have any of you quit drinking?

S

SkaerE

Joined
Sep 9, 2001
Messages
428
i know this is a strange topic for this forum but i feel like a lot of you guys are good friends....

i keep coming back to this question in my life.

i spent a year in college...failed out, drank too much (but really wasnt ready for college)

i spent several years in the military (US Army, Scout)...drunk a lot, still did my job though...it was kinda expected that you'd drink a lot.

but i fear i may have drank too much.

im back in college now...but this time the Army's flittin the bill ;)

my wife pretty much stopped me from drinking more lately, and really...i thank her. my brain works on a noticiably faster level now. its great! really. i have a lot of alcoholism in both sides of my family, so much in fact that my sister refuses to ever try alcohol...

but have any of you just give up on drinking? i try, but i eventually fall back into it, even for a night or so. i would love to give it up completely. i really would. but i seem to have a hard time.

do any of you have any good tips? im not going to go to AA meetings or anything like that, because i really dont believe i am an alcoholic, hell...nowadays i prolly drink once a month tops...but that one time, if its there, ill drink it.

maybe its an impulse control problem? who knows...

anybody else? i hate to dump this on you guys, but ive got to talk to someone about it.

thanks
 
My friend, and I say that with confidence because I remember you with kind words to me in past threads here. I mean this -- you have got a lot of confidence in us here and you are obviously, to me at least, reaching out for helpful advise. I think you brave and mature for this.

I first got drunk on my 16th birthday by my youngest uncle who helped me to fake my age at a local corner bar. I shall never forget how glad I was to have done it and how sad I was the next day from sickness of head and stomach. I have from that time to now developed a severe resistance to drinking in so much as I can drink as much as the day will allow and not get sick or even the least bit hung over from all I can consume. It is shameful of me and though I have never allowed this to interfer with my day job it has not been helpful at all in my after hours personal life.

What inspires me about your post is that you indicate a desire to better yourself. I do not feel you will have much trouble in this so long as you keep a conviction to do so. A 'conviction' is a very strong feeling. It is a feeling that compares to risking ones own life for that of another. It seems from your writting you are rather young yet (you speak of college and such). Let an older man give a younger man a bit of advise, please. Follow your desire. If you value your lady greater than your drink take happiness in her and give up that which hurts and truely displeases her.

Please email me if you like. I will call you if you like if you wish to give me your phone number. We are caring friends for one another here and I am only one of us. May God bless you and yours.

EDIT: You ask for tips. Here is one, and do not think me a bible thumper. I am regretably not. Jesus our Lord came to us for one major purpose: to rescue the keys of Hell so that our promise from him of free choice could be kept. It is with him there is always an ear to listen if we truely believe. It is many times difficult to TRUELY believe (remember my description of 'conviction'?).

Roger
 
It isn't how often you drink or how much you drink that makes you an alcoholic.
It's what it does to you.
 
AA meetings help. As they say "One day at a time". Tell your self you are just not going to drink today. My problem is one is to many and then ten isn't enough. The also have a saying to start your day off with that you may find helpful, it goes something like this. Oh, Great Spirit, grant me the serenity to accept things I can not change, the courage to change things that I can and the wisdom to know the defference. Good Luck
 
Maybe this will help and maybe it won't...
I don't drink. I never have. I've tried things here and there, but I've never been drunk in my life, I've never even drank enough to feel the effects of alcohol.
Through friends and school, and now some family, I'm pretty well surrounded by it though. It would be very easy to start.
The thing that stops me is always making myself find something better to do. I have my shop where I can make knives, carve, and do all kinds of stuff. I've also got mountains of work to do out at the barn with my horses. So when the opportunity comes up to go to a party or something where I know the basic theme for the night will be to get drunk, I stay home. I'll ride my horse, work on a knife, browse BFC, or any number of things.
I think you just need to find something you like better, or at least something to keep busy so that you don't fall back to it. When the next day rolls around you'll feel a lot better. And it will keep getting better, unlike drinking where you can releive some stress, or blow off some steam, but the next day you just feel sick on top of whatever your problems were before.
And when you do go out with friends, cut loose, cause trouble or goof off however you want without drinking. I've never found any shortage of trouble to get myself into (mostly good natured)without being drunk, and the next day I really don't have any regrets because I knew exactly what I was doing.
Just pick up the pace on your knifemaking, and stick to your guns on not drinking. You'll make it.
 
twenty years ago or so I found that having just a couple of drinks would make me very sick. A friend said that it was probably alcohol poisoning I was experiencing. I totally quite for many years and now drink very little and not often. You do not have to be a drunk to have a serious problem. I have a son in law who is now a total abstainer. If you would have asked him he never had a drinking problem however his wife had a problem with his drinking. I believe you are facing the tough part of your problem and that is to admit you have one.I believe your next step is to realize that if A.A. can help even for that once a month thing, why not get the help? If you are unable to quit completely on your own as you say then why not reach for some more experienced help such as A.A. would be able to provide. We all have had our own demons to deal with at one time or another. How we handle them decides which way our life goes in the future. I won't wish you luck but rather I will hope you continue on your journey to overcome your present problem. Frank Niro
 
Just got home from a great AA speaker meeting,no drinking for me now for 17 years, but a lot of people are loosing money, like lawers,courts, hospitals and shrinks, Iam having fun now!!!!!!!!!!!!!! George
 
tell ya what, you guys are great.

ive been able to contain it lately because when i do drink i only buy a 6 pack, then im done. i dont go looking for more, but if its there ill drink it. my army days would see at least 12 go down 7 nights a week.

i think it really is an impulse control problem.

