I’m back and I’ve gone straight.

[Howard Wallace]

I’m glad to be back from my virtual walkabout. I read some speculation on the forum that I might bring “tea and oranges that come all the way from China.” You guys were pretty close. I’ll offer you this:

http://www.aolisi.net/ChunJiu.htm


But the real news is that I’ve gone straight.

Red Flower had mentioned several times that she wanted to “Touch my perfect body, with her…,” well nevermind, but suffice it to say that 3 decades worth of beard was in the way. So I shaved it off, at least for a while.

Chinese people love to give nicknames. My relatives have named me “Lao Hao.” Lao means old, like in Lao Zi. Hao means good, and is also phonetically equivalent to the first syllable in my western given name. Lao Hao translates approximately to “good old fellow.” They all thought I looked a lot older than Red Flower, since I had the full beard with substantial gray in it. Now since they have seen pictures of me clean shaven they are all surprised that Red Flower’s companion seems to be of the same generation that she is. I’m keeping my nickname though, because I’ve really grown to like it.

I decided as a teenager that I didn’t like the time and the tedium of scraping my face every morning, not to mention the irritation and ingrown hairs. And then, there were the influential words of one of my favorite philosophers …

From the Discourses of Epictetus http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/discourses.3.three.html

Young man, whom do you wish to make beautiful? In the first place, know who you are and then adorn yourself appropriately. You are a human being; and this is a mortal animal which has the power of using appearances rationally. But what is meant by "rationally?" Conformably to nature and completely. What, then, do you possess which is peculiar? Is it the animal part? No. Is it the condition of mortality? No. Is it the power of using appearances? No. You possess the rational faculty as a peculiar thing: adorn and beautify this; but leave your hair to him who made it as he chose. Come, what other appellations have you? Are you man or woman? "Man." Adorn yourself then as man, not as woman. Woman is naturally smooth and delicate; and if she has much hair (on her body), she is a monster and is exhibited at Rome among monsters. And in a man it is monstrous not to have hair; and if he has no hair, he is a monster; but if he cuts off his hairs and plucks them out, what shall we do with him? where shall we exhibit him? and under what name shall we show him? "I will exhibit to you a man who chooses to be a woman rather than a man." What a terrible sight! There is no man who will not wonder at such a notice. Indeed I think that the men who pluck out their hairs do what they do without knowing what they do. Man what fault have you to find with your nature? That it made you a man? What then? was it fit that nature should make all human creatures women? and what advantage in that case would you have had in being adorned? for whom would you have adorned yourself, if all human creatures were women? But you are not pleased with the matter: set to work then upon the whole business. Take away- what is its name?- that which is the cause of the hairs: make yourself a woman in all respects, that we may not be mistaken: do not make one half man, and the other half woman. Whom do you wish to please? The women?, Please them as a man. "Well; but they like smooth men." Will you not hang yourself? and if women took delight in catamites, would you become one? Is this your business? were you born for this purpose, that dissolute women should delight in you? Shall we make such a one as you a citizen of Corinth and perchance a prefect of the city, or chief of the youth, or general or superintendent of the games? Well, and when you have taken a wife, do you intend to have your hairs plucked out? To please whom and for what purpose? And when you have begotten children, will you introduce them also into the state with the habit of plucking their hairs? A beautiful citizen, and senator and rhetorician. We ought to pray that such young men be born among us and brought up.

But that was before Nepal led me to khukuris, khukuris led me to other knives, other knives led me to sharpening, sharpening led me to hair-popping edges, and hair-popping edges led me to bald patches on my arms and the curiosity as to how a well-sharpened blade would handle tougher facial hair.

I geared up with a straight razor, a strop, a bar of soap, a mug, and a brush. I’m having great fun and look forward to my new experiences each morning. I found out it takes a toll on a face to shave more than once a day (because a tiny layer of epidermis is also removed), so I find myself eagerly awaiting my next morning’s shave. There is nothing like putting an unguarded straight razor to the skin of your throat the first thing in the morning to focus the mind.

There are a lot of variables to a shave. With the grain, against the grain, lather type and length of time on beard, number of passes, razor shape, hot towl or not, time with towel, different types of shaving soaps and creams, lather on face, in hand, in mug with soap, in bowl, pre-softeners, herbal preparations, after shaves, and on and on. To be truly scientific in my quest for the perfect straight razor shave, I am only allowing myself to change one variable at a time. (Actually I could use some principals from projective geometry to create a slightly more efficient experimental protocol involving changing more than one variable at a time, but the results are not as intuitive, it’s not as fun, and it’s too much work) As it is I shall have completed my experimental protocols and will be able to report to you on how to get the perfect shave with a straight razor about …, say 2016.

A tip for those of you who frequent E-bay. There are lots of good old straight razors on e-bay for around $10. It just takes a couple of minutes with a belt grinder and an ultra-fine belt, and then a leather belt with some green chrome compound, to bring the edge of one of the old veterans up to shaving quality.

