One day me and my buddy Jim were creek fishing in the woods. We decided to go upstream, and as the creek was fairly deep, we walked the bank of the creek. I was a pretty good distance in front of him, and found a log that spanned the creek, and decided to cross there. Upon crossing when approximately mid span, the log began to submerge, at which time I jumped off onto the opposite bank. I waited for Jim there, so I could watch him cross the log. Being that Jim was heavier then I, when he got in the middle and the log started sinking, he couldn't jump off in time as he was wearing chest waders. The water came up just over his chest, and I'm laughing so hard that even though he can hardly move, he starts laughing too. After pulling him out and watching him drain the water out of those waders is still funny to this day. The things we did as teenagers !
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Funny Experiences in th Wilderness
- Thread starter B. Miller
- Start date
When much younger, I and some other boys were on a hike in the California hills. After returning to camp, someone noticed we'd walked through a patch of poison oak. Primarily they noticed this because of some pretty nice itching and rashes. Within an hour, most of the group was itching nicely, and had been sent to the showers to clean up. I thought I'd missed out on the nifty plants, only to arrive back home, and have my dad get rashes that kept him home from work for a day from helping me unpack. I have yet to have a reaction to the stuff, but I've been a wee bit more careful since then, and can't verify that I've ever actually been in the stuff since then...
On a more personal note, the most (retrospectively) humorous incident I ever incurred upon myself is as follows...
At the camp I worked at, we would get the whole camp (60 - 100 folks, usually had a turnout approaching 50) out for a game of capture the flag. We'd have a few staff ref'ing, and some others playing... One time, as I was crawling through the woods on the far edge of our boundaries, I decided I needed to take a leak. I found a nice big tree to place between me and the rest of the game, and stood up, bumping a branch with my head as I stood. I relieved myself, and then felt the bump I'd gotten on my head. Funny, it was wet, I wasn't that hot... Turns out I'd put a 1.5 inch gash in my cranium covering. I managed to get my pants zipped with only one unbloody hand, and then wandered into a nearby camp, and asked for some paper towels. No one moved. Then everyone ran for the chuckbox and the towels. A few moments later I had convinced them I was not dying, and that someone needed to go to the HQ building and let the medic know I'd injured myself. It was a while before I told the whole story of how... I'm still amazed at how much blood can leak out of your head before it starts to hurt much...
Stryver, who wore a hat religiously after that, and still wears 'head armor' daily
On a more personal note, the most (retrospectively) humorous incident I ever incurred upon myself is as follows...
At the camp I worked at, we would get the whole camp (60 - 100 folks, usually had a turnout approaching 50) out for a game of capture the flag. We'd have a few staff ref'ing, and some others playing... One time, as I was crawling through the woods on the far edge of our boundaries, I decided I needed to take a leak. I found a nice big tree to place between me and the rest of the game, and stood up, bumping a branch with my head as I stood. I relieved myself, and then felt the bump I'd gotten on my head. Funny, it was wet, I wasn't that hot... Turns out I'd put a 1.5 inch gash in my cranium covering. I managed to get my pants zipped with only one unbloody hand, and then wandered into a nearby camp, and asked for some paper towels. No one moved. Then everyone ran for the chuckbox and the towels. A few moments later I had convinced them I was not dying, and that someone needed to go to the HQ building and let the medic know I'd injured myself. It was a while before I told the whole story of how... I'm still amazed at how much blood can leak out of your head before it starts to hurt much...
Stryver, who wore a hat religiously after that, and still wears 'head armor' daily
- Joined
- Oct 12, 1998
- Messages
- 1,647
Somewhat related...
A few years ago, my wife and I were camping in the Sage Creek Wilderness adjunct to Badlands National Park. It was late in the fall, and we were the only ones there, but we made sure that the park staff and rangers knew we were out here, as it's a bit off the beaten path.
Anyways, one day, in the late afternoon, I was in the, um, head, having my daily constitutional. I suddenly hear my wife calling to me, almost yelling, but not quite. I inform my wife, "Um, I'm a little busy here, hold on a few minutes..." "No, you gotta get out here, right now!" Damn!
I get put back together and go outside to see that 5 buffalo had wandered into the campground and were meandering over towards our site. You sometimes don't realize how big these critters are until you watch them walk up to one of those big park picnic tables, which is only half their height, and scratch their sides against them, nearly tossing the table over. They're big!
