I don't want a cat

G Guy McVer : "I don't want a cat."

Also Guy: "I've spent a considerable amount of time and emotional energy domesticating and caring for a cat that now won't leave me alone."

Dude, I haven't interacted with you enough (if at all) on this forum to get to know you, so please don't take this the wrong way: Are you just trolling us for fun? How old are you? Again, honest question - I have no idea who's on the other side of the keyboard and I don't want to make assumptions. If you're anywhere north of 10 years old, you know the answers to your questions. If you're honestly 10 or younger, yes, it's your cat now. I don't know where you live, but here in Virginia the law on feral cats is pretty clear, and the actions you've taken mean you have legally assumed certain responsibilities for the animal. It's either yours for keeps, or rip the band-aid off and never have another interaction with it again so it can move on and figure out where to live and eat before winter, as it was happily doing before the two of you met.

PS: I recommend you go listen to Paula Abdul's song "Straight Up" while you try to decide...

Lost in a dream
I don't know which way to go (oh, let me say)
If you are all that you seem
Then baby, I'm movin' way too slow

I've been a fool before
Wouldn't like to get my love caught in the slammin' door
How about some information, please

Straight up now tell me
Do you really want to love me forever oh, oh, oh
Or am I caught in a hit-and-run?
Straight up now tell me
Is it gonna be you and me together oh, oh, oh
Or are you just having fun?

Time's standin' still
Waitin' for some (waitin' for some) small clue (oh, let me tell you)
I keep getting chills
When I think your love (when I think your love) is true

I've been a fool before
Wouldn't like to get my love caught in the slammin' door
How about some information, please?

Straight up now tell me
Do you really want to love me forever oh, oh, oh
Or am I caught in a hit-and-run?
Straight up now tell me
Is it gonna be you and me together oh, oh, oh
Or are you just having fun?

You are so hard to read
You play hide and seek with your true intentions
If you're only playin' games I'll just have to say
Bye-bye-bye-bye, bye-bye-bye-bye
Do, do you love me?
Do, do you love me, baby?
C'mon now, do, do you love me?
Do, do you love me?
Tell me baby?

I've been a fool before
Wouldn't like to get my love caught in the slammin' door
Are you more than hot for me?
Or am I a page in your history book?
I don't mean to make demands
But the word and the deed go hand in hand
How about some information, please (please, please, please)

Straight up now tell me, tell me
Straight up now tell me, tell me
Straight up now tell me, tell me
Straight up now tell me, tell me
Straight up now tell me, tell me

Straight up now tell me
Do you really want to love me forever oh, oh, oh
Or am I caught in a hit-and-run?
Straight up now tell me
Is it gonna be you and me together oh, oh, oh
Or are you just having fun?

Straight up now tell me
Do you really want to love me forever oh, oh, oh
Or am I caught in a hit-and-run?
Straight up now tell me
Is it gonna be you and me together oh, oh, oh
Or are you just having fun?

Straight up now tell me
Do you really want to love me forever oh, oh, oh
 
Another thing to consider is how the new area compares to the current one in terms of dangers to the cat (predators, traffic, asshole neighbors, etc). They can adapt to "different" over time, but dropping them into a more dangerous situation isn't fair to them. Also wouldn't be fair to try to make it an indoor cat.

So, I would say if you're pretty confident that the new area is similar in risks, and you have the means, take it with you.
 
Everything is going to be fine. I spoke with some of the neighbors again and it turns out that the cat had been getting more friendly with them right around the same time that I started reaching out to it, so it seems my plan to condition it so that could be more reliant on humans kinda worked out. They said it would start going up to them more and more and ask for pets and stuff and even would come inside a little bit. That was nice to hear. Oh and they've also been feeding it too, so that probably helped a whole lot! Food motivation for the win.

One of the neighbors suggested that I get a little enclosure for the cat to use in the cold weather, so that's what I'm doing right now. I'm making one since they didn't really have anything really weather-proof here locally. They had one that claims to be an outdoor cat home, but it's made from this soft fabric stuff which is clearly not weather proof. So I'm making one that's going to keep the rain out, then I'm going to shove some of my dirty clothes in it for a little bit (for the scent), then put a nice fluffy blanket in there and a cushion. Then I'll put the bowl of food in there and a little treat to coax the cat in so I can be the one to introduce the cat to it so it knows it's safe inside. The neighbor is going to keep it and put food in there regularly so that the cat has some place to go inside when it gets cold and wet during the winter.

It's going to be fine, and building this thing is making me feel a lot better. My heart was seriously breaking. You guys have no idea.
 
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Okay so I finished building the cat shelter. It's really stupid looking because I'm pressed for time and I'm not a master carpenter, but it will at least last for the winter. The cat was curious about it because I made sure to show it off a few times while I was making it. I had my dirty clothes directly exposed to it for a good part of the process as well. When I finally brought it out, the cat was curious but didn't want to go in. So I just made sure it saw me put one of its favorite treats in the food bowl that I feed it in, and I put the bowl in the cat shelter. Once it could smell the food, the cat went right in.

So far so good. The cat was so busy eating that it didn't even mind when I let the cat flap close. Hopefully it gets used to the flap. I might have to use food to motivate it a few more times just so it understands the flap.
 
We have been adopted by a neighborhood feral. It took me about a year or so of feeding it before it would let me pet it. It let my 5 year old daughter pet it the first week I turned over feeding duties to her. It also let my wife pet it almost immediately. It is still skittish around me for some reason 😂 Meet Stella Luna (my daughter named her)
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norcalAF said:
It took me about a year or so of feeding it before it would let me pet it. It let my 5 year old daughter pet it the first week I turned over feeding duties to her. It also let my wife pet it almost immediately. It is still skittish around me for some reason
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You probably have different mannerisms. Cats pick up on that stuff. They are very sensitive about body language and movements, and they respond better to soft quiet vocalizations than they do to loud talking, direct eye contact, and sudden or quick movements.

One really useful thing to do is to slowly blink your eyes closed and look slightly away whenever your gazes meet. This demonstrates trust and shows that you're not a threat. A predator or a rival would lock eyes or fixate their vision on the cat. That's why it makes them nervous when you stare at them or lock eyes with them. It puts them on edge. It's an instinctive reaction and it really helps to be mindful of it if you're trying to gain their trust. It's also probably why cats seem to more often approach people who are disinterested in them.

Some animals just like either men or women better. It might be because of past trauma from one sex or the other, or it could just be their personality. When there is a preference like that, I've found that it's usually women that the animal prefers.
 
Guy McVer said:
You probably have different mannerisms. Cats pick up on that stuff. They are very sensitive about body language and movements, and they respond better to soft quiet vocalizations than they do to loud talking, direct eye contact, and sudden or quick movements.

One really useful thing to do is to slowly blink your eyes closed and look slightly away whenever your gazes meet. This demonstrates trust and shows that you're not a threat. A predator or a rival would lock eyes or fixate their vision on the cat. That's why it makes them nervous when you stare at them or lock eyes with them. It puts them on edge. It's an instinctive reaction and it really helps to be mindful of it if you're trying to gain their trust. It's also probably why cats seem to more often approach people who are disinterested in them.

Some animals just like either men or women better. It might be because of past trauma from one sex or the other, or it could just be their personality. When there is a preference like that, I've found that it's usually women that the animal prefers.
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Yea, I'm thinking it's a past trauma thing, the cat will jump on my lap on occasion, and let me pet it pretty regularly, but is still skittish on occasion. I grew up with barn cats, and they all have their individual ways 😂
 
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