Matt: your right, if i have anything better to do, i do it instead, i only drink when i get bored. course, all my life bored=bad :)

Indian George: sounds like you have the same deal, 1 is too many, 10 isnt enough. my wife and i read that and both thought it nailed it right on the head. - about your email, sounds like a good idea.

Rlinger: i do want to better myself, and i'd like to keep a happy marriage. the only times we've ever had problems was from my drinking. (aside from small things of course) im a pretty lousy drunk sometimes. dont get me wrong, i would never lay a hand on my wife, but im a dumbass sometimes and say stoopid things. alcohol has done nothing but screw with me. hell, even after i finish drinking i wonder why i did it. its very strange. of course the same thing happens when i eat too many homemade cookies ;) poor impulse control :)

all in all, guess i just got to refocus my attentions on other things. thats one of the reasons i started coming here anyhow, looking for a hobby. this one has the added benefit of being dangerous to attempt drunk. and i know i like knifemaking more than boozing.

thanks fellas. i just needed some good folks to talk to last night and i appreciate the help.
 
I think you took the biggest step.
You admitted, to yourself, that you are ready to change.
That is HUGE.

Now comes conviction, determination & the one day at a time motto.
It really works.


4 1/2 years for me.
And the best part is that I had to stop and do the math!
I'm finally past the point of knowing the number of months, weeks, days & hours ;)
I used pain therapy :eek:
I blew up my ankle 'cause Jim Beam had me trapesing around the woods in the dark with my flash light off. I think he stuck out his leg...that was the last straw.
Soooooo, when I wanted a drink I'd kinda step on that foot a little ;)

One more thought. Alot of dealing with addiction (IMHO) is dealing with routine. My wife would light a ciggy right after she'd start the car. I'd leave work and head straight across the street to the deli for a tall boy. Get home and head for the fridge...stuff like that.

And if you want a little more incentive, do the math for your yearly drinkin costs. Include tips.
That much dinero could be a fine new knife!
Good luck, my e-mail is listed.
Wally
There is another related thread in community, a search should turn it up.
 
SkaerE

Sounds to me like you have a head start on licking this problem. This November I will have been 20 years without a drink. I stopped drinking in a whiskey store of all places. I drank every day of my life for more years than I can remember. When I got up that morning quiting drinking was the farthest thing from my mind. I honestly believe God turned me around. I have given thanks to Him many times that I never hurt or killed anyone because of driving while drinking. I thank my wife for getting me started knifemaking to take the place of alcohol. It is amazing how fast money will pile up when it is not going to the local package store. I now find that I do not have time to drink even if I wanted to. I have been asked several times if I wished I had all the money back that I wasted while drinking. No, not a penny. I sure wish I had all the wasted time back though. I can probably never make up for the neglect to my family back then but I sure am glad I still have them. The good reasons for not drinking are far to numerous to list in this forum. Please feel free to email me if you ever need to talk about this. GOOD LUCK!

By the way, I have not had a hangover in nearly 20 years either and the only headaches have been from grinding oosic.:D
 
Remember, if you still have a problem stopping, A.A.
has been around for a long time. They will be there when
you are ready. Simple, but not easy. Aug 15, 2000 was
my last drunk.
Paul
 
