pointer to a dog's collar and letting him go insane trying to catch the red dot.
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Ya think? :D:D:D
 
Had to put this on here because some of the spiel reminds me of the Kill-OZap gun in Douglas Adams' iconic Hitch-hiker Series of books.

Quoted Directly from the book "Life, The Universe and Everything"
Kill-o-Zap blaster pistol - The designer of the gun had clearly not been instructed to beat about the bush. 'Make it evil,' he'd been told. 'Make it totally clear that this gun has a right end and a wrong end. Make it totally clear to anyone standing at the wrong end that things are going badly for them. If that means sticking all sort of spikes and prongs and blackened bits all over it then so be it. This is not a gun for hanging over the fireplace or sticking in the umbrella stand, it is a gun for going out and making people miserable with.'

Cant help but think some of these companies followed a similar philosophy for their knives.
 
Razrknife.com. Old J. Lightning "tops" them all. ;) And just so you know, he DROPPED his prices by about 30-40% last year.As a sheath is not included, you must also check out the uber special sheath "system.":D
 
SunsetFisherman said:
One more vote for zombie tech! LOL
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No disrespect intended but didn't even Ka-Bar give in and do some Zombie related stuff?
So even the serious knife companies are guilty of just a little bit of it.
Edit-- Well I guess TOPS is by Buck USA too............
Edit 2-- And lets not forget "you can demolish buildings with our knives" Busse.
 
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jdm61 said:
Razrknife.com. Old J. Lightning "tops" them all. ;) And just so you know, he DROPPED his prices by about 30-40% last year.As a sheath is not included, you must also check out the uber special sheath "system.":D
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The "dropped" price is $550-600!?!?!?!?
And the disclaimer is scary. "We are not liable if you hurt yourself with it"
 
Indianbladenoob said:
Like Mantis and Extrema Ratio had a bunch of love-children.
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exactly! ...Extrema Ratio should have had a vasectomy, as their genes were better off the way they were, lol. it's a shame they shamelessly promote these things as amazing super knives designed by and for spec ops personnel in particular. it's a great way to lure some poor teenager into wasting his money bying into the hype and thinking he looks badass, like the guys on the video games. You can't help but give a shout out to TOPS for the same shameless garbage... they actually have a few good designs, but it gets lost in the sea of trash and slogans
 
It's excellent for home defense

[video=youtube;_hfLZozBVpM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hfLZozBVpM[/video]

Not a knife I know, but still..........................
 
IDK how valid this is on my own post but it cracked me up good that there is a Chinese website selling a fake Gerber Metolius FB and calling it (and I kid you not) "The Gerber Exorcism Knife".
I am unsure if I can post the link here but if you google "Exorcism Knife" its the 3rd link.
 
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A blast from the past...

Call me Lee, the possibilities are infinite. I am Yogi Mystic, Master of martial arts, in the Masters of martial arts hall of fame. Hold the 27 year all time
K.O. record in the national Toughman, done at age 60.
I am unlike any man you have ever known. And my blades are the only
totally new and effecient design to manifest in all the previous history
of american bladesmithing.
My blades are outcutting the top Master smiths,3 to 1. No one can
come close to my blades.
If we communicate, I will know in short order if you are one of those rare
and ancient warrior spirits.

Master Shiva Ki
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and
I have in fact, done the impossible. Must I apologize, because I`ve quantum leaped into alien territory, far above the current best? This does not belittle them, it
just gives a benchmark, that makes a measure between the norm and the
quantum leap I`ve made in the world of knives blatantly expressed.
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Planterz said:
A blast from the past...
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Wow! Seriously WOW!. "Masters of martial arts hall of fame" ??!?
"Rare and ancient warrior spirits"!!! More like a rare and ancient piece of cheese.
If he was being serious otherwise its just genius. Funny how that is...............
 
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Capture.png


"this 6 pound piece of potential violence makes one ooze badassery just holding it." Here that guys??? We can ooze badassery for $450
 
TotalDbag said:
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"this 6 pound piece of potential violence makes one ooze badassery just holding it." Here that guys??? We can ooze badassery for $450
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If someone offered me one for free, I'd be glad to have one. But not for $450. Well, maybe... Thanksgiving is coming up and I need to carve a turkey somehow. I mean, I don't want to let my family down by not carving the turkey. Who wants to eat a turkey that's not carved? Are you going to just tear the meat off? No. Think about it, you could be 4 ft. away cooking everything else on the stove, and with your other hand, just reach out with this chunk of steel and be carving the turkey without having to move an inch. If anything it saves time, and we all know that time equals money. So technically you are saving money by buying this thing.
 
knife2Agunfight said:
If someone offered me one for free, I'd be glad to have one. But not for $450. Well, maybe... Thanksgiving is coming up and I need to carve a turkey somehow. I mean, I don't want to let my family down by not carving the turkey. Who wants to eat a turkey that's not carved? Are you going to just tear the meat off? No. Think about it, you could be 4 ft. away cooking everything else on the stove, and with your other hand, just reach out with this chunk of steel and be carving the turkey without having to move an inch. If anything it saves time, and we all know that time equals money. So technically you are saving money by buying this thing.
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Oh yeh, badass. Oh and death to all! :p
 
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