"HOG Muk" Proto. . . Sneak Peek ! ! ! !

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OK...since you guys seem to have your DREAM MUK figgered out...here is mine...

Edge/blade geometry: FULL CONVEX, triple fullers and full length jimping on spine.

Blade finish: Full mirror polish, except in the fullers, which will be HURRICANE CAMO with glow in the dark, KEWPI DOLL skulls. The interior features of the jimping, and spine (all the way around the handle) will be finished in a red sandstone finish.

The handle material will be made from the rare and most highly prized, known for its indestructibility and unique aesthetic characteristics, the famed,
Leopard spot, "Blinkarta". So named because it changes color and pattern every time you blink.

This MUK package also includes a sheath made from the skin of a Tinki-Tinki, which is SWAHILI for, "Tinki-Tinki". This is basically the "Tasmanian Devil" sized version of the NILE crocodile.(Sometimes in remote regions the Tinki-Tinki is called the Piranha of the Nile.) The Tinki-Tinki has a voracious appetite and fearless nature which result in it's attacking humans in the most unlikely places, such as Porta-Potties, INflatable swimming pools and in one documented case, a rather large Goldfish tank in a pet shop.

Usually in the deep bush, there are no remains of any Tinki-Tinki kill, as this little killing machine has unusually thick enamel on it's teeth making it possible for the victim's bones to be consumed. It is not uncommon, while on safari, for trackers to come across the footprints of a human walking along a river. Then suddenly the tracks are gone without trace. When this happens, the trackers warn the rest of the group by simply say, "Tinki-Tinki!"

But I digress...the sheath is made from rows of over lapping scutes of the Tinki-Tinki. These scutes are perfectly bulletproof for calibers up to .375 H&H. While the larger calibers do not penetrate the scutes, when tested the sheath was actually forced into the test media backdrop.

This sheath is responsible for the entire, "NECKER" trend as anybody wearing a Tinki-Tinki sheath over his heart is absolutely protected from the errant heart seeking bullet. Sad to say that during the heyday of the NECKER trend the Tinki-Tinki was hunted to near extinction. This is the explanation for the widespread manufacture of inferior sheaths made of KYDEX, CONCEALEX, and PLASTIC-EX.

Also with this package comes the ever popular, knife lanyard known as the,
"WHAT THE?" sheath system. This consists of:

1- 6000 Denier nylon waist belt. (Suspenders optional.)
1-Automatic Heavy Duty fly fishing reel with 6 feet of 500 lb test, steel wire.
1-Titanium Belt loop attachment for holding the "MUK recovery system" to one's pants.
1-Titanium carabiner, to connect the steel wire to the lanyard hole of the MUK

Connect the Automatic fly fishing reel via the titanium belt loop to waist belt.
Connect titanium carabiner to knife.
Firmly seat knife in TINKI-TINKI sheath.
When MUK is needed, remove from sheath as per normal MUK manual of arms.
When user is finished with MUK, all he need do is hit the "retrieve" button on the automatic reel and VOILA! The knife is re-sheathed in tenths of a second.

USE this system with extreme care. Improper use may result in bodily injury, lacerations, contusions and minor amputations.

Testing accidents resulted in the system being named for the last words spoken by the test subjects after initiating MUK RETRIEVAL SYSTEM.

SO get your check books out for the MUK-O-GANZZAAAAA!

(Not responsible for injury or accidental death of purchaser as a result of improper use.))
 
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