Gollnick
Musical Director
- Joined
- Mar 22, 1999
- Messages
- 29,258
The Glaucoma Hymn, oh my goodness.
I'm sorry... I know it's a very serious subject and such... but that's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.
What I wonder is how much it cost?
"So, what are you working on so frantically there?"
"I've got a commission!"
"Do you now? Wonderful! Your first big break. What is it?"
"I've been commissioned to write a hymn."
"Wow! A hymn! Who commissioned that? The Pope?"
"No. He's got his own in-house staff."
"The Presbyterians then? Some new, uplifting bit of worship music?"
"No, nothing quite like that."
"What then?"
"I'm not going to tell you. It's a paying commission. Now get out of here so I can get on with my work!"
[snatches the score from the piano]
"Glaucoma, Glaucoma, Glaucoma
Constricting vision slowly
Halted by progress of science..."
"YES! I've been commissioned to write a hymn to Glucoma."
[laughing] "A hymn for a disease?"
"Yes. And it's not that easy. You try finding something that rhymes with glaucoma."
[thinking] "Well... I guess there's melanoma."
"Oh, just get out of here!"
And I would have loved to have been there at the recording session. The session artist have all gathered. It's another day's work, another buck. "So, what is it today? A radio jingle? Maybe some incidental music for a movie?"
"Ah, no. It's a hymn."
"A hymn! Wow. We never get to do hymns. Crown Him with Many Crowns? A Mighty Fortress is our God?"
"Ah, no. It's the Glaucoma Hymn."
"The what hynm?"
"The Glaucoma Hymn."
"Who Come eh?"
"No! Glaucoma. The eye disease."
"A hymn for a disease?"
"Yes! Now then, places everyone. Quiet in the studio please!"
"Well, I guess it's a living."
"Yes, it is. And, people, let's try and make it sound majestic and uplifting."
I'm sorry... I know it's a very serious subject and such... but that's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.
What I wonder is how much it cost?
"So, what are you working on so frantically there?"
"I've got a commission!"
"Do you now? Wonderful! Your first big break. What is it?"
"I've been commissioned to write a hymn."
"Wow! A hymn! Who commissioned that? The Pope?"
"No. He's got his own in-house staff."
"The Presbyterians then? Some new, uplifting bit of worship music?"
"No, nothing quite like that."
"What then?"
"I'm not going to tell you. It's a paying commission. Now get out of here so I can get on with my work!"
[snatches the score from the piano]
"Glaucoma, Glaucoma, Glaucoma
Constricting vision slowly
Halted by progress of science..."
"YES! I've been commissioned to write a hymn to Glucoma."
[laughing] "A hymn for a disease?"
"Yes. And it's not that easy. You try finding something that rhymes with glaucoma."
[thinking] "Well... I guess there's melanoma."
"Oh, just get out of here!"
And I would have loved to have been there at the recording session. The session artist have all gathered. It's another day's work, another buck. "So, what is it today? A radio jingle? Maybe some incidental music for a movie?"
"Ah, no. It's a hymn."
"A hymn! Wow. We never get to do hymns. Crown Him with Many Crowns? A Mighty Fortress is our God?"
"Ah, no. It's the Glaucoma Hymn."
"The what hynm?"
"The Glaucoma Hymn."
"Who Come eh?"
"No! Glaucoma. The eye disease."
"A hymn for a disease?"
"Yes! Now then, places everyone. Quiet in the studio please!"
"Well, I guess it's a living."
"Yes, it is. And, people, let's try and make it sound majestic and uplifting."