I work at a knife store... please let me vent

M

Matriculate

Joined
Nov 13, 2000
Messages
22
I work at a local knife shop part time. We have horribly marked up prices, poor selection, and plenty of crap. Despite that, I like working around all of these knives. We do have some good stuff.

Anyway.... this is the kind of stuff I have to deal with almost every day of work:

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Customer: Do you sell switchblades?
Me: No. That is illegal here in MD.
Customer: But I can buy one at the flea market for $2!
What I'd like to say: FINE IDIOT. GO COMMIT A FELONY BY PURCHASING A PIECE OF CRAP THAT WOULD COST YOU A FINGER OR TWO IF IT ONLY HAD A DECENT EDGE ON IT.

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Customer: I have had a 'such-and-such' kitchen knife for 12 years and I have never sharpened it. Do you have any of these knives? They never need sharpening!
(They are not pleased with our selection of Henkels and Wusthofs)
Me: There is no such thing as a knife that never needs to be sharpened.
Customer: Yes there is! I have one! I've never sharpened it!
What I'd like to say: YOU, SIR, ARE A MORON. YOUR KNIFE IS PROBABLY SO DULL I COULD FALL ONTO ITS "POINT" WITH MY BELLY AND SUFFER NO INJURY. I'M SURE THAT YOU CAN ONLY "CUT" THINGS IN YOUR KITCHEN BY APPLYING ALL OF YOUR BODY WEIGHT TO THE SPINE OF YOUR KNIFE.

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Customer: Why does this Benchmade butterfly knife cost so much money? Why don't I just get this $20 butterfly knife on your other shelf instead?
Me: (I then spend a long time demonstrating the huge difference in quality and material between the two knives)
Customer: I still don't see why is it so much more: they don't look that different.

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Customer: WOW! (Pointing to any large knife) It would really hurt to get stabbed with that thing!
(I crack a fake smile and nod)
What I'd like to say: REALLY? YOU THINK? HOW DID YOU FIGURE THAT OUT? MAYBE IT'