Knowing that these are, technically, "wild" animals, and being warned by park personnel about injuries, we decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and slowly went over and got in the car to watch these magnificent critters. We were intent on watching a couple of them as they sniffed around our site, when my wife suddenly, audibly gasped and grabbed my arm. I looked over to see one staring into the car! Did I mention these guys are big? His face was about even with ours, with the crest of his back probably a bit higher than the roof of the car. He gave a snort, steaming the window, then walked away. They all eventually ambled off and continued their feeding stroll.
We sat in the car, in awe of the experience, for a while longer, and listened as a few coyotes started their evening calls out among the hills, when my wife whispered, "That was simply amazing." I turned to my wife and said, "Hon, it sure was, but I'm sorry, I still gotta go..."
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Don LeHue
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings...they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
[This message has been edited by DonL (edited 02-03-2000).]
A few years ago, my wife and I were camping in the Sage Creek Wilderness adjunct to Badlands National Park. It was late in the fall, and we were the only ones there, but we made sure that the park staff and rangers knew we were out here, as it's a bit off the beaten path.
Anyways, one day, in the late afternoon, I was in the, um, head, having my daily constitutional. I suddenly hear my wife calling to me, almost yelling, but not quite. I inform my wife, "Um, I'm a little busy here, hold on a few minutes..." "No, you gotta get out here, right now!" Damn!
I get put back together and go outside to see that 5 buffalo had wandered into the campground and were meandering over towards our site. You sometimes don't realize how big these critters are until you watch them walk up to one of those big park picnic tables, which is only half their height, and scratch their sides against them, nearly tossing the table over. They're big!
Knowing that these are, technically, "wild" animals, and being warned by park personnel about injuries, we decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and slowly went over and got in the car to watch these magnificent critters. We were intent on watching a couple of them as they sniffed around our site, when my wife suddenly, audibly gasped and grabbed my arm. I looked over to see one staring into the car! Did I mention these guys are big? His face was about even with ours, with the crest of his back probably a bit higher than the roof of the car. He gave a snort, steaming the window, then walked away. They all eventually ambled off and continued their feeding stroll.
We sat in the car, in awe of the experience, for a while longer, and listened as a few coyotes started their evening calls out among the hills, when my wife whispered, "That was simply amazing." I turned to my wife and said, "Hon, it sure was, but I'm sorry, I still gotta go..."
------------------
Don LeHue
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings...they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
[This message has been edited by DonL (edited 02-03-2000).]
- Joined
- Nov 29, 1999
- Messages
- 632
Don,
Now that is a story I can relate to
As noted in the short story listed below.
http://www.ssurvival.com/MyStory.htm
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Greg Davenport
http://www.ssurvival.com
Are You Ready For The Challenge?
Are You Ready To Learn The Art Of Wilderness Survival?
Now that is a story I can relate to
http://www.ssurvival.com/MyStory.htm
------------------
Greg Davenport
http://www.ssurvival.com
Are You Ready For The Challenge?
Are You Ready To Learn The Art Of Wilderness Survival?
Well... Many years ago I was a Boy Scout. And while out on a camping trip, I felt the need to visit the latrine. It was a hot and muggy summer day in the woods of Virginia (I can remember this quite clearly.) I stood in front of the latrine, unzipped my fly, and exposed the necessary aspect of my plumbing to accomplish the desired task. Everything was going just swimmingly well when a very large mosquito alit upon my... outboard valve. In a split second I decided that I was going to have none of this, and swung my free hand down in a mighty arc to dispatch this offending interloper before it could do its dirty deed. Now I must reiterate that this all took place in less than a second. Well... my hand landed exactly as and where I had intended, and managed to do 3 things: 1) Splash (and quite thoroughly too) 2) Double me over in the kind of pain that only guys can truly comprehend 3) and kill the d***ed mosquito. Actually this last part is totally unconfirmed, but I HAVE to believe that I got him. Upon returning to the main campsite, I had to explain the condition of my trousers to the rest of my troop. It was funny to them, but at the time I failed to see the humor in it. Ah... memories!
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When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
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When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
I was up in Montana teaching some cops winter survival techniques. We also had a few Canadian Air Force folks with us. In my group we had a Master Warrant Officer, their highest enlisted rank. So we go out to the woods and I am foraging for wild edibles but no finding much as their is at least a foot of snow on the ground and it is -25 below zero. I found some small Juniper bushes with a few berries and thus began the "peanut plant" preparation. I took the peanuts I had bought at the store, cracked the end of them so they would grasp the branches and left. One peanut even had some purple dye so I used that to show a 'natural' peanut state. Now you have to understand these were roasted, salted, fresh out of the bag peanuts.