I drank heavy for a long time …way past the point where I’d drank all the fun out of it. I always thought I was one of the lucky ones … “I’m sure I’m some kind of alcoholic but I’m glad I can handle it … I’m not like that guy over there … face down in his beer or some wino sucking on a paper bag and sleeping in a dumpster”. I guess that’s what I wanted REAL alcoholics to look like. Like you, I had a bunch of folks on both sides of my family that drank heavy and as a kid I thought drinking was just one of the advantages of growing up. I never got a DUI or ended up in jail or any of the stuff I thought would mark me as an alcoholic that “couldn’t handle it”. (Only because I never got caught I assure you!) I did drink just about every day … not go on a binge once in a while. I learned not to drink much around people I worked with or anyone that “counted”. (Even when they drank way too much!) I might have had one or two and then go home and finish the job by myself with another 6 or 8 belts. I finished college, managed to get and hold down a good job and proceed with life. I wasn’t very good with relationships though. I had a series of long term monogamous (and some not so monogamous) relationships with women. Sooner or later things got ugly enough and down the drain they went. I never saw any of the crap that just seemed to keep happening in my life as having anything to do with alcohol. Alcohol was just part of the deal … like breathing, eating and sleeping … it never occurred to me to quit. I was in a very passionate and stormy relationship that was circling the drain. The roller coaster of emotions was killing me and I didn’t know how to cope with it. Booze was always part of the answer before but it wasn’t helping this time. I was at the end of a very thin rope and still never considered getting off the sauce. Finally someone I trusted told me to go to AA … that I needed help with the drinking and that I couldn’t cope with this mess with a clouded mind. Thankfully I listened. How are you going to fix the mind you got with the mind you got? It still took a while to dig my brain out from under all that but at least it turned into an uphill battle instead of a downhill slide. Turns out that the only answer to my drinking is a bunch of other drinkers! No one in AA has ever asked me if I’m an alcoholic …that’s completely up to me. As a matter of fact everything in AA is completely up to me. Basically it’s a bunch of people that share things that have worked (or not worked) for them. I’ve picked up some of the tools offered there and decided what works for me. I’ve picked up a few that I put back right where I found them too! Maybe the best thing I’ve found there is a complete lack of BS. Nobody has ever tried to blow a bunch of smoke up my pants leg. I may have decided that the person was just flat wrong but at least they truly believed what they were saying. Like others have said here it’s one day at a time for me. I don’t have to worry about drinking other than not having one before I go to bed tonight. Personally I think that sobriety is a gift from a higher power but there are plenty of folks in AA that are agnostic or atheist and maintain sobriety. “No beliefs required.” I can check all that at the door too. Impulse control? …Maybe … I’ve never thought about it in those terms. I like to think about it more like an allergy …if I drink my life breaks out in disaster! Length of sobriety is nice but kind of irrelevant too. If I get loaded today I’m back where I was. Besides that if I drink today I must have been leading up to it for a while … what was I ignoring that made me drink? There might be something out there that could get me drunk but not today. If I don’t trip on that “something” between now and June 17th it will be 20 years since I got loaded. Thanks for your honesty and open-mindedness in bringing this to the table here. I truly appreciate this opportunity. I haven’t thought about my whole “chronology” in a while and this did me a lot of good. Please get hold of me if you want to.
Best of luck!
Hamp
 
Good response, Hamp.
I didn't realize there were so many of us on this board. thanks bruce
 
SkaerE:

I wish you the best in conquering your demon. The hardest part I found was admitting I was out of control. With the support of my friends, the rest was easier.

It gladdens my heart to see such a positive response from this community. I have seen so many bulletin board services that would not offer this type of support; some would even go as far as to belittle the poster for straying from the topic.

To all that have given support, I applaud you.

Joe
 
"...way past the point where I'd drank all the fun out of it."


Man that is it in a nutshell.

Thanx guys, I don't feel so alone now :)
 
Stopping drinking is the first step. Dealing with the denial and the disease is where AA will save your butt. You need good tools to make a fine knife. You need the tools that AA provides to get well and stay well.
My advice-get yourself in the program and stick with it. The rewards will exceed your wildest expectations.
 
Lots of really good replies here.You never know where your going to meet people who have faced the same problems.I will say this openly and with no shame,I am an alcoholic.I drank alcoholicly for more than twenty years and when I had finally reached the end I had one foot in the grave.I say this because to not say it in response to your post would be a denial as to who and what I am.As horrible as my past was do to drinking I do not regret it because today it is one of my greatest assets.If there is ANYTHING I can say of my past that would prevent anyone else from going through the living hell that was my life I will gladly say it.Feel free to e-mail me if you like.I will also give you phone number if you would like to talk.Alcoholism takes on many forms, from the round the clock drinker as I was, to to the occaisional or binge drinker.Its not what you drink or how much you drink but how the drinking affects your life.Anyone Can stop drinking, staying stopped is the hard part,this is something I could not do on my own. Please don't close your mind to groups such as AA.I have been sober now for 11 years and life has never been better.You've taken a big first step,admitting there may be a problem,and expressing a desire to stop.Good luck to you.
 
I guess many people are fortunate to be able to drink a few and stop. I am not one of those people. I achieve a state of mind I like to call the purple zone. I can drink 10 people under the table and look for more. It's strange but I never really considered myself to be an alcoholic. I suppose therein lies the problem. We justify things in our minds to make it okay. I have ruined relationships with women, friends and family because of the occasional bender. I can go for weeks and not touch a drop and just for no particular reason, "whammo". I wake up on a radio tower in a chicken suit and wonder how I got there. Not having that first drink is the easiest way to stay out of trouble for me. Changing behavior is a hard thing to do. It's like others have observed that it is trying to break a pattern that's the hard part. Good luck in your journey.

Mark
 
Yeah, I gave it up for a long time when my drinking had gotten out of control. It was hard for the first couple of months, but I found new ways to spend time and money. If you stay away from places that serve, as simple as it sounds, you will have a harder time making excuses on why you should drink. I didn't go to AA, but it does work. I also didn't do it alone, and that made it easier. Good luck.
 
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