I ain't drunk (yet). .. I'm just drinkin'!!!!!!

Hey its Sunday
SNL is over & Stinkin Cheaters is on YAWN:barf:
 
Originally posted by mschwoeb
Well, the show I was watching just ended. So off I go all of three feet to bed.
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Heck Mike, when I first read this, I thought you only had a 3 foot bed. I wondered what the hell you did with the other 3 1/2 feet of you.
:D
 
Got the sheath email, thanks bud. It sounds like the start of a good relationship too!

Only thing is, while you may fondle all my little children while they're in your possession, I'm pretty careful about my little adoptees (I'm getting ripped now...woohoo!)...so I wantum back in the same condition as sent, unless other plans are hatched in the mean time... ;)

Sucking fumes off an empty bottle of cheap 'frantch' wine, I remain,

Mel
 
Now I gotta go sneak the remote out of Mrs. Buy Browns hand on the easy chair:eek:
 
Here are some pretty funny ones a co-worker sent.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas: Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):


1. A king-size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.

11. PlayDough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Swimming Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably don't want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

22. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

23. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.



First grade...true story:


One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home.
She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said... 'Holy ****! A talking pig!'"!
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 MINUTES.

Grandchildren are the reward you get for not killing your children.
 
Gotcha Mel

I am all ways nice to peoples kids while I borrow them................wow that just does not sound right:eek:
 
10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.

Duplos will NOT!:eek: :D
 
Originally posted by SpearHead
Odd width for the miller. Just seems out of character. 9/32" is .28"
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Some crazy guy milled those Double bacon active duties. Jerry might use the Miller's on Crack rehab place
 
Mike that is some funny stuff I think I may tell the Pig one at church when me and my Buddies are lurking in the halls (I may use a nice word for **** though)







Edited because I kant spill wen I is tire-d
 
hey I finnaly have over 500 post!!!!!!!
 
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