Help us write a article on the "Memorial"

indian george

indian george

Joined
Feb 15, 1999
Messages
11,566
Guys and Gals, I am looking for your opinions and inputs on the article that we will be writing, the title “A Memorial to Their Recently Departed”.
1: What do you guys think of the title?
2: Should we include the length of time that Helen and Donna was ill??? Donna was ill for the past 5 years and Helen was for 6 years.
3: I like the comparison that Bruce V. posted.
”The movie the Red Violin is based on a similar theme. The violin maker's wife dies in childbirth, and as an expression of his grief, before she is buried he takes a brush made with her hair and mixes her blood with the varnishes and dyes they violin with it. The act seems to impart unequaled uniqueness to the violin.”
4. Add the link to the YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40n2UWNmSPA
All pro’s and con’s will be appreciated.
Thanks Folks.
 
Last edited:
I saw that movie one Christmas with our family. It was very touching. I havent been around ashes before but I would surely cherish a blade that contained the dna of my beloved.
 
Did you ever come up with a name?

You could call it "Two Sentimental Loves EDC"

You know? one for the wife and one for the knives?

Good luck on your article also.

Take care.

Todd


.
 
George,
Simple titles are far better. I like ,"A MEMORIAL". Your title is good, but it is a wise literary tactic to pique the readers interest without giving much info.

Sometimes details are better left as simple statements.
Take the two following examples:
1) She died after 6 months in the ICU.
2) She died after a lengthy and debilitating illness.

Number one takes the reader away from the subject and re-directs them to the ICU and a clock. The subject is lost.
Number two keeps the focus on the subject with the explanation returning the focus to the subject. It carries the impact far more intensely,too.

Movies , like "The Red Violin", are too filled with hype and drama. They will detract from the real life impact of your memorial.
I would , instead, reference to the tradition of cutting locks of hair from the dead and braiding them into watch fobs and/or putting them into lockets worn daily to keep the loved one near. (I have my Elliott ancestors family bible, with the pigtails and locks from nine of their children that died from Typhus and Typhoid. )
Throughout the ages people have done many things that are bizarre to others....all in the desire to retain some link to a loved one. Mummification; death masks; and even baking the ashes into a bread and having the family unit (tribe) eat it ( South American rain forest natives).
The two of you have made a tribute personalized by your skills and your desire to tie together the things that gave life a purpose....Hellen and Donna....and making knives by hand.

Hats off two both of you.
Stacy
 
Stacy has several good points. However I do think that some mention of the total time they were ill and you were sole/main caregivers would be appropriate.
 
Hi IG,

I have written two novels and had several articles published, in addition to academic writing I'm currently engaged in. Thus, I feel I can weigh in and give you some pointers. I'm not sure what your writing background is, but here are a few important things to consider when writing for large publishers and local newspapers.

First off, you need to ask yourself who the audience is. Rather, who will you be submitting the article to? That will dictate the content, which you can arrange around your lovely wife, god rest her sole.

For example, if you submit it to a knife magazine and your writing mostly focuses on your wife and less about the knife making process, they will probably deny it. If a blade, gun, or outdoor magazine is your goal, you want to mention your wife early in the article, perhaps with a little background of how long she was ill, but not too much. Readers of guy magazines will want to read about guy stuff, etc.

There are thousands of magazines out there, including your local newspaper, that will be interested in telling their readers about the entire story, including the knife making - minus too many technical details.

I recommend you write your article first, that way you tell the story that you want/need to let the world know. This will make the words flow from your heart to the page. Write first and worry about publication later - I've learned the hard way, as I've tried to write for specific audiences only to find out that my article didn't fit the magazine's planned themes.

You will only have one shot for each publisher that you submit your article to; therefore, your article must be perfect when you send it to them. The first impression is everything, so focus on an explosive introduction to draw them in. After you've edited and then re-edited several more times, making sure your prose is as polished as a new brass guard, you can submit it to the magazine or newspaper of your choice.

Also, the youtube link can be mentioned in a tag line at the end of the article, so don't include it in the body of your article.

I hope that helps. I would be happy to edit your article for you after you've dabbled with the first draft, so you can get some pointers that may help you ensure it gets published. Then, I'd also be happy to give it a final look over, if you like.


Good luck,

Brook
 
Last edited:
bjalongi said:
IG,

Got your friend request. Thanks. You're my first friend [on bladeforums that is :)]
Click to expand...

Brook,

Oh crap - I feel for you now man - :rolleyes:
He's going to have ya eat'n that hot sauce... :eek:
Banging out knives, playing with fire and just plain cut'n up like a crazy person...:D
Your life just won't be the same now.... :D:thumbup: have fun.

Todd


.
 
bigal2me said:
Brook,

Oh crap - I feel for you now man - :rolleyes:
He's going to have ya eat'n that hot sauce... :eek:
Banging out knives, playing with fire and just plain cut'n up like a crazy person...:D
Your life just won't be the same now.... :D:thumbup: have fun.

Todd


.
Click to expand...

Todd, you are on the list too.:eek::eek:;):D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top