I Don't Like Solitude

redsquid2

redsquid2

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Knifemaker / Craftsman / Service Provider
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I am smiling as I type this. I guess people who are "spiritual" are supposed to seek solitude, huh? I think I am spiritually aware, but I do not like being alone for long periods of time, like more than overnight.

Admiring my hero, Colin Fletcher, I used to go backpacking solo, starting in the mid-1970's. But I eventually realized I found it just too boring. Another thing I did not like about it was that I tended to get lost in my own thoughts, which tend to exaggerate danger and possible harm. My mind can exaggerate the severity of challenges, like thirst, blisters, fingers going numb from cold, or the difficulty of building a good fire in soaking wet conditions. Everything seemed harder to overcome vs. when I was part of a group. There was drama going on in my imagination, involving wolves or bears or snakes, especially in the night. Like Mark Twain said, "The worst things that ever happened to me, never happened to me." The good news is, I never suffered any permanent injury, and I was in some beautiful places.

Carlos Carsolio has climbed the 14 highest peaks in the world, without oxygen tanks, and most of those peaks, he took solo. I'm sure he had some help getting close to the top, but he reached many peaks on a solo final day. He said, "The best mountain climbers of every generation come in different forms. It’s not like gymnastics, where everybody looks similar, or in certain other sports, or in cycling. In the mountains, the best mountaineers for each generation include those who are taller, shorter, more tough, less tough. The physical aspect changes, but, yes, there is a common characteristic, which is will. It is a certain capacity for suffering, which is not masochism, but rather learning to accept it, to train oneself, to train for cold, hunger, thirst, tiredness, physical pain, because the satisfaction is much greater than all of those things. And among all those things, of course, is perseverance. It’s a very important factor, that continuity; to be looking for the creative variables, without losing your vision, because the mountain is alive and changing. It changes every moment."

OK, but still, I think, "Why do it alone? Whether on a mountain or elsewhere, why?" I have an answer or two of my own, but I would like to get yours.

Thank you.

Andy/redsquid2
 
I suspect it all comes down to your own personality. From when I was a teenager I've taken long solo trips and will motorcycle for days sill with just my own thoughts in the helmet. It's something I very much enjoy.

The last 8 years I've spent my time at work solitary only connected by phone calls or net after years in a busy location with lots of coworkers and visitors. That took a huge amount of adjustment.

That TV series Alone was a pretty good take on what happens to average folks alone in the outdoors. Even if you're prepared for it the process can be a battle.
 
I'm pretty much with you. I actually enjoy solitude, but I enjoy it on my terms when I can end it quickly if I want to. When doing something strenuous and difficult I find it much easier to summon will and strength to support companions than I do for just myself.
 
I love solitude. It's when I can really sort things out. I do have to disappear a few times a year to get the requisite solitude.

I'm a morning person. A VERY early riser. My wife will sleep in any chance she gets. Makes for a great combination in that I can daily have the house quiet and to myself in the darkness a couple of hours before the sun rises and when the new day dawns.
 
I'm an introvert, but I spend my work days having to be an extrovert, helping kids get through some of their fears, learn about responsibility, things like that. I don't get out much solo, but when I do I can go at my pace, not someone else slowing or hurrying me. Solitude gives me a chance to be more mindful of myself, rather than having to think for 18 others who are not quite so clued in.
 
Sometimes I want to be alone. Sometimes I dont. Sometimes I think I dont want to be alone so I go with a group, only to find myself wishing I'd come alone.

The quality of your company means a lot, in that case.
 
I need some solitude. While I enjoy doing stuff with other people, I need a little solo time every now and then. There is greater quiet in solitude. There is greater freedom in solitude. There are fewer distractions, other than those that arise in the mind.
 
Many ancient and traditional societies had rites of passage that involved going off on one's own to find oneself.
In solitude, you don't have the distractions of others, or the bustle of everyday life; you are forced to commune with yourself.
Some people like that, some don't.

It also facilitates communion with God/gods/spirits, if they are part of your belief system.

There is also the thrill of self-reliance (if only as a momentary illusion), which is something one cannot have so much while immersed in a wider society.
 
I think you make a good point there Stab, how many people these days go somewhere to "find themselves" but do so with a pile of people they know. How will you learn something new? Or they are simply looking to find new people, and so they still learn nothing about themselves.
 
I have found that i do not care as much for solitude as i do silence. Very rarely will i feel the need to retreat away from others, but there are more frequent times when i may go days without speaking, unless absolutely necessary.
 
oh, that would be nice. But If I tried that some kids would get very hurt, then its paperwork. I'd like to do a bushwalk where all I do is my stuff, and the kids have to pick it up from what I'm doing, but that would likely break the limits of their observation skills. Of course the ones that got it would get a lot out of it.
 
Hi! Personally I like loneliness. Maybe it’s because I am surrounded by many people most of the time, at home, at work, etc. During the few solo hikes I manage to have, I feel much more in control of my time and how to use it. I interact only with themselves and feelings are amplified. Silence is sometimes so loud that it almost makes noise. I understand someone maybe annoyed by the silence if not used to, but I like it :). For many loneliness means anguish, anxiety, for me it is not so: these are precious moments, opportunities to look down on me from within, reflect, think, pray. I become anxious and nervous instead when I'm surrounded by too many people or, even worse, by crowds.