I suspect one day I’ll grow my beard back, but for now I’m having fun with the razor. Since I can always sharpen my razor, I am no longer feeling the irresistible compulsion to put razor edges on all my chopping khukuris.

 

[munk]

That's it? You come down from the Mountain and bring us the Tale Of The Shave??

Excellent.

Why the hell not?



munk

 

[TomFetter]

Welcome to the brotherhood of the razor. Though at the wife's request I'm back to wearing a beard ... whenever I've shaved over the past 15 years, it's been with straight, cold steel. There's great pleasure in the skill.

t.

 

[Howard Wallace]

That's it? You come down from the Mountain and bring us the Tale Of The Shave??

Excellent.

Why the hell not?

Hey, I also brought the secret to immortality. Check out the recipe.

Welcome to the brotherhood of the razor. Though at the wife's request I'm back to wearing a beard ... whenever I've shaved over the past 15 years, it's been with straight, cold steel. There's great pleasure in the skill.

You're right. I finally figured out what I've been missing.

 

[munk]

...I followed the link to the toddy..it's best we stick to the topic of razors; you need a human placenta to make the 'pep drink'.

What really scares me about folk medicine is the interactions between ingredients can be complex and difficult to follow if you're not a chemist. China is an old place, has had much time, and it is reasonable to expect some of the concoctions to actually work.

Maybe HI should make a straight razor. That's a fine idea. How about it?



munk

 

[Sylvrfalcn]

Welcome back Howard we missed ya. Takes a while getting used to seeing yourself in the mirror without your whiskers don't it? I love the old antique straight razors, got a monstrous old Civil War era Wade and Butcher with a spine like a khukuri on it, and original horn handle. Intimidating piece, but shaves like a dream. Throw away them confounded piece of crap disposables boys, ain't nuthin' like shaving with a dead man's razor.

Sarge

 

[45-70]

Maybe HI should make a straight razor. That's a fine idea. How about it?


munk

Perhaps if we were shaving yeti's.

"I have a special HI straight razor, 15 inch blade, 1/2 inch spine, scary sharp!"

On second thought...

 

[Howard Wallace]

...I followed the link to the tody..it's best we stick to the topic of razors; you need a human placenta to make the 'pep drink'.

What really scares me about folk medicine is the interactions between ingredients can be complex and difficult to follow if you're not a chemist. China is an old place, has had much time, and it is reasonable to expect some of the concoctions to actually work.

Maybe HI should make a straight razor. That's a fine idea. How about it?

When Red Flower and I were coming up I-5 in California a few years ago, we pulled off on a tiny exit and were looking at the second hand store in the little town. There was an elderly Chinese gentleman there, and he immediately came up to Red Flower. He was an interesting guy who had come over from China many years ago, and become a successful inventor and businessman in the US before he retired. His son had recently received his PhD. in biochemistry and was working for a major pharmaceutical company researching old Chinese herbal remedies. Apparently even the modern businesses see some potential profit in the old ways.

Straight razors were still in common use in Nepal and India when I was there in the 70s. Probably they still are. I remember when I decided to get my head shaved ..., in the ancient holy city of Bodh Gaya in India. I found a poor street barber by the side of the road. For a rupee or so he allowed me to have a seat on his best brick on the dusty roadside, and proceded to shave my head with his straight razor. It wasn't very sharp and the shave hurt like #&!!, but he didn't cut me.

I think there is probably still a healthy market for cheap mass-produced straight razors over in India and Nepal, so the kamis may not have much experience forging handmade razors. However, they should be well familiar with the qualities needed in a good razor. Handmade razors nowdays are rare, and if they are good there should be a ready market for them. If anyone can do it the HI kamis can. I think it would be worth a try, and could potentially be a high-profit item in the HI lineup.

 

[TomFetter]

My usual razor's nowhere near as old as Sarge's, but it is about 100 years old. Cost me $5; an 80 year old strop was $15. But a real badger hair brush ... there I splurged.

I've found that a heavier, wider razor cuts more smoothly; probably something to do with the weight of it. And for me, there were two eye-opening tricks. First, was letting the lather sit long enough on the face to soften up the beard. Now I lather up, then brush my teeth etc., and finally re-lather before shaving. That 5 minutes translates into a much better shave.

The second trick was holding the blade at an acute enough angle to my face ... steeper than 30 degrees or so, and I started to move into the negative side of the cut/scrape ratio.

Once you're comfortable and well practiced with a straight "push" cut, you'll find that experimenting with moving the blade in a slight bit of an arc gets smoother yet (slicing action). But you've got to have the blade angle set right to your face, as this slice cut exponentially increases the chance of nicking yourself.

t.

 

[cavetech]

Good story.

