I am very drunk!!

R

Rod Allen

Joined
Oct 26, 2002
Messages
477
I am A bit pissed aftter a pretty hurtfull day! But I needed to ThaNk the people here at the Cantina I m just a dust bunny and probably dont even have a right to be here, so Thank you all, Right noiw I am very close to ending this pain, ITS ONLY my kids that keep e going, My apoogiesndthak you for being real people . Cheers ROD
 
Danny, Thanks mate, but no what I am going to get is the best F.....g Lawyer I an get and the Bitch will pay!!!! Rod
 
Rod, listen to Danny. he's a very wise man:) Best of luck to you in this hard time, friend. You'll get through it, everyone will survive, and your daughters will still think their daddy is Superman:) Hang tough.


~Jake
 
Steely GUNZ , i AM TRYING TO, but 4 years of ****! and this bitch are finally wearing this old antique down, Love all you Guys and Ging may you always rest in Heaven! Rod
 
Rod?

Take two aspirins and some water, go to bed. Put some Gatorade, or sweetened soft-drink near the bed for when you wake up. Your body will be dehydrated and sugar-poor.

A lot of us have been there. You get past it. Sleep, wake up in pain, get through the hang-over, and never make a decision when you are:

hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or drunk.


Now get to bed. It will be better, honest.


Kis
 
Don't get drunk again til you have made your mind up that "ending it" is not the answer. Booze is a downer, it limits your ablities to think straight, and keeps you from seeing your other options. And the hangover is even worse. You can't think straight til you are off the booze a couple days, through the hangover, and talk with someone outside the problem.

If you still feel like ending it, call a crisis center on the phone, and they'll get you hooked up with someone who is outside the problem and can give you an unbiased opinion whether you want to hear it or not.

If you are clinically depressed, you have a chemical imbalance, and need to follow a doctor's orders. And give medications 10 days to 2 weeks to start working. In the initial stages of treatment you may find yourself getting very angry because you are leaving the enervation of depression and you now have the energy to feel your feelings. Hang in there.

I doubt you need all this advice, but I'd rather lay it out than brush it off and poo-poo it, then find out you needed straight talk and didn't get it.

Getting an attorney sounds like a plan.

Ubi Caritas et Amor, Deus ibi est.
 
I agree with Rusty and Danny. Get sober'd up, make a decision about what to do, make a plan, follow through with it. Reach out for support anytime you need it, and as Danny suggested, get a change of scenery...

hang in
 
You will be come out the other side of the pain.

Focus on the future
& call in the professional advisors; attorneys, whatever.

If you focus on who did what
you may never be happy.
That traps you in the past.

Let your 'EX' forget about you,
help her to focus elsewhere than you,
for your own sake.

Find a way to send an enduring message to your daughters
(legal, financial, whatever) ;
it may take a few years,
but you can be close to them again.

Find out what 'has worked' for others in similar situations.
Talk to a therapist for alternate views of the situation,
the strength of a therapist for most people
is not treating 'illness',
but in having talked with many, many other people with life altering problems,
and having seen what helps/works and what doesn't.

Best
Prayers
 
Besides that some of the very best therapists have been there, done that, and make flaming idiots of themselves at it. If they cringe when you relate doing dumb stuff it's cause they are remembering their jackass stunts.
 
Rusty quote "Besides that some of the very best therapists have been there, done that, and make flaming idiots of themselves at it. If they cringe when you relate doing dumb stuff it's cause they are remembering their jackass stunts."

Thats so true Rusty! :D , but hopefully one can flag ones own reaction & put it to one side, without the client noticing. :rolleyes:

cheers,
Spiral
 
Hey Rod...hang in there man. No apologies needed, we've all been somplace like you are and understand that's what having friends is all about.
 
Rod I was in your place for many, many, years . There is life beyond the bitch so hang in there and don't give up, or give in. And like Nasty says, "There is no need to apologize, we've all been there at least once."
 
spiraltwista said:
Rusty quote "Besides that some of the very best therapists have been there, done that, and make flaming idiots of themselves at it. If they cringe when you relate doing dumb stuff it's cause they are remembering their jackass stunts."

Thats so true Rusty! :D , but hopefully one can flag ones own reaction & put it to one side, without the client noticing. :rolleyes:

cheers,
Spiral
Click to expand...


Hi Rod,
I guess I was pretty blunt and said some harsh things yesterday. If I did, it was because your description of the tragic nature of the scene was an all too real playback of another place and another time frighteningly similar.And the adrenaline,once again, spiked out.

So
I finally got back to check up on your status. I have been strangely touched by this thread and wanted to add a few more comments in an effort to get past the hurt and the anger. If you can bear to read these comments there might be something of value.

While out running some errands with the wife, I couldn't get your story out of my mind so I posed a few questions to her in order to get the opinion of someone who is far more rational and compassionate. I started with this hypothetical couple and gave her a summary of the situation and I asked her what message the ex-wife was trying to give to the former spouse by having the boyfriend come to the children's birthday party.

She said that the message was that she was getting on with her life.

I then asked her what message did she think the man would receive from the situation and she repeated that he would understand that she was telling him that she was getting on with her life. I offered that that was not the message the man would get. The man would see it as an insult,a slap in the face,a put down in front of his children,and a vicious manipulation almost guaranteed to have the same effect as throwing gasoline on a fire.

Standing off to the side it is difficult to see her dilemmna because if the new boyfriend is not invited then he will be hurt and will feel cut out and in his heart believe that he is being strung along while she tries to make up with the children's father.What about the children? Do they like the new man and is he good to them? I for one know that a good stepfather can be a Godsend! I also know that a stepfather can never replace the father no matter how good but the children can be caught in the middle.

My wife then added a possible solution would have been to have two separate birthday parties. One with the new boyfriend only, then one with the father -if that was possible. That would be a pretty good deal for the children as they would surely soon connect all future holiday celebrations and recognize the bennies of having two dads,both bringing presents.

As others have said-"This too shall pass and it most certainly will".

If you can get past the personal pain and fear of changes that you have little or no CONTROL over and look 10+ years down the road --you will find that responding with love will carry blessings beyond belief and responding with anger,grief,bitterness,and revenge will also carry pain beyond belief.

From one who knows--- hate, anger,revenge,and booze can keep you going but will extract a heavy toll on your life .

So here we are faced with more choices and more decisions--I wonder what they will be?

Your friends will be here,watching, smoking, and sending love your way!
 
Clearblue, Thank you for your comments and kind thoughts and everyone else. If nothing else this has now put me into action to get things legally formalized. Just for the record I have no issue with the boyfriend or her having one, everyone has to get on with living. It was just preventing me from being at my kids party after knowing it was so important to them. Anyway I am letting it rest. The Lawyers can do the fighting not me.
 
Been there. We can't help our feelings, sometimes, but no-one can TAKE our happiness, because it comes from inside. There are sunny days to come.

('Course, I'm more partial to cloudy days, but you know what I mean.)

John
 
Rod, you have got plenty of pals at the cantina here. So if you wish to talk more, don't hesitate.

All of us are sending you some powerful, positive feelings to sail through this stormy stretch of water.
 
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