Hiking partner's fitness not great

bulgron

bulgron

Joined
May 19, 2005
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So I've got a conundrum. I'll be doing a week-long hike in the Sierra Nevada next month. At age 49, I know better than to just get up from my keyboard, strap on a pack, and go wandering around at 8,000 feet and higher. To this end, I've engaged in a fairly varied fitness routine. Mind you, I'm not trying to get a hard body, or set any land speed records. But I would like to be comfortable enough to enjoy my stroll in the mountains.

Here's my problem: my hiking partner is 10 years older than me, and in worse shape. I don't see him very often, but from emails I had thought he was working out to at least the same degree as me. But we went on a hike together last weekend where I quickly realized that my assumptions were false. The guy just isn't doing anything, and it shows.

Now, do I just go with the flow and let him be miserable next month (thereby, possibly, causing our hike to be cut short), or do I nag him about getting into some kind of shape? On the one hand, I'm kind of worried that he might hurt himself. On the other, I REALLY don't feel like being a den mother.

Things like this is why I usually, instinctively, want to hike solo.

Your thoughts?
 
I'm usually only so-so about gauging my own friend's reactions in a situation like this, so I'd never pretend to know how best to deal with your friend. All I can do is agree with you in that I, too, much prefer going alone. I don't ever turn on my phone when I'm out, as the ability for the world to reach me when I'm out in the middle of nowhere would completely negate the purpose of getting to the middle of nowhere. Likewise, a hiking buddy can almost always be counted on for meandering conversation when I was hoping to listen to the Majesty surrounding me instead.

You might be able to engage it softly:
"Boy, I've been trying to get ready for our upcoming trip and I tell ya, I ain't as young as I used to be! I hope I'm in good enough shape when it's time..." and just leave it there. If it doesn't sound like something directed at him, he may pay more attention; much like communicating with a teenager.
 
Wow I have the exact same problem almost every time I backpack and have since I was 15 and now I'm 32.

I have found that it is really hard to find a backpacking buddy that is the same speed or fitness as you. Everyone has their own speed. I would probably ask him if he really knew how hard it was going to be next month and see what he says.

Then decide or let him decide if he really wants to go. Others probably have better suggestions though.
 
I would probably ask if he knows how far we are going, over what type of terrain and see if he realizes what's in store for him. If not, then maybe that will push him to get into shape. If not, fly solo like I do.
 
If I were you, I'd poke & prod at the guy to go & get a physical first. Go from there. If he's 59..in bad shape..& hiking at a high elevation, that's a strong recipe for a heart-attack!

B2D..
 
I just turned 45 and see that I am starting to slow down from aches and pains and old injuries. Safety is a serious thing to me if you want to be out for a spell. Any more life just isn't about me, got a wife and 2 young kids I am responsible for. Is the risk worth it. I am all for getting out and about, but don't know if I can swing through the boonies like Tarzan anymore. Just come out and say how important the safety aspect of you hike is, Can you make it? I have High bp and am good at taking meds and have it under control. Will this person have a stroke or heart attack and leave you to drag his ass out? may want to see about renting a satellite phone for the trip or one of the tracer/ tracker things you have to push the button on every now and then to show you are A O K, or have a distress signal if thing fall apart( they are advertised in Backpcker mag) You want to have fun, but you don't want to be a travel nurse either.

Lots to consider, better to hurt some feelings now and be in touch with reality. than find your self in an ultimate wake up call.
 
bored2deth said:
If I were you, I'd poke & prod at the guy to go & get a physical first. Go from there. If he's 59..in bad shape..& hiking at a high elevation, that's a strong recipe for a heart-attack!

B2D..
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Yes, this is a big concern of mine. The struggle is what to do about it without hurting his pride, and so damaging our friendship. Unfortunately, I can't just ease it into the conversation because I don't see him face to face very often. Any nagging I do is going to be via email, and I'm not sure how to pull it off without being condescending.
 
omniviking said:
may want to see about renting a satellite phone for the trip or one of the tracer/ tracker things you have to push the button on every now and then to show you are A O K, or have a distress signal if thing fall apart( they are advertised in Backpcker mag) You want to have fun, but you don't want to be a travel nurse either.
Click to expand...

I have a Personal Locator Beacon from ACR. (I call it my "Big Red Button of Shame".) Still, $400 and 8 oz is cheap insurance. There have been one too many stories about people who died in the back country, when something like a PLB would have saved their bacon.

I'm also thinking about bringing my HAM radio hand held, although I don't know if it would have any real utility in the back country (I just don't see any repeaters in that part of the world).
 
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Really nothing prepares your body for a hike other than previous hikes. Maybe get all your gear together and do a series of day hikes with him on the weekends before this trip.
 
Tyronethepro said:
I would probably ask if he knows how far we are going, over what type of terrain and see if he realizes what's in store for him. If not, then maybe that will push him to get into shape. If not, fly solo like I do.
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Well, this is the really irritating thing about the situation. When I started planning a backpacking trip into the mountains, I was thinking about doing 10 miles a day, and spending plenty of time napping, playing with my camera, and just gazing at far & distant vistas. Then my friend got involved, and all of a sudden it was 15 miles a day, with massive elevation gains along the way. He picked the route, so he very much should know what he's getting into.

My second problem is that he got the backcountry permit, and I don't know if he thought to put my name down as one of the leaders. This might mean that if he doesn't go, then neither do I.

I've learned some things from this experience, believe me.

