Get Someone to Pay Me on Time

annr

annr

Basic Member
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Nov 15, 2006
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I have a student who resists paying me on time and I’m not sure how I should handle her.

When I agree to teach someone I give them my policies on scheduling, cancellation and payment. I require payment for four lessons at a time. I don’t send bills; occasionally I send email reminders when I do my books and see that someone has fallen behind. I prefer not to discuss money during a person’s lesson and in 30 years I have never had anyone as bad as this lady.

She has developed a problem: “forgetting her checkbook”. The last time I saw her she flipped a switch in me and I’m not sure what I will say the next time I see her and she has ‘forgotten her checkbook’ again.

Last week I left the matter of payment until the end of the lesson. When I saw that she was not going to broach the subject I asked her for her check:

“I would write you a check if I had my checkbook.” (in a nasty tone)

I had sent her an email reminder the previous day and she remembered everything BUT her checkbook.

She didn’t apologize or offer to send me a check. (Last time she said she would mail the check she decided to bring it to the next lesson instead.) When I explained I like to be paid on time she conceded that maybe she could pay me in cash for that lesson. She scrounged up about 75% of the cost of the lesson and says, “Here.”

I explained that I don’t want partial payments. I want a check for the full amount and I set my fees and policies to reflect the fact that I don’t bill or spend time discussing money in lessons; I find it unpleasant.

“Oh yeah, I understand, I have to do that [ask other companies for money] at work and I know what you mean."

Then she asks me, “so how much do you want anyway?”

Well this is silly because I have not changed my rates or policy in the past year so she knows exactly what she would owe for four lessons.

I feel I may be at the end of my rope with this person. I could come down very hard on her and probably lose the student or I could keep tolerating this. I always get paid eventually, though I wonder if I would ever get paid if I didn’t repeatedly remind her. Sometimes she forgets her checkbook for a few weeks in a row.

This is a middle-aged woman with a PhD and steady job in the private sector. She takes several vacations per year to exotic locations, drives a nice car, owns a home.

I can only think that she is playing me. Other people have cash-flow problems and just let me know that they have a big expense that week or month and I don’t mind waiting a week or two or three, but to be kept in the lurch is getting on my nerves.

I’ll be seeing her in a few days and I don’t want to lose my cool. Any suggestions?
 
Annr
I have quite a bit of experience in collections and from what you are saying in this post is that she owes you quite a bit...my experience with this type of person is

1. she is using the exact type of excuses I have heard before. She KNOWS she owes you money so she is forgetting her checkbook on purpose. Besides she has no money in her check book and so she is using you for the bank. Unacceptable.

2. She will never pay on time ever again. She has set that precedent already and sadly being a nice person you have allowed it so your bills are now no longer a priority for her.

3. Remember a customer or a client or a student is not a customer until the BILLS ARE PAID, you are a teacher, not a bank or a collection agency. It is better to fill this time slot with a good paying student or leave it empty than to deal with this aggravation.


I would inform her ( in writing via Certified letter ) how much money she owes you and that you expect payment in full within two weeks. Also you regret to inform her that her lessons will be suspended until she pays her past balance and due to her poor payment history furthermore, you require payment for two lessons in advance at all times. Inform her that her lesson slot will be reserved for her until the due date. If payment is not received in full by the due date you will fill her slot with someone else and proceed collections in small claims court against her unless other payment arrangements are made.

Its the only way to deal with deadbeats..

Ren
 
Fill a short section of garden hose with lead shot. Seal the ends, and have a "friend" apply liberally to the knees of said student, while hissing "Remember, we must pay our bills!" through a ski mask.
 
Ann,
We know you are too kind hearted to jump on her, but Ren is right, she is using you. Do inform her that because of her past payment history, you will need to suspend her lessons until they are paid for and you have instituted a new policy of collecting 2 lessons in advance. She must be 2 in advance until you are notified of her intention to cease taking and at that time she can have her 2 last lessons. Then schedule a paying student (and get 2 in advance) Also, if student skips lesson, their bad, you are still paid and it counts as one as if they had taken it. You can always make exceptions with prior notification, ie: sickness, death in family, etc.

Your time is valuable, DO NOT GIVE IT AWAY!

Jim
 
Ren,
I agree 100% with #1-3 which is exactly why I am P.O.'ed.

The good news that that each check only has a value of $265. So I never get really screwed but that doesn't minimize the aggravation which seems to be more problematic than the money at this point.

I don't really want to lose the student as I teach one of the less common instruments and it is not as easy to recruit new students, but then I come back to "is it worth it?" and you pretty much covered that.:)

I had thought I might try a 'soft sell', i.e. lay out the rules in person, mentioning the points you made. I would pose the question "so how do you think we can resolve this?" I thought this might be warranted as this is a person-to-person relationship rather than a gas company to person relationship, although that is how she is treating me. If I don't have payment by the next lesson she won't have another.

I imagined anther way of handling the upfront unpleasantness was to send her a letter, contract, with my new penalties for not pre-paying: not holding lesson space and sending her home if she doesn't have the check. (There are no penalties now and regardless of the number of students scheduling is an issue.) She can assume that all students will get this letter. If she will not sign it then she has made the choice.

