I am in trouble

lizardman_u

lizardman_u

Joined
Nov 28, 1999
Messages
1,710
I wish I had a digital camera, I would post the pic of what a co-worker and I did to another co-workers cubicle. We were asked to go get 24 boxes of paperwork from where fed-ex dropped it for us, so the person who is in charge of the archives won't be at work until tomorrow morning. My co-worker and I pushed in his chair and stacked these boxes in his cubicle, the first thing he has to do in the morning is move the boxes 100 feet to the archive room. no worries they aren't heavy, I easily moved 4 at a time on a hand truck.:p
 
lizardman_u said:
24 boxes of paperwork
Click to expand...
Phew...I think you should take that out to the parking lot, and you can all test your fire-making skills. Just tell 'em it must have got lost in transit. Gotta love the "paperless society"...:eek:

OSMiltonsm.jpg
 
I got in trouble a couple weeks ago... :D

Two female coworkers always went for a morning and afternoon walk around our warehouse and the ajoining one (It was a mile for two laps they said). I got to wondering if they ever encounted any wild life...

And an idea was born... Next time I was at walmart, I picked up a $1 plastic snake... We had some fishing line at home... I was going to sit inside and pull it under the front door, in front of them as they walked past, but a coworker told me to crouch between two cars and pull it out from the bushes...

The boss came out and was trying to get his camera phone to record it as a movie, a bunch of other coworkers were behind the (tinted front door) watching, trying to get their cameras ready, but the girls showed up too soon.

I timed it perfect, as they we looking at the boss (Thinking he'd stepped outside to get better reception on his phone) They both screamed and jumped, doing funky dances to get away from the beast! :D:D

Then it got kicked at me and a bunch of swear words unleashed in my direction. They've vowed revenge, but haven't struck yet. I left it in the hallway, and they both took great pleasure in stomping it everytime they went by. I've got it hanging on the wall in my office as a trophy.
 
lizardman_u said:
, I easily moved 4 at a time on a hand truck.:p
Click to expand...

Yes... but what if the handtruck was nowhere to be found?

"Hey, Liz Man, where's the handtruck?"

"Oh... ahh... it went into the shop yesterday afternoon for... ah... mmm... welllll... ahhhh... calibration!... yeah calibration.

"Calibration?"

"Ah. Yeah. It's a new OSHA rule. All handtrucks have to be calibrated annually. It should be back tomorrow. They left us this unicycle as a loaner in the meantime."
 
I love the opportunities provided by cubicles.

After one friend left for the day, I moved his desk, which he kept against the front of the cubicle next to the door, but I moved it in front of the door. Which opened in. Don't ask me how, I won't tell. To open the doior, he had to push it open against the weight of the entrie desk.

Another friend came in one morning to find everything on his desk exactly as it always was. Unfortunately for him, I had turned his desk around and moved everything on it to face the way they normally did. Deceived, he sat in his wheeled chair and shoved himself forward -- to slam his knees into the back of the desk.

Another supervisor would come in and sit down behind her desk with her back to the wall. Plenty of room. Every day, I moved the desk back toward the wall about 1/2". One day she came in and realized she had not been putting on weight -- her desk had migrated in towards where she sat.

I have NO idea why she screamed MY name when she noticed this.
 
Gollnick said:
Yes... but what if the handtruck was nowhere to be found?

"Hey, Liz Man, where's the handtruck?"

"Oh... ahh... it went into the shop yesterday afternoon for... ah... mmm... welllll... ahhhh... calibration!... yeah calibration.

"Calibration?"

"Ah. Yeah. It's a new OSHA rule. All handtrucks have to be calibrated annually. It should be back tomorrow. They left us this unicycle as a loaner in the meantime."
Click to expand...


Sounds like the lab guys at my work.
Boss: "Why's the lab so dirty?"
Lab guy: "The broom has an out of service tag on it."
 
lizardman_u said:
I wish I had a digital camera, I would post the pic of what a co-worker and I did to another co-workers cubicle. We were asked to go get 24 boxes of paperwork from where fed-ex dropped it for us, so the person who is in charge of the archives won't be at work until tomorrow morning. My co-worker and I pushed in his chair and stacked these boxes in his cubicle, the first thing he has to do in the morning is move the boxes 100 feet to the archive room. no worries they aren't heavy, I easily moved 4 at a time on a hand truck.:p
Click to expand...



Mine was totally macilious ! I worked the counter in a large parts store in the '60's. One bitchlady worked in the office & kept her nose burried in the bosses a$$ . She could do NO wrong & was universally loathed/hated .

We know how females wait until the last instant[causing many bladder infections ] to pee don't we ? This one day she'd really pissed me off & all I could think of was sweet REVENGE !