Still, the good news is that nothing says we HAVE to go do 15 miles a day. Maybe once on a the trail, reality will settle in, and he'll be content to hang out by some lake fishing instead of trying to do way too many miles and elevation for his age & physical conditioning.
 
meismjg said:
Really nothing prepares your body for a hike other than previous hikes. Maybe get all your gear together and do a series of day hikes with him on the weekends before this trip.
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We've already been doing that, although not as often as we should have. We're both busy people. Still, our trip into the Sierras last weekend was, hopefully, a wake up call for him. What I want to do is start asking him how his workout routines are going. I just don't know how to do it without being an ass about it.
 
This doesn't sound like a great situation to me. Take a few minutes to really think about how it would be to be up there with an incapacitated person. Then I think it's pretty clear that either you need to go on a less demanding hike or else he needs to get in shape. One or the other. Feelings, etiquette, and even your friendship with him are all secondary.

I would probably just put it on myself and say that I am wondering if I am up to it ... use that as a segue to ask about his fitness. My questions would just assume that of course it is not an option to go into that hike without being in good shape. Then it's on him to bring up the idea that it's okay to go on the hike in poor shape.
 
swamp said:
Wow I have the exact same problem almost every time I backpack and have since I was 15 and now I'm 32.
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I'm seriously thinking about starting a backpacking club for middle aged people. Think of it as Boy Scouts for old farts. Everyone should meet twice a month throughout the year to discuss their physical fitness routine, and to practice camping skills. Do a weekend trip at least once a quarter all year long. And one good week long outing every summer.

The only problem is finding 3 - 5 other people who are interested and willing to commit the time to do it right.
 
That doesn't sound like a happy situation. My wife and I hike together regularly (and will again soon as I recover from a hip replacement two weeks ago), so we're pretty even. (OK, she's way ahead of me this year and I'll have to work like mad to catch up.) We hiked the Chilkoot Trail a few years ago with several friends, one of whom made it hard on everyone else because she was badly out of shape. Another aspect is comparable equipment: when one member of a party has an inadequate tent/sleeping bag/boots/cooking gear, that puts a burden on everyone else.
 
How brutally honest can you be with him? Everyone I hike with knows that I can be straight to the point. I would tell him that after seeing his performance on your hike, you have genuine concerns about his ability to do the planned trip. There are three options: you go alone, he does a crash course to get into better shape (one month of hard activity can make up for a lot), or you settle on Plan B, which would be fewer miles and less vertical each day.

I have been on trips where someone was not up to it, and they always have to end with someone cutting the trip short. It is better to honestly address it now rather than let things continue as they are and face significant disappointment on your first or second day on the trail.
 
I represent the old, out of shape group (64, 300 lbs). In my younger, lighter, days I have done numerous serious hikes. Not any more. You need to be honest with your hiking partner about your concerns and your expectations. It wont be fun or easy telling him, but it is better than heart attack or a stranded hiker.
 
Yeah, pride is an issue--I have a friend similar to yours--he's 55, severely over-weight (he weighs in at around 260-270, has bad knees, & bad back), & he thinks he's in good shape..
he also tends to be hurt easily by words. He often goes hunting by himself, carrying about forty or fifty pounds of crap with him, and in a regular old back pack (no support). He could
easily get himself into a nasty bind. Yeah, hurt feelings can damage a friendship, often very badly. There is no easy way to ease it into the conversation. In all honesty, the only way
I can come up with:Get a physical yourself, tell him about it & your concerns for your own health...that may shock some reality into his system. I've done similar things to people--i.e. a cousin whom was trying to emulate me as a power-lifter & taking on far more than he could handle. At his age, well, at his level of fitness (age isn't really the problem, it's fitness), at that elevation & physical stress, it could very likely and very easily provoke a heart attack. The higher the elevation, the thinner the oxygen, the greater the stress.

Also, you should take into consideration:high elevation, just the two of you, rescue likely a considerable distance away.. It could go badly if a heart attack were to occur...very badly. All in all, and I'm not saying this out of meanness, but maybe you should find yourself a hiking-partner more akin to your level of fitness, as your friend does not seem to understand
clearly enough the dangers of stressing himself.

Also, as a power-lifter and martial-artist, I feel I should tell you, gains can often be made well enough without pushing one's self to the limit. I often train at a comfortable level for myself which is about 70% of the max I used to use. After a nasty accident (a 305 pound barbell came crashing down on my chest, I was all alone, & could have easily been killed),
I saw that I had pushed to far & too hard. It wasn't worth it. Personally, I've made gains at using 50-60% maximum using 8 reps per set. I train harder than that, but that's what I
am comfortable with (I won't go into detail). Slow & steady wins the race...

I hope everything goes well for you and your friend :)

B2D..
 
I was in a similar situation last summer, except I was the more unfit hiker, and much younger than my partner. We picked a trail that was 'easier'. Because of the terrain (countless ups and downs), a five mile trail would actually be longer. We set shorter daily hikes, rested every hour. Instead of going 42 miles in 5 days, we went ( I think) 24.

I will point out I was hiking with my 69 year old father, so there was no way in hell that i wasn't going to do something with him. I also did work on my fitness (the ten minute workout - love it for busy people). What did me in was my legs. My cardio was fine. The first 2 days were hell, because I had forgotten how to walk up a mountain. At the end of the second day, if I could have just called a taxi, well...

But 2 days in, and we still have 2 days back to the start or 3 days to the finish, it actually got easier. My legs got adjusted, I listened and did everything my Dad said about walking, we adjusted and didn't walk as far, and I wanted to do it.

Now when I think about what I did to get in 'shape' and what my 69 year father does, if your friend isn't somewhere between the two of us, you're in trouble. My suggestion is to pick an easier trail, or don't take him.
 
Okay, you guys convinced me to take the bull by the horns. I just sent my friend an email talking about what I did for training today, and asking him how his training schedule is going. I HOPE what he says is that he's going gang-busters. Well see ....
 
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