Hiking partner's fitness not great

The one thing I have learned over the years of doing adventure races, marathons and ultramarathons with friends of mine is that you have to keep things brutally real from the onset. If you two are supposed to hike together, stay together and count on one another if things unexpectedly go south then you both are obligated to be in the best possible shape you can be in barring unforeseen circumstances like a training injury. You have been doing your part to get ready for this adventure and your partner should have been doing the same. Runners deal with this all the time when you get someone who wants to train with you to run a marathon but won't put in the hard work to stay at the agreed upon pace and then on race day expects you to stick with them at a much slower pace. Tell your partner that the hills won't get any less steep and the pack won't get any lighter no matter how much he doesn't train. After this trip I would choose your partner(s) very carefully the next time you agree to spend the time and money on the next grand adventure. Best of luck.
 
Honesty will get you further then not saying anything or saying something to hurt his feelings. Explain that he will not have any fun either and your worried about yourself enough-so you are concerned therefore for his well being. Same thing accomplished for you-and you do not in any way seem like a jerk or, 'mother hen.' Been to the area once where your going and its quite amazing. Hope you have the trip of your lives. Just my .02!
 
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Most of my backpacking experience is in the relative flats and way down inside the treeline.

Of my two most immediate concerns, the issue of water has already been raised. Sounds like you've got that one pretty well covered. It's worth pointing out, however, that at these higher elevations, you will require more water than you're accustomed to. Your friend who's out of shape will require even more still.

My other concern has to do with the trailhead elevation for this hike. If the trail begins at a lower elevation, say around the 6500' mark where you two did your training hike, then your bodies will obviously have a little more time to acclimate to higher elevations as you ascend. On the other hand, if you're at 8000' or 8500' right out of the gate, then I'd demand a reduced pace for the first day or two. This is as much for your protection as his. The fittest guys in the world can get in trouble if they start exerting themselves too heavily, too quickly at too high an altitude.

Beyond that, I would just recommend subscribing to the old adage about the benefits of preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. Know going in that flexibility will be the key to your enjoyment on this venture. Lower your expectations to the point where simply getting your friend home alive after any length of time on the trail is viewed as a major success. Doing so before you've even started is a bit of a bummer I know, but at this stage of the game, unless he lives in Denver or Flagstaff, he wouldn't be able to accomplish much of significance in a month anyways. You're a very smart guy and I can't imagine you would countenance having abject morons for friends. With any luck your buddy's intelligence will overcome his ego and you guys will be able to settle in to a pleasant, sustainable pace for the duration of your outing.
 
I think everyone has got it right. I'm 50 and keep a pretty good pace but now the altitude is getting to me a little more than it used to. I've learned to drop the pack weight to around 30 lbs or less and take it slower. Now I stop more often, take more photos and shoot some video when I get tired. It helps me catch my breath and I seem to enjoy it more. You might also try scaling back your mileage a little or plan an easy day in the middle of the trip or even a layover day to fish or Do a short dayhike from a base camp. No matter what you do just remember that it still beats the he'll out of going to work and count your blessings that you are still physically able to get out and enjoy the wllderness.

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How brutally honest can you be with him? Everyone I hike with knows that I can be straight to the point. I would tell him that after seeing his performance on your hike, you have genuine concerns about his ability to do the planned trip. There are three options: you go alone, he does a crash course to get into better shape (one month of hard activity can make up for a lot), or you settle on Plan B, which would be fewer miles and less vertical each day.

I have been on trips where someone was not up to it, and they always have to end with someone cutting the trip short. It is better to honestly address it now rather than let things continue as they are and face significant disappointment on your first or second day on the trail.

I completely agree with this approach.

What is the point of walking on eggshells to protect someone's ego when their life and yours could be at risk? And what kind of friend is he if he'd get upset at you for being concerned for his safety?

Be straight-up about this. It's the best way. This is just too important to worry about hurt feelings.

Plus, he's an adult -- AND he's got 10 years of wisdom on you ;) -- he should be able to deal.
 
What is more important to you, your buddy or the hike?

If it the former, you can set up a base camp at a reasonable location and run longer unencumbered day hikes from there. Your buddy can either go with you on the day hikes or stay at base depending on how well he is holding up; and, you can still enjoy a nice camp fire together. If it is the latter, then it is time to find another hiking buddy.

I saw this happen with my old man, who has continued hunting with his old buddies until it became more about nursing then hunting. But, the guys still enjoyed these trips as much as they ever did. As their bodies grew weaker their stories grew longer and they learned to accept the present with good humor.