Please don't hurt yourself with the sharp face scraper.

 

[munk]

Howard, if you understand the requirements of the build of this tool, please write them out, let us see them, bat it around and maybe give it to Yangdu.

I think a HI straight razor would be awesome.
I'm tired of shaving my neck with plastic thingies.

Oh, and we'll call it the, "Wallace Razor, or "Howard Howler', Howard Hone, .....or something....

munk

 

[kamagong]

I've been shaving with a straight for a year and a half now. I agree with you; the focus required for straight razor shaving is a wonderful way to wake yourself up in the morning. I also find that it is one of life's simple pleasures. My family still thinks I'm crazy though.

Where's Ferguson? I think he literally has a "Kukri" razor stashed away somewhere.

 

[rosconey]

well if you make one ill take a tripple blade with pivoting handle-LOL

you can call it the hic -Himalayan Imports cutter or Himalayan Imports cantina cutter -the hicc

 

[Howard Wallace]

Howard, if you understand the requirements of the build of this tool, please write them out, let us see them, bat it around and maybe give it to Yangdu.

We already have some good feedback from Sarge and Tom.

I love the old antique straight razors, got a monstrous old Civil War era Wade and Butcher with a spine like a khukuri on it, and original horn handle.

I've found that a heavier, wider razor cuts more smoothly; probably something to do with the weight of it.

Most of the modern razors, including the top quality ones, have a smaller bladewidth and are less beefy than some of the classic old "meatchoppers" like Sarge's Wade and Butcher. Those hefty old wide-bladed razors are sought after by afficionados.

Here's an example of an old Wade and Butcher that has been expertly restored. The restorer put many hours work into it, including re-etching the original logos and new scales. It sold for over $300, and that is a bargain considering the labor that was put into restoring it.
[I can't link directly to the thread I want. Go to straightrazor.com, forums, restoration, "The Making of a MINTY W&B Meatchopper"]
http://www.straightrazorplace.com/component/option,com_wrapper/Itemid,33/
I would suggest starting with a model with a wide, heavy, short blade, like the classic Wade and Butcher in the thread I referenced. At least for the first models, the toe and the heel of the razor should be rounded rather than square. The square tips are used by barbers for precision work, but they are scary and increase the chance of nicks. I think it would be better to start out with rounded versions and see how they fly.

The kamis know what a razor is. Tell them we want a hefty one (danger - remember the Super Salyan) with a wide blade, with rounded corners. Maybe we can get some pictures of Sarge's classic, and some measurements off it. Sarge, can you get out a ruler and take a few blade measurements?

Where's Ferguson? I think he literally has a "Kukri" razor stashed away somewhere.

I just got an old one and it should be here in a couple of weeks.

 

[Kevin the grey]

Howard its good to have you back . How does your garden grow ?
I have one of those old Henckel razors off of E_bay . I don,t have a belt grinder . Perhaps because of my lack of experience with them it seems to me to get a good edge you would have to take off more metal than desireable .
Shaving will be quite a challenge for me . I have a sandpaper beard .

 

[kronckew]

the HI straight razor would likely come out with an 18" blade at 2.5 lb with a 3/4" spine, non-habaki bolsters, decorative pierced cho & carved neem wood grip - of course.

 

[munk]

No, I'm serious: a real life Himalayan Straight Razor. Carbon Steel. Not a 28 Ounce knife.

Bet HI would sell a million of them.


I want one already. I ran out of plastic thingies to trim my beard with. Darn.

munk

 

[ferguson]

Howard, welcome home! You know we need pics of the new you. Maybe a picture of you and Red Flower together?


As Kamagong requested, my Kukri straight razor. (Though all of my khukuris can shave. )

Steve

 

[Howard Wallace]

Howard its good to have you back . How does your garden grow ?
I have one of those old Henckel razors off of E_bay . I don,t have a belt grinder . Perhaps because of my lack of experience with them it seems to me to get a good edge you would have to take off more metal than desireable .
Shaving will be quite a challenge for me . I have a sandpaper beard .

It's good to be back. Most of the rhodendrons have come and gone, but we still have some out. The roses are out. Herbs are doing great and adding tasty accents to our meals. Our little xiang chun tree is wonderfully healthy.

You can get the same sharpening effect with slightly more labor using a traditional hone. I think the traditionalists would blanch white and have strokes if they knew I used a belt grinder instead of a hone. I have only used the leather belt so far because I have not had to deal with any deep nicks. However, a very fine belt will not remove much metal either. Most razors are hollow ground so only the spine and the edge make contact with the sharpening surface. You can protect the spine with tape if you are concerned about removing metal there.

Like you, I also have a coarse beard but it is no match for a well-sharpened razor weilded by a steady hand.

Steve, per your request ---

 

[munk]

Howard, you look happy.
You and your wife look gracious and happy together.

very nice.

munk