Funny Story--Flea Market "Knife Dealer"

Feb 8, 1999
This is what happened to me once when I was a kid attending a local flea market.

I was probably in third glade or so and I had always been interested in knives.So I came upon one of the tables and was happy to see a table full of knives. They were all the horrendously cheap fantasy type knives (they even made Frost Knives look like top of the line stuff!
) you usually see at these kinds of shows. I picked up one of those "paratrooper" type knives where the blade slides into the handle. When the owner of the table saw me pick the knife up, he came over and started giving me one helluva sales pitch. He went on and on about how all the special forces used the knife and how it was one of the best combat knives made. Then he got off on the "made in the USA" stuff. He told me how the knife and all its parts were proudly made and assembled in the USA and were made of the highest quality steels, unlike a lot of that foreign made junk. This guy must have learned from Lynn Thompson
. Anyway I just happened to glance down at the box for the knife and it said "Made In Taiwan"!! I called it to the man's attention and he got really embarassed, his face turned red, and he started stuttering excuses. He finally said " Uh, well, I didn't know that, but its still a damn good knife!" and gruffly walked to the other end of the table. It was all I could do to keep from laughing in his face! What made it even more pitiful was that when I was leaving I went back by his table and he had taken a black marker and blacked out the "made in taiwan" and was giving the same "made in the USA" speach to some other poor soul!
I had one guy tell me the rigid u-2 bowie was used by the pilots of the u-2 flights.

Similar story.

Each year my wife and I go to the Florida keys. We pass through Ft. Lauderdale and always visit the SWAP Shop Flea Market. I have several dealers there and always drop into to say high. At one table I noticed a lot of pepper spray and walked over to check it out. I make pepper spray and always like to check out my dealers competition so I can arm them with ammunition. Well to my sunrise on the table amongst the 200 or so sprays was one of mine, just one. Curious, I asked the dealer about the one spray. He said he bought it from one of his competitors to show people that his spray was better. Now I was really curious and new I was about to have a whole lot of fun

First the brand he carried was one I was very familiar with. I said "see my wife over there, I would like to get one for her, which would you suggest". He correctly pointed out the keychain model which is what I would recommend as well. No that is the only thing he did correctly.


I said that most of the dealers here carry that SOS spray (The one I make and pictured above) and I asked him to compare the brand he was carrying. He said my brand is illegal because it is 15%, which it is 15% but not illegal. He then said his brand sprays 20 feet and mine only 6-10 feet. Well he was correct in that statement about my spray but incorrect about his. He said my spray is diluted is not police rated. I said huh? Anyway this continued for a few more minuted and I then started looking for boots as it was getting pretty darn deep.

He had even told me that the owner of WOW had died after being sprayed with his own spray. That was it. I picked up the package and held it to my face and said who the hell do you think this guy in the picture is? And doesn't my wife look very similar to this girl in the picture, not to mention my daughter. I told the guy if he did not start telling the truth that I would make it a personal goal of mine to remove him from the flea market by giving my dealers VERY good deals.

He is no longer in business.

BTW I started my business at a local Flea Market in 1991. I know excactly what you are talking about as people would come by my tables all the time and tell me what the guy said down the way. The really funny stories were about swords.

Best Regards,
Mike Turber
BladeForums Site Owner and Administrator
Do it! Do it right! Do it right NOW!

You go Mike!!
Man, I wish I could have seen his face.
I always love walking into a knife store or checking out a knife cart and asking "amateur" questions to experience their pitch and level of expertise(or lack thereof).
I am almost always amazed at their lack of knowledge and their reaction when I try to correct them(tactfully of course...."No you idiot this knife is not a SEAL issue"
) and inform them etc....

God bless!

Romans 10:9-10

"Military" Fans Unite!!
The funniest knife store experience I had didn't come from a dealer, but from a customer. I used to hang around like a parasite at the local knife store where my friends worked, and all sorts would come in, of course. But one day a young man wandered in and began examining some swords and big fantasy Bowies. When my pal asked him if he'd like to see something, he asked for a large, blackened monstrosity of the Hibben-ish variety and began lecturing both of us on how "black steel" didn't resist corrosion as well as "regular steel," but was much sharper. We listened intently and nodded and "mm-hmm"'d as he expounded on black steel's virtues as if he were imparting some secret knowledge. It was hard, but we kept straight faces until he announced that he wasn't interested in purchasing and left. Then we both fell down and laughed 'til we hurt