Ladies room was quite a hike to the rear of the building & it had a light outside the door of the poorly lit area. I had some extremely loud pop-apart firecrackers & I tacked several to the door & the string ends to the frane. When I finishes I unscrewed the light bulb & jogged back to the counter. I tipped my buddies off to listen for a scream.

Soon I heard the rapid clicking of her highheels . Must really be in distress

[Snicker-snicker ]

KABOOM ! Scream ! Curse ! Language would'a embarrased a sailor .


She slunk back to the offise & the boss came out & asked a delivery boy to take a bucket & mop & clean the area around the ladies room.


Uncle [don't bleep with the Lone Ranger ] Alan :D
 
In the late 80s, I installed car stereos, alarms, etc... My "boss" was a prick, so one day I wired up car alarm horn under the co. toilet. You can guess what happened! It was one of my best days at work!:D
 
"The broom has an out of service tag on it."

Oh, I gota try that one!
 
I had some extremely loud pop-apart firecrackers & I tacked several to the door & the string ends to the frane.
Click to expand...
so one day I wired up car alarm horn under the co. toilet
Click to expand...

I wish I'd worked with you guys. No one would have noticed ME. I mean, no one ever had a freaking HEART ATTACK from one of MY jokes! :D
 
I would like to thank Golnick for the idea, or a variation thereof.

I have hidden the hand truck, and a memo will be going on the door where it is stored stating that "all hand trucks have been removed from building 18 untill all potential operators have been properly trained and licensed" signed the equipment manager.:D

he will be trying for 1/2 a day or more to get his handtruck operators license as well. :eek:
 
lizardman_u said:
he will be trying for 1/2 a day or more to get his handtruck operators license as well. :eek:
Click to expand...
It will be longer than that. He'll need to pass an intelligence test before he's allowed to apply for the Handtruck Operators License. And even when he has his Handtruck Operators License, he needs to be checked out on the Left-handed Monkey Wrench maintenance procedures for the handtruck.
 
Clingfilm over the ladies toilet bowls is quite a neat idea. They don't see it when they sit down on the seat and soon get a wet spray. Talking of clingfilm, I once saw a picture of a cubicle door opening sealed with clingfilm and tape and the cubicle filled with polystyrene packing chips.
 
Andrew Taylor said:
I once saw a picture of a cubicle door opening sealed with clingfilm and tape and the cubicle filled with polystyrene packing chips.
Click to expand...

It's best done with palatizing wrap, actually. Clingfilm is to narrow. And the shipping dock is going to want their curls back when you're done since they're expensive.

Another good one is to go downstairs to the closet where the facilities department keeps the spare cubical walls and find a section that is the width of the opening to the victim's cube. This stuff is all done on standard dimensions, so there will be such a section. All it takes is a standard Allen Wrench to remove the moulding from the two sides of the entrance and insert the aforementioned wall section thus walling in said cubical. To make the effect complete, find one of those big, long banners that says, "Quality is our Mission" or whatever the current slogan is, and hang it on the cubical walls across the newly installed section looking as if it belongs there and has always been there.
 
Gollnick said:
To make the effect complete, find one of those big, long banners that says, "Quality is our Mission" or whatever the current slogan is, and hang it on the cubical walls across the newly installed section looking as if it belongs there and has always been there.
Click to expand...
Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia.
 
I welcome any suggestions though I do have a strategy in mind allready.
CAUSE: Yesterday I left some food in the fridge in the office, I came in today and lo and behold, It's eaten! My thoughtful dayshift counterparts were gracious enough to leave the empty dish in the fridge. I was depending on this food for tonight's sustenance, I am hungary.
EFFECT:I don't know who has wronged me, but I think I have a plan of action that will minimize collateral damage. When I go home in the morning I will whip up a batch of brownies, And then top them with large swirls of melted exlax. I will leave 4 brownies in a tupperware dish in the fridge(one broken in half as if eaten). Any one who suffers from my retaliation must have first transgressed against me, therefore they deserve it.

Any flaws I should be aware of? Any suggestions that could make my revenge more sweet? Do share.
 
smknman said:
Any flaws I should be aware of?
Click to expand...

Only the potential for dismissal from your job... not to mention possible arrest for food adulteration. Other than that, I'd say go for it.
 
It's not like he would have poisoned them. He was only preparing a snack for himself, which would help with a minor intestinal problem. :)

How could they be harmed by his food?
 
My thoughts exactly Mr. Benyamin, What are they going to say, "I stole his lunch and it made me sick"? Of course I do realize there could be some blow back, that is my main concern and what I need to think about the most, I would hate to start a tit for tat that would spiral out of control. Wait, that sounds kinda fun, if I can keep my job.
 
It's one thing to fill someone's cube with packing peanuts; that's a harmless little prank, ha ha ha. Nobody got physically sick from it. It's another to plant poisoned brownies in the lunchroom; that's beyond harmless prank. I strongly suggest that you scrap that one.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top