I Don't Like Solitude

The closest single word answer would be “privacy”, but that is insufficient. For me, better is; it is a condition of optimal access to the self.
 
leghog said:
An introvert who for decades has worked in a field requiring extroversion. It's not so much that I like solitude but that I require it which is why I find chances to escape to it so I can recharge, reset, refresh, and think things out.
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well said.....me too. Gotta recharge with my own thoughts, space, etc.
 
i'm with most of the posters here - i like solitude. most of my trips i prefer going solo - i can go wherever i want with the pace i want and i can change my plan mid-hike with no worries....especially when i was new here i felt like i learned a lot more faster because i had to do everything on my own - from firestarting to land nav...nothing quite like failing in the field to force myself to pick up those skills at home and practice it again and again so it doesn't happen again when i'm in the woods solo.
 
There is a personal balance to be found in there somewhere. Some people crave human interaction. Others need solitude. Most people require a bit of both.

I am towards the introverted end of the spectrum. People are OK as long I have some personal space to retreat to at the end of the day. That is how I am wired.

If I am heading out into the wilderness for a long time I like to have people with me. Going for 3 weeks without any human contact sucks. But it is more of an "alone together" sort of deal. I want another introvert there who doesn't require constant attention.

If it is just a day or weekend trip I am OK alone. In some cases I prefer it that way. It gives me time for quiet reflection.

@leghog i consistently test as INTJ
 
I always backpack with one to three people. It's usually with my son, one of his friends, and my old backpacking buddy of 25 years. Wouldn't have it any other way. I never tire of the great conversation and sharing the experience. :thumbup:
 
I'm torn, does a dog count?

A dog is as much companionship as I need and one person is more than I want, usually.
 
My reasons for most of trips being solo are simply that no one really wants to go as fast or far as I like to go, hence 75%+ of outings are solo. I enjoy hiking/backpacking with my wife, and more recently my grandson, but the fact remains if I want to do what I like to do- I'm probably going by myself :D
 
StrayRound said:
I'm torn, does a dog count?

A dog is as much companionship as I need and one person is more than I want, usually.
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Yep, a dog counts so not solo. I like most dogs more than most people so would rather spend my time with the dogs..
 
Solitude and silence are two of some of my favorite companions. There's no feeling like being alone on a mountain, experiencing the complete lack of man-made noise to a level where you can hear the sound of snow falling.

I've been extremely antisocial my entire life, however, there is no better feeling than experiencing solitude with another person, whether that person be a dog or my father or my best friend.

It's a great feeling to be alone with someone else.
 
I'm quite an introvert myself, but like others, do a pretty decent job hiding it. And even though I've got a core group of buds who all share the same outdoor passions, most of us work different shifts. As result, getting out together as a group is quite rare. And for some reason, I'd much rather go with the group as a whole or totally alone, but not with just one other guy. I think it's because I'm cool with my own quietness, and can just blend in with the group, but don't care for making conversation just for conversation sake. I also really like just going alone, especially sea paddling.
 
I must be from another world 😜 I try to surround myself with my buddies as much as possible. I like solitude at times, but I have a great wife and great friends that have similar interests and I want them around when possible. Granted, it is less and less as we all are married with children.

This goes for outdoor activities as well. I could not stand the thought of going alone. I agree that it would have its benefits--helping to find oneself and such--but at this stage in my life count me in for group outings.
 
stabman said:
Many ancient and traditional societies had rites of passage that involved going off on one's own to find oneself.
In solitude, you don't have the distractions of others, or the bustle of everyday life; you are forced to commune with yourself.
Some people like that, some don't.

It also facilitates communion with God/gods/spirits, if they are part of your belief system.

There is also the thrill of self-reliance (if only as a momentary illusion), which is something one cannot have so much while immersed in a wider society.
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Well said. Many people are uncomfortable in silence these days, as they start to hear their own thought. I am not saying it is easy, not at all.

I had autumn break last week. I was spending first three days by myself and my dog in rural area. I loved every second of it. Then, my girl friend came to see me for day and a half and went back to our home as she had to return to work. That moment when she left I felt uncomfortable, out of place.
 
A.L. said:
Well said. Many people are uncomfortable in silence these days, as they start to hear their own thought. I am not saying it is easy, not at all.

I had autumn break last week. I was spending first three days by myself and my dog in rural area. I loved every second of it. Then, my girl friend came to see me for day and a half and went back to our home as she had to return to work. That moment when she left I felt uncomfortable, out of place.
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I know guys who will go hungry vs going to a restaurant by themselves. I never did get that. Don't know if they are just the uncomfortable with themselves or if they mistakenly think others will think ill of them.
 
I have a 4 year old and a set of 2 year old twins when I get a minute to myself I take it lol
 
"Spiritualism" plays no part in my need for solitude, especially when outdoors.

