Holiday knife giveaway

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Okay this is a little story from a long time ago when I was maybe 16. My friends and I went to a local LA place called Tommy's. We each ordered double cheese burgers. One of my friends, proceeded to pull out one of the burger patties, eat it in one bite, and then went back to the window to complain about his "double" burger only having one patty. The ended up giving him another sandwhich plus the one he had. I thought it was funny at the time. That friend and I are now on different sides of the law. He's behind bars somewhere, and well, I try to put people there :D

I am sure that I have other stories about my life that are funny, but this is the only one that came to mind. I am losing my memory now that I am in my 40's :o

My favorite animal is the Bald Eagle.
 
My boxer - George W.

If you own a boxer you now the drill - around the clock entertainment!!

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Here's a quick one. So I had taken my wife and daughter out for Mexican one night, before we hit up the local movie theater. I had pigged out like they were going out of business, so naturally my stomach started rumbling soon after. I remember thinking that sitting in a dark room surrounded by a bunch of strangers would be the perfect time to release some tension from my bubbling guts.

So here I am, letting one go silently, quietly chuckling to myself at the fact that I would never be found out, when suddenly my daughter says, "Eww daddy, you need to change your diaper!" Yup...right there in front of everyone. I'm glad the movie had already started. If the lights weren't out I'm sure everyone would have seen how red my face turned!

Oh and my favorite animal would have to be the mighty tiger!
 
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I just made this up last month, my wife cant stand my lame jokes...

What did the hamburger say when you looked down at it while cooking,

Quit Grilling ME! In a MR. T voice

Now I had to think... Id say my favorite animal is the squirrel. They are just funny to look at. Poor dumb little things...
 
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Well, I dunno how funny you'll find it, but this amused me quite a bit. I'm a gamer, and I was talking online in voice chat with a friend of mine few other gamer guys. One guy was complaining about a toothache, and my friend mentions that the last time he had tooth pain his dentist gave him demerol and that it helped a lot. One of the other guys responds "I think you mean Armor All". Without missing a beat my friend replies "No, I don't have a mechanic dentist", getting a laugh out of the group while the "Armor All" guy was sitting in confused silence.

As for favorite animal, I'm a cat lover. Here's a picture of one of my cats deciding the sink is a good spot to lay down:
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I don't have a lot of posts, but I try my best. If you don't consider me to have enough posts of use, I understand and stand by your decision.

Anyway, story. I am a college student and hold a minor student leadership role. I told my "boss" (a student too) about how I had written a document with some short term brainstorming goals. Her eyes lit up. "You need to put that on the website! I want to be able to see these things! Just say not to Google Docs!" So, I went on the website and made a page. I took a screenshot, pictured below.

 
Every time things start to look up, there's always someone there to crap on your face and today that guy had the runs. Due to some personal issues, I'm going to have to close this down for now. I will, at some point down the line pick a winner from those who have already posted, same rules and everything, but it may not be for a few months so please be patient. Sorry guys. :(
 
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