The times I happened to talk to someone about this way of mine of experiencing the mountains, I almost always feel they took me for a madman or at least as irresponsible. Objections are always the same: What if something happens? What if you are injured? And, if it is winter, and you end up under an avalanche, how will they find you? Eventually, almost all agree that one should never go alone hiking in the mountains. TV also tells you this :D! But, to be honest, I do not feel that irresponsible, as I do not feel so safe when I'm with someone else, and even less, if there is a bunch of people over my head.

Company is not always synonymous with safety and a group rope climbing doesn’t stop an avalanche, It’s maybe just one more card that you can gamble away at the last hand of the game, hoping that those who are with you are able to use it. Even the rope, always synonymous with safety in the imagination of the people, can become a double-edged sword if not used in the right way. Examples of this are the many tragedies that occur periodically involving group rope climbers. With this type of progression, which many times is used on easy terrains or on glaciers, two or more people are tied to each other, but often without any fixed anchorage to the ground. Many, especially beginners, will feel safe only for the fact of being tied to someone else and more prone to take unnecessary risks. I think knowledge is still the best tool for the identification of hazards and for every outdoor activity linked to the mountain.

Personally, when I'm alone hiking in the mountains, I feel much more careful, I observe a lot more, I am more cautious, more aware of what is around me and, if I have some doubts or feel unsure, I’m more prone to go back on my feet. Is it just me that I decide what is best to do or not do to not get hurt. When alone I make decisions quickly. The time that passes from decision to action in some situations can be crucial. I noticed that when I am with other people, especially if the group is large, even when faced with a simple decision to take, it all slows down and there are always some issues in agreeing what to do and in taking actions. When alone, I normally have a higher perception of risk. Even during a simple walk, my level of attention is usually higher. When in groups I feel safer and I “lower my guard” or even, sometimes, I can take risks that I wouldn’t take alone, just for the sake of “competition” or to avoid being seen as “coward”.

To hike in the mountains alone, exposing myself to it gradually, as time went by, I became more knowledgeable, responsible for my own choices and more confident in myself. When alone I also establish a stronger contact with nature, I have no distractions to what is around me. Solitude, for me, sharpens my sensitivity and boosts my emotions.

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I work around lots of people out of necessity, Monday through Friday, so I'll take some solitude when and where I can find it. However, when I go hiking/camping, I do tend to go with one other person. This tends to be my younger brother, who is a "man of few words" much like I am. In the past, it was more frequently my wife who'd go on outings with me, but she starts getting fidgety without texting, Facebook and such. With a new baby at home, we can't both go anyway, but it's also keeping me from going on some of the solo trips I was thinking about. I look forward to our little girl being old enough to join us, but that's a long way off, and isn't exactly going to constitute solitude.
 
I don't like complete solitude either. I like outdoor activities. At 68 YO with a bad back and failing knees, I still like doing what I can as far as hiking, climbing, etc. Exploring new places is always fun, but I prefer to do it with... my dogs. Having lived with dogs constantly for the last 63 years, I find I prefer their company to any other and I can spend hours or even days "out and about" in just their company and never feel alone. In fact, I feel alone when they aren't with me even in a crowd of people.

I have to add here that I love my wife. We've been married for 45 years and I really enjoy doing things with her. But I stand by paragraph #1 :o.
 
We ought to post our Myers-Briggs MBTI personality types. I was first tested in 1984 and last tested in 2005. I'm consistently ISTP.

An introvert who for decades has worked in a field requiring extroversion. It's not so much that I like solitude but that I require it which is why I find chances to escape to it so I can recharge, reset, refresh, and think things out.
 
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Add me to the list of those who enjoy camping, hiking and fishing alone. I just got back from a trip two weeks ago and leave for a five day trip this Monday.

I have never felt closer to God while alone in the woods.
 
I don't care for crowds. I've found myself doing most of my outdoor pursuits alone, however I find it more enjoyable in the company of at least one other person. If I hadn't gone alone for the past 30 yrs I wouldn't have gone at all. My mind seems to excel at identifying the worst case scenario. I didn't know that Mark Twain quote, but it seems to fit me. I saw on a church sign "Worry is interest on a debt you may not have to pay." I still go alone most of the time and still worry about things that statistically will never happen to me. Now activities involving heights....YIKES....is a whole other thing. I'm NEVER climbing El Capitan, but it would be awesome and I'm somewhat jealous of those that can and do.
 
Over the years I've found that if I'm not willing to go alone - I don't get to go very often.
Depending on others for availability massively reduces opportunities.
 
I think the "solo" is a dying art.
So many are over stimulated by TV, smartphone etc. they never have a quite moment or even a true moment alone as the Instagram etc.

I have done a lot of soloing in the Sierra Nevada and local Bay Area hills. Most of the time it is very peaceful. But once in a while alone can be a scary situation. But it puts meat on them bones and makes one stronger mentally.
 
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