When I was younger I found that hiking with other people slowed me down. Everything took longer and became more complicated with less flexibility. Hiking speed, on-the-go changes, logistics, trip planning, meals, setting up camp... everything about group traveling was simply less enjoyable. And there was no sense of independent accomplishment at the end; whether you made it or not was completely dependent on whether the group made it or not.

Now that I'm older, I only hike alone so that no one else can see how slow I am. :D And of course the sense of independent accomplishment remains a critical part of why I go outdoors at all.

Not to mention the alignment of the stars necessary to even find a suitable hiking partner or group. Someone who has the same vacation schedule, the same level of physical fitness (good or bad), wants to do the same trips, hikes the same style and at the same speed... Not gonna happen.
 
redsquid2 said:
I am smiling as I type this. I guess people who are "spiritual" are supposed to seek solitude, huh? I think I am spiritually aware, but I do not like being alone for long periods of time, like more than overnight.


OK, but still, I think, "Why do it alone? Whether on a mountain or elsewhere, why?" I have an answer or two of my own, but I would like to get yours.

Thank you.

Andy/redsquid2
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I greatly appreciate my alone time, which never feels lonely to me. Because I spend my best alone time outdoors I feel great comfort and peace there. I am lucky enought to have some very close long term friends that I can phone, email, whatever...and vent or laugh with..............As for spirituality. I also try to be a spiritual person, with all my faults. We are human, so I try to clean up my garbage and cut myself some slack. Actually the place were I find it easiest to feel spiritual is the Boreal forest. Or secondarily, pretty much any little bushy spot or lake environment, I don"t need much. I am just as happy to take my wife perch fishing as to spend time by myself making tea in a little copse of trees. The older I get, the smaller and simpler my needs seem to be.
 
Bob W said:
"Spiritualism" plays no part in my need for solitude, especially when outdoors.

When I was younger I found that hiking with other people slowed me down. Everything took longer and became more complicated with less flexibility. Hiking speed, on-the-go changes, logistics, trip planning, meals, setting up camp... everything about group traveling was simply less enjoyable. And there was no sense of independent accomplishment at the end; whether you made it or not was completely dependent on whether the group made it or not.

Now that I'm older, I only hike alone so that no one else can see how slow I am. :D And of course the sense of independent accomplishment remains a critical part of why I go outdoors at all.

Not to mention the alignment of the stars necessary to even find a suitable hiking partner or group. Someone who has the same vacation schedule, the same level of physical fitness (good or bad), wants to do the same trips, hikes the same style and at the same speed... Not gonna happen.
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That strikes a chord with me.

I've always thought that the rounded individual should be just as happy with their own company as they are in the company of others. I am just as suspicious of those that can only do the “lone wolf” thing as I am of those that need others to bolster something missing in themselves. For me, different trips have different agendas. Sometimes alone is a paramount consideration, other times absolutely not that.

Beyond that, yeah, practical considerations. An obvious one for me is trying to take photos that go beyond snaps. I see zero point in lugging a camera that goes beyond what a phone can do just to take happy snaps with it. One sees it a lot. The Exif reveals they took a beast of a thing, took a high quality shot, but the content is just the same old tourist snap stuff, no better thought out than a granny capturing her mate after a bingo win. One of the things I really like about Owen's photos on here is that he takes the time to do a well thought out selfie. I know that if I am with others, and I try to take my time to do photos, that to others I probably drag like a child in a perpetual state of wonder that wants to look under every rock for critters - “FFS, do come on”. And I don't want to be hurried.

And yeah, what other people. There can be all sorts of reasons to filter others out, aptitude, wit, all sorts. To quote a dentist and climber mate I had, “it's at its best when you all fart the same flavour”. What happens when that doesn't work out. I'm sure these days with that social media crap folks just hook up after finding each other on Myface or Twatter, show up at the RV and hope for the best. That's always struck me as as fraught with risk as the socially inept using a dating agency. Hideous. I don't suppose it matters too much if you just want to sit around a fire [TV] with any old pig that can talk sports, but if your standards are higher keep your hand on your ha'penny, and don't settle for less even if that means being alone. I am blessed at the moment in as much as I have high quality choices either way. Yet I know if I did suffer a drought after it was over I'd be glad I didn't give it up easily. It is a standards thing.
 
Almost all my hiking camping has been solo
Lots of 10 day trips snowshoeing and backpacking when I was bound to a full time job
Lots of long distance backpacking, and bicycling and hiking trips, weeks at a time when I had more time
Alone

To be with the perfect harmony of nature
Peace and quiet, even when the wind was howling
I learnt a lot and am a better person because of it

I now go on painting vacation by myself
I go on day walks
I stop where I want and when I want
I paint at a scene till I want to move on
By no one's leave or permission
 
Neeman ... Honour to your life exploration. Shared. Yes.
 
I talk to my dog even when she's not there.
 
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