So I began my lesson on plants, demoed the first part of the edibility test and began a plant walk. I showed them Birches, grasses, and then finally the "peanut plants". I had them grab them and eat them. "Oh my GOSH they taste just like the store bought ones.!!! These are GREAT!! AWESOME!!!" This one Second Lieutenant(real young guy) starts kicking snow digging around for more claiming how he is going ot look for these in the summer when he goes hiking, he is just going wild about these peanuts. Then the Master Warrant Officer says to me, "But Airman Martinez, don't peanuts grow UNDERGROUND?" "Why yes they do!!!", I say very loudly. The look on these guys faces when they realize they had been had was priceless. Not only were these peanuts above ground but they believed they naturally came roasted and salted.
Who says adults can't be just as much fun as kids?
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Yol bolsun,
Jamie
So I began my lesson on plants, demoed the first part of the edibility test and began a plant walk. I showed them Birches, grasses, and then finally the "peanut plants". I had them grab them and eat them. "Oh my GOSH they taste just like the store bought ones.!!! These are GREAT!! AWESOME!!!" This one Second Lieutenant(real young guy) starts kicking snow digging around for more claiming how he is going ot look for these in the summer when he goes hiking, he is just going wild about these peanuts. Then the Master Warrant Officer says to me, "But Airman Martinez, don't peanuts grow UNDERGROUND?" "Why yes they do!!!", I say very loudly. The look on these guys faces when they realize they had been had was priceless. Not only were these peanuts above ground but they believed they naturally came roasted and salted.
Who says adults can't be just as much fun as kids?
------------------
Yol bolsun,
Jamie
When I was in college, a friend and I decided to use our Christmas break to do some backpacking. Since it was snowing in the Sierra, we decided to go to the coast. It took all day to walk in to our deserted campsite on a low cliff overlooking the Pacific.
The weather was clear and dry, but still a little cold, so after we set up camp and it was dark, we walked down to the beach to build a fire. Being winter, the beach was just overflowing with driftwood and other dry tinder. As we were gathered armful after armful of wood (we were going to build a FIRE dammit!, Ah, the wastefullness of youth), I looked down and what did I see but an entire GALLON of gasoline! The rusty can looked like it had been at sea for awhile, probably washing off a boat.
Well, we dug a pit about six feet across in the sand and filled it with tinder and tons of driftwood. I poured about half a gallon of gas on the wood (I know, I know) and my pyromaniac friend started jabbering about how he should be the one to light it. I took a few steps back and just as I said "You better move way back and throw the match in." He leaned over the pile and lit a match!
KABOOM!! "My god!" I thought, temporarily blinded by the ball of flame that I was sure had ships at sea radioing the Coast Guard, "He's killed himself."
After my eyesight returned, I saw that my friend had rolled about ten yards backward in the sand and was laying there, stunned. It turned out he only suffered the loss of his eyebrows. We both started laughing and couldn't stop for a long time. The best thing was, we still had about half the gas left for the next night.
The weather was clear and dry, but still a little cold, so after we set up camp and it was dark, we walked down to the beach to build a fire. Being winter, the beach was just overflowing with driftwood and other dry tinder. As we were gathered armful after armful of wood (we were going to build a FIRE dammit!, Ah, the wastefullness of youth), I looked down and what did I see but an entire GALLON of gasoline! The rusty can looked like it had been at sea for awhile, probably washing off a boat.
Well, we dug a pit about six feet across in the sand and filled it with tinder and tons of driftwood. I poured about half a gallon of gas on the wood (I know, I know) and my pyromaniac friend started jabbering about how he should be the one to light it. I took a few steps back and just as I said "You better move way back and throw the match in." He leaned over the pile and lit a match!
KABOOM!! "My god!" I thought, temporarily blinded by the ball of flame that I was sure had ships at sea radioing the Coast Guard, "He's killed himself."
After my eyesight returned, I saw that my friend had rolled about ten yards backward in the sand and was laying there, stunned. It turned out he only suffered the loss of his eyebrows. We both started laughing and couldn't stop for a long time. The best thing was, we still had about half the gas left for the next night.