If she didn't produce at that point: go with written collection attempts, steps you outlined.

Waste of time?
 
annr said:
Waste of time?
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Probably the face to face will be better, if you want to keep her as a student. Payment up front is reasonable, too.
Send a letter, and you may never see her again. Letters are impersonal, and no matter how well worded, likely won't have a conciliatory tone. Some people(particularly ones like you describe that have no consideration for others) require this, since they tend to look for a reason to be offended by the people they treat like dirt, however ironic that may seem.

If you mean is she a waste of time, period...that depends on you. $265/mo. will pay my power bill, water bill, garbage pickup, car insurance, and phone line/DSL. That's one way of looking at it. On the other hand, the amount of crap I'd put up with from another person for $265/mo. is exactly zero.
 
James Todd said:
We know you are too kind hearted to jump on her, but Ren is right, she is using you.
Click to expand...


You are right I am a patient person and a softy, but I do carry a knife! We are known as the scrappers of the orchestra and I've been known to tell a conductor to "F--- off!", to the surprise of my colleagues. That, or something like it, is what I'm afraid that I 'll say to her.
 
OwenM said:
If you mean is she a waste of time, period...that depends on you. $265/mo. will pay my power bill, water bill, garbage pickup, car insurance, and phone line/DSL. That's one way of looking at it. On the other hand, the amount of crap I'd put up with from another person for $265/mo. is exactly zero.
Click to expand...

That is the dilema/trade-off right there. I'm ambivalent and that is my problem . I recognize that I may snap so I better get myself and the situation under my control.

Did you think that a general change in policy letter would be threatening or did you mean Ren's collection letter?

By waste of time I was wondering if I should bother to seek a resolution with her or just go straight to Ren's suggestion.
 
I agree with Ren here.She's taking advantage of you.

When I took guitar lessons(a long,long time ago:D),they required the payment for each lesson,BEFORE the lesson.I didn't think that was unreasonable at all.

Good luck Ann:thumbup:

I hate users & deadbeats:mad:
 
JTR357 said:
When I took guitar lessons(a long,long time ago:D),they required the payment for each lesson,BEFORE the lesson.I didn't think that was unreasonable at all.
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The schools where I teach charge for 16 lessons up front and have a very rigid attendance policy and she knows this. I strongly believe that my policy is reasonable but I sense that she resents it. She carries a real air of superiority.
 
I think you're on the right track. I'd just like to suggest making it as impersonal as possible. It's just business. Send a letter, let her assume everybody gets the same letter, and when she talks to you and asks you to make an exception for her just say no, that's the policy now. Don't argue with her; you would not enjoy that (and I suspect she would -- some people play games like that for the fun of it, whether or not they're short of money at all).
 
Ren is right. Furthermore, teaching her to pay her debts is a valuable lesson in itself--in addition to the subject matter.
 
There is the distinct possibility that this action will cause you to lose this student, who sounds like she is more trouble than she is worth. I would do this in an impersonal way, rather than face to face, in the hope that it would be less embarrassing for her. Even though she is in the wrong, I personally would go to great lengths to avoid embarrassing someone. You should tell her that you do value her as a student (whether or not it is true) but this is your bread and butter--so she should not take this personally. But that's just me.
 
You already know how effective talking to her is. Keep the talking to the lessons. Do business impersonally, formally, by mail.

I don't think you'll lose her as a student. She's got the money. She just likes to aggravate you over it. It isn't your responsibility that she hasn't got her checkbook with her. It's your responsibility to enforce your rules: Pay first, then lessons. Period.
 
shaldag said:
There is the distinct possibility that this action will cause you to lose this student, who sounds like she is more trouble than she is worth. I would do this in an impersonal way, rather than face to face, in the hope that it would be less embarrassing for her. Even though she is in the wrong, I personally would go to great lengths to avoid embarrassing someone. You should tell her that you do value her as a student (whether or not it is true) but this is your bread and butter--so she should not take this personally. But that's just me.
Click to expand...

Thank you. I want to consider every angle.

The student/teacher relationship in a private music lesson is a bit different from some other transactions. I know that I am frustrated and angry to a certain degree and I'm still asking "How would I like to be treated in this situation?" yet it strikes me that she should be embarrassed already, no?


I bet that for some people it would be possible to be 'impersonal' in person, i.e. matter of fact. But I'm not so sure in this instance given our personalities and my obvious lack of command here. I don't think that I will get long-term satisfaction by going nuclear either.

I'll add on top of it all, if I were to bet, I would say that she may not think that a musician is worth as much as we charge. Musicians are typically second-class citizens, from a tradition of servants. Remember, you will always go through the back door I was taught. For all I know she may make less per hour; there is some undercurrent of resentment that I can't explain, not that it excuses her behavior.
 
I'd typed a big long reply, but deleted it. This one is shorter, but I made up for it by concluding with some pleasurable pettiness.
That last paragraph you typed is all coming from you, even if it's about her, and it sounds like the resentment isn't one-sided.
If you don't really need the money, and it's going to eat you up having to deal with her even if she pays, I say get the money she already owes you and dump her.
And even if you don't admit it to anyone else, you can have the satisfaction of giving her a dose of her own medicine when the lowly music teacher dumps her because she doesn't meet your standards.
 
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