GEC Medium Leather Slip Giveaway

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If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a minute. They're usually around 90 degrees.
 
I'm in!

A man died and went to The Judgment, they told him , “Before you meet with God, I should tell you — we’ve looked over your life, and to be honest you really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not really sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?” The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a person who was being harassed by a group of thugs. So I pulled over, got out a bat, and went up to the leader of the thugs. He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced through his lip. Well, I tore the ring out of his lip, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this guy or they would have to deal with me!” “Wow that’s impressive, “When did this happen?” “About three minutes ago,” came the reply.
 
Let's say... No more entries after 8:30pm and I'll announce the best sense of humor at 9pm and reward that individual's good taste with some leather. 😎
 
The winner -
meako said:
What did the Maori say to the person of Jewish heritage?
Hee, Broo.
Click to expand...

Only because the Kiwi accent is the funniest thing in the English language. Seriously, try to say the word d---head out loud in a hard kiwi accent and not laugh. Do it with a friend. It's impossible.


But since Meako appears to be some kinda filthy foreigner 😁, the leather goes to our runner up-

davek14 said:
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!
Click to expand...

So come on DaveK, gimme an address to send the slip to buddy. And I trust you not to press it into the service of evil; but, admittedly, it wouldn't be the first such use of a small leather pouch in history.
 
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Congratulations to the winner! Lots of knee slappers made for some good reading.


arrowhd said:
Now that's funny right there Jackrabbit!

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
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Thanks arrowhd, your joke was strongly reminiscent of a typical family conversation growing up in my household. :D
 
Wow, thanks so much. And the guys at work say I'll never profit from my jokes, go figure.

I've e-mailed you my addy. Let me know if you didn't get it.

I'll use that for the sweetly modded knife I won from Glennbad which I carry Sunday at church (so it is really my "Sunday go to meeting knife") and other respectable locations.

Say, you've not "pressed it into the service of evil" yourself have you?



Cassander said:
The winner -


Only because the Kiwi accent is the funniest thing in the English language. Seriously, try to say the word d---head out loud in a hard kiwi accent and not laugh. Do it with a friend. It's impossible.


But since Meako appears to be some kinda filthy foreigner ��, the leather goes to our runner up-



So come on DaveK, gimme an address to send the slip to buddy. And I trust you not to press it into the service of evil; but, admittedly, it wouldn't be the first such use of a small leather pouch in history.
Click to expand...
 
davek14 said:
Say, you've not "pressed it into the service of evil" yourself have you?
Click to expand...

Of course not. But I bet Hitler had a small leather pouch that he kept his generals' balls in. Jus sayin ;)

I'll get it out to you tomorrow. Glad it'll get some use, I hope you enjoy it brother. 🙏
 
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Congrats, davek14! Sounds like you have a great plan for using your new pocket slip.:thumbup:

And thanks, Cassander, for hosting this GAW. Read some funny jokes here :D I've already butchered several of them trying to tell them myself.

- GT
 
davek14 said:
Wow, thanks so much. And the guys at work say I'll never profit from my jokes, go figure.

I've e-mailed you my addy. Let me know if you didn't get it.

I'll use that for the sweetly modded knife I won from Glennbad which I carry Sunday at church (so it is really my "Sunday go to meeting knife") and other respectable locations.

Say, you've not "pressed it into the service of evil" yourself have you?
Click to expand...

Did you get it yet bud?
 
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