- Joined
- Mar 10, 2002
- Messages
- 19,806
This "history" lesson is quite enlightening!
Division of the human family into 2 distinct political
groups began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as
members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They
lived on deer in the mountains in the summer & would go to
the beach & live on fish & lobster in winter.
The 3 most important events in all of history were the
invention of beer, the wheel and Busse's. We'll talk about
Busse's later on, but for now, the wheel was invented to get
man to the beer. These acts were the foundation of modern
civilization & together were the catalyst for the splitting
of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups:
Liberals & Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain & that was the
beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor
aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human
ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be
invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how
villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking & killing animals for the
B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the
beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement."
Other men who were weaker & less skilled at hunting learned
to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly
B-B-Q's & doing the sewing, fetching & hair dressing. This
was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these
liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known as 'girleymen.'
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the
domestication of cats, the trade union, the invention of
group therapy & group hugs & the concept of Democratic
voting to decide how to divide the meat & beer that
conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the
largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.
Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but
most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat
raw fish but like their beef well done. Tofu, & French food
are standard liberal fare. Another interesting revolutionary
side note: most of their women have higher testosterone
levels than their men.
Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists,
dreamers in Hollywood & group therapists are liberals.
Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it
wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink CBL. They eat red meat & still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo
cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors,
police officers, corporate executives, postal workers, soldiers, athletes &
generally anyone who works productively outside government.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who
want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern"
the producers & decide what to do with the production.
Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than
Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in
Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept
in after the Wild West was tame & created a business of
trying to get MORE for nothing.
Oh, by the way, the men talked about their new Busse Knives
around the fire while drinking CBL.
Division of the human family into 2 distinct political
groups began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as
members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They
lived on deer in the mountains in the summer & would go to
the beach & live on fish & lobster in winter.
The 3 most important events in all of history were the
invention of beer, the wheel and Busse's. We'll talk about
Busse's later on, but for now, the wheel was invented to get
man to the beer. These acts were the foundation of modern
civilization & together were the catalyst for the splitting
of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups:
Liberals & Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain & that was the
beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor
aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human
ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be
invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how
villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking & killing animals for the
B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the
beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement."
Other men who were weaker & less skilled at hunting learned
to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly
B-B-Q's & doing the sewing, fetching & hair dressing. This
was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these
liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known as 'girleymen.'
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the
domestication of cats, the trade union, the invention of
group therapy & group hugs & the concept of Democratic
voting to decide how to divide the meat & beer that
conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the
largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.
Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but
most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat
raw fish but like their beef well done. Tofu, & French food
are standard liberal fare. Another interesting revolutionary
side note: most of their women have higher testosterone
levels than their men.
Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists,
dreamers in Hollywood & group therapists are liberals.
Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it
wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink CBL. They eat red meat & still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo
cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors,
police officers, corporate executives, postal workers, soldiers, athletes &
generally anyone who works productively outside government.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who
want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern"
the producers & decide what to do with the production.
Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than
Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in
Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept
in after the Wild West was tame & created a business of
trying to get MORE for nothing.
Oh, by the way, the men talked about their new Busse Knives
around the fire while drinking CBL.
