I was raised in Izmir, Turkey, the grandson of a self-made and well-to-do jeweler. We lived in a small flat overlooking the Mediterranean sea, and my grandfather spent equal amounts of time working at his shop in the city and in his personal workshop on the third floor of our home: which was locked with a key that he kept with him at all times. No one but my grandfather was allowed to enter the workshop; ever.
My grandmother and mother knew I was insatiably curious, and they warned me to stay out of grandpa's workshop because it was dangerous. Being the inquisitive and mischevious little turd that I was, I couldn't help but wonder why the workshop seemed to swallow up my grandfather for hours at a time whenever he came home. I decided I was going to find out. I took an old pocket knife and one of my grandmother's knitting needles and, while my parents were away at the market one afternoon, I went to work on breaking the lock.
It was a small, cluttered and well-used room that was rich with the sharp scent of ether and metal. There were tools that looked like torture devices, vials of all shapes and sizes filled with acid and metal cleaning solvents, rows upon rows of spectacles that my grandfather wore so that he could see the fine detail of his work...but the most noteworthy thing I found in that workshop were not the tools of my grandfather's trade, but rather the signs of his personal pursuits.
My grandfather was a stoic and private man, and he kept to himself even when he was at home. In his workshop, I found very old lithographs, linoleum block prints, drawings, and other artistic paraphernalia - and they were all signed by my grandfather. He was an artist, and a very passionate one from the looks of it. But he had never admitted it to anyone.
When my grandfather discovered that I had broken into his workshop, he was not angry (my mom and grandma sure were, though!). He sat me down and we talked at length about what I had found within. As a child, his father never gave him the luxury of pursuing his real passions, and even in his adulthood he sometimes felt ashamed of indulging in his personal pursuits. He was taught that only a life of studious discipline and duty for others was a life worth living - something he regretfully didn't have a chance to correct until much later in his life.
Years later, after we had moved to the U.S. and before my grandfather passed away, he gave me the key to his old workshop for my 16th birthday. We had lost the house in Turkey many years before that, but he kept the key as a remembrance. When he gave me the key, he told me the conclusion he had reached about his work and his passions. He said:
Passion without discipline is whimsical and short-sighted - it cannot stay dedicated to a task long enough to accomplish anything of value. Discipline without passion is nothing more than soulless toil, and it robs a man of the two most important components of any trade - creativity and pride. In order to be happy, you must nurture your passion and your discipline together.
When he died, I hid the key. It was a painful reminder of how much he had suffered in his death, and I didn't want to see it ever again.
In my late teens and early twenties, I squandered my time pursuing goals that I thought were my own, but in reality were prescribed to me by others. I was out of touch with what I really wanted from life, and without that clarity I lacked the ability to remain focused. Confused and disillusioned, I graduated with a degree I cared nothing for and moved to Los Angeles where I took a job that flayed my soul day in and day out. It wasn't until I found my grandfather's old key again that his words returned to me, and I realized what I had been doing wrong for six years.
Now, I am back in school studying computer science while working full-time at a job that pays less, but which fulfills me like no other job I've ever had. I don't keep the key hidden anymore either. I wear it around my neck every single day as a reminder of the two things every man needs in order to be happy and dutiful.
The two things that I value most.
Passion and discipline.
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EDIT: What an awesome gesture. I love swag, so I'll definitely sport a DDR t-shirt! My t-shirt size is large. Many thanks, HTM crew.