(Why else would a bear want a pocket?)
I remember at the tender age of 16 going to a flea market and meeting one of the local hucksters. He was extolling the virutes of his SURGICAL STAINLESS pocket knives. I remember him CONSTANTLY sharpening his demo knife to a "RAY-ZOR EDGE, Ladies and Gemmin!"
After a while I was the only one standing at the table and he leans over like he's sharing national secrets and says, "Son, I got a special knife for you...I could tell you were a quality buyer when I first saw you. This here XYZ brand knife comes with a genuine bone handle." I looked at it and said, "What kind of bone? Chicken bone?" He stuttered and said, "Oh, that's not the one I wanted to show you, THIS is YOUR knife...inlaid with GEN-U-WINE IMITATION TUQUOISE!" "Better known as (long pause) PLASTIC?!?" I said. Needless to say, the guy was a little miffed at me. A few people walked up about that time so I poked around for a few minutes and saw a VERY OLD Italian style switchblade in one of his cases. I asked how much he wanted for it and he said, "Tell you what Mr. Know-It-All, I've had that knife for 3 years. If you can figger out how to close it, you can HAVE IT!"
The other customers heard this and came over to see what would happen. He handed me the knife, I looked at it, pushed the guard down, closed the blade, and said, "Can you gift wrap that for me? I'd like to give it to my dad."
I LOVE IT!!!! hahaha ROFLMAO!!!
Man, I gotta tell one tells a beter story than customers at the knife shows I work. They try to act like they know it all so they don't look like a easy target, prone to getting ripped off. I like it when they swear that Buck, and their 420 steels hold an edge better than anything else. Especially better than that ATS BS. hahaha Yeah right. We try to make only $5 - $8 per knife (BM, Spyderco, etc...) so It's really funny when someone walks off and comes back and says "well this guy said he'd give me one fer $15 less..." hahah I just tell em' "Who? Man that's a good deal. I might have to go buy a few myself." hahahaha...that gets em'. Especially since I know who most of the others are, and we always have the best price. -AR

- Intelligent men, unfortunately, learn from fools, more often than fools learn from intelligent men.

A dealer with a store near where I live said he was selling a Benchmade AFCKbt for as low as he could...($145!!!)...I took my Benchmade AFCKbt out of my pocket and told him I got it for only $90
) o-BUSTED-o
I was at a gun show and I had annoyed this guy selling overpriced cheap switchblades so much he gave me a key chain one and told me to get the hell out of here
Hey Danelle,

I know you have a story or two to share.
Let's hear them.

God bless!

Romans 10:9-10

"Military" Fans Unite!!
One of the enjoyable features of doing flea markets and gun&knife shows is the arrogant people that come in, (usually with friends or a girlfriend/boyfriend), and just have to show off their vast knowledge of cutlery, wheter it is true or not. It takes a lot of respect and control not to correct them in front of the others or to laugh in their face for that matter. And when it comes to butterlfy knives, there are two types of people, those who are afraid of them and those who think they are masters with them.Both are usually jokes.

Mike....isn't that Sunrise Swap Shop something else. Used to go there when I lived in Pompano Bch. When I first moved up here, people told me to go to the Tallahassee Flea Market,they said "it was huge.".....Not after visiting Lauderdale it's not.

Was watching the "Knife Guys" on TV earlier. (Sister-in-law has no cable, but I love her anyways!)

Anywho.....they had on the show an "Knife Expert" from Tennessee. Wish I had written the guy's name down. He was yakking it up about the positive features and great value in the knives they were selling. Especially the enormous BOO-IE knife that was part of the package. He kept talking about the 440 Surgical Stainless blades on these knives. I was laughing so hard I almost had an asthma attack! My wife looked at them and said, "What is that crap?!? Golly, I love her!
And THEN there are the numerous stories about the guy who walks up and tests how sharp the knife is, thereby proceeding to slice himself open in disbelief. This was right after he spent 4 minutes telling YOU how to best sharpen a knife.

Those are the jokers [i.e., fools] that defy all brain functioning. ha!!
the story i like most is the one where a guy (friend of a friend..some years back) goes into a S F junk store....(called anitques in some places) looks around and finds this old old ax.....looks at it a while.....asks the man how much...$25....and walk out with his Bill Scagel ax.....which was then sold to a collector in n y for around 5 gs.....