When I was a teenager, a friend went backpacking in Northern Utah near our home. Our destination was a lovely little valley with a set of three beaver ponds in the lowest portion. We would catch small trout for breakfast to supplement our carried rations. The trip up from the truck took us through about four miles of stream bed where it was easier to walk in the water than on the bank. There is one point where the water is too deep and we and others had made a trail on the rock hillside. On this fatefull day, Richard was in the lead when he came upon a small rattlesnake sunning itself on the trail. Richard carried a .36 cal. Navy blackpowder revolver and decided to dispatch the snake since there was no way around it. Without thoroughly examining the terrain near the snake, he crept as close as he dared, lifted the barrel, pointed it at the snake and fired from about 6 feet. Apparently, the snake was coiled on solid rock with a rock backdrop also because all anyone could see was a large cloud of smoke from the shot and a snake flying past Richard's head! The force of the shot must have rebounded in his direction and if the snake had flown about a foot to the right, Richard would have had an angry snake for a necktie!
Same location, same guys, different trip, Richard was standing on a log that jutted out into the beaver pond, holding his .45 ACP at his side. He accidently squeezed one off into his foot, shot a half inch hole through his boot where his toes ought to be. He knew by the pain that he needed a doc and it was five miles down the creek to the truck, and 25 miles back to the closest town. He dared not take his boot off to see which toes were missing, for fear his foot would swell and he wouldn't be able to get it back on. So he spent the next several hours, in water and dust, not knowing if he had lost toes, marching through the stream to the truck. When he got there, he took his boot off and there was a neat little .45 inch hole precisely between two toes. The bullet took a little meat off each one but no broken bones! After this, most of the group stopped going hiking with Richard!
Bruce Woodbury
PS: He's still alive to this day and that was 30 years ago!
[This message has been edited by bruce (edited 02-04-2000).]
Same location, same guys, different trip, Richard was standing on a log that jutted out into the beaver pond, holding his .45 ACP at his side. He accidently squeezed one off into his foot, shot a half inch hole through his boot where his toes ought to be. He knew by the pain that he needed a doc and it was five miles down the creek to the truck, and 25 miles back to the closest town. He dared not take his boot off to see which toes were missing, for fear his foot would swell and he wouldn't be able to get it back on. So he spent the next several hours, in water and dust, not knowing if he had lost toes, marching through the stream to the truck. When he got there, he took his boot off and there was a neat little .45 inch hole precisely between two toes. The bullet took a little meat off each one but no broken bones! After this, most of the group stopped going hiking with Richard!
Bruce Woodbury
PS: He's still alive to this day and that was 30 years ago!
[This message has been edited by bruce (edited 02-04-2000).]
- Joined
- Oct 12, 1998
- Messages
- 1,647
Why does it seem that the best stories about the wilderness have something to do with firearms, food, or bodily functions? LOL!
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Don LeHue
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings...they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
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Don LeHue
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings...they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
Brian Jones
Moderator
- Joined
- Jan 17, 1999
- Messages
- 7,560
Well, this isn't as funny in the retelling, but my friends and I were in the Rockies, cooking dinner around the campfire, and had been deeply discussing the philosophy of "If a tree falls in forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?"
It was twilight, and we started talking again about it, when across the lake... well, a tree broke apart and crashed to the ground.
We all stopped and looked at each other dumbly, in silence when my friend said, "I didn't hear a damn thing!" All of us chimed in, "Nope, me neither, etc. etc." And we started howling with laughter.
Had to be there...
~B.
It was twilight, and we started talking again about it, when across the lake... well, a tree broke apart and crashed to the ground.
We all stopped and looked at each other dumbly, in silence when my friend said, "I didn't hear a damn thing!" All of us chimed in, "Nope, me neither, etc. etc." And we started howling with laughter.
Had to be there...
~B.
Ebbtide
Gold Member
- Joined
- Aug 20, 1999
- Messages
- 7,932
My first deer hunting trip. My buddy was a bit of a know-it-all, and wanted to pull the old 'deer droppings replaced with raisenets' trick...I was ready...when he gave me the 'these are the deer do do's & they taste really good' line (while eating the rasinets) I said Wow! I gotta try some of them! and faked a scoop, then poured a handful of my own raisinets into my mouth. He near choked! What! Wait! You can't really eat them!! Needless to say, we skipped the snipe hunt that night.