It is an unfortunate fact that we all age, and if your buddy looks weaker then perhaps its time to take a good look in the mirror. Even, if you are feeling strong, it will take that much longer to recover from a thorough pounding. To paraphrase a friend who recently attended a high school reunion after 30+ years, he said they all looked like crap, then it struck him that he probably didn't look as he once did either.

n2s
 
Im 40 , bad back , asthma , allergic to among other stuff deodorants and tobacco smoke .
I have near no choice but to hike solo :P

I learned early that it sucks to be holding people back , and it sucks to be sick because of other people , the ones getting annoyed at you for holding them back . bad situation all round

yeah it hurts to hear that youre not welcome cos youre not up to it , and it did make me think different about the people who told it to me I feel nowhere near as close as I did to them , or inclined to offer help etc when I see the need now . Its not that I like them less really .. I do tend to treat others as they treat me tho .

I still go the places I want to , more dangerous cos its solo , but I dont have a lot of choice .. I just take more care , go my own pace , take my time and to be honest , the bush talks to you more when youre alone I think
 
carry ur buddy, :) no but keep his pace pretend to be as miserable as him and perhaps bad jokes will do the rest for you?
 
I had planned a hiking trip with a long time friend to the Grand Canyon. We had a year to get ready, and with two months left I felt I was unable to make the trip because I would not be in good enough shape. I was embarrassed, but there was no way I could make the trip safely. I would rather he be dissapointed about not going with me than have him be dissapointed and staring at me across a campfire for a week. What we did do was do our own thing that year, and learned to preplane a plan "B" when we set up future trips.
 
no but keep his pace pretend to be as miserable as him and perhaps bad jokes will do the rest for you?

This is my strategy if we get up into the mountains and I don't see my buddy facing up to the reality of his physical fitness. I'll just poke along, playing with my camera, and having a good old time. Then, on the day when we're supposed to go over the pass, if I don't think he's up to it, I'll just tell him I'M not up for it. Maybe my knee or foot or something will develop a mysterious aliment. Or maybe I just won't be able to catch my breath in the altitude.

I have no pride, so if I have to be the weak one in order to keep us safe, I can do that.

The first day of the trip is long, but not a huge amount of elevation gain (14 miles, maybe 1,000 feet total gain). The second day we're supposed to just hang out, fish, and get used to the elevation. The third day is when things start to get serious. By then, I'll have a pretty good gut feeling for whether my buddy is up for the really high country.

In the future, I'll work the trips so that it's more feasible to take some of the bail-out advice that some of you have offered. Or maybe I'll just go solo, although that's problematic because if I don't have a partner then it's way too easy for my wife to find a way to keep me off the trail. If there's no one relying on me, you see, then the trip is much easier to cancel.
 
You could consider simply telling him to monitor himself. Let him know that if at any time he needs to rest that he should tell you and that you don't mind at all. It's good of you to be concerned for him, but the idea that he's being looked after may have an impact on how both of you enjoy the trip.

It may not be the strength of trip that you had planned and prepared for, but you've got the elements here to have a great time. I'm envious. Enjoy! :thumbup:
 
Let him know that if at any time he needs to rest that he should tell you and that you don't mind at all.

On our hike a few weekends back, he called for a rest quite frequently. As in, every 100 yards or so. He just couldn't catch his breath. It wasn't a pretty picture. This happened on a trail that only gained about 500 feet over a mile or two. It wasn't very difficult at all. I wasn't irritated or impatient with the frequent stops, but it is what has caused me to become concerned with his fitness levels.

I have no problem with taking all day to walk 5 miles if that's what we want to do. I'm content to sit on a rock and study the scenery for hours at a time. My problem is that HE wants to do a very difficult couple of days, one of which is ~15 miles and around 5,000 feet of elevation gain, all at high altitude. I think I can do it. I don't think he can.

My only real irritation comes from the fact that he pushed for an ambitious trip, over my (weak) objections, and then I trained for it while he didn't.

In the end, I think we'll do the trip I originally wanted to do -- which is less than 10 miles a day, lots of stops, lots of time to take pictures, and lots of time sitting by various lakes watching golden trout nibble at our lures. The only question is, how long is it going to take my buddy to realize that this is the trip that we're actually on?

It may not be the strength of trip that you had planned and prepared for, but you've got the elements here to have a great time. I'm envious. Enjoy! :thumbup:

Oh, I'll have a good time, I'm sure of that. There might be a bit of drama while expectations get reset, but after that it should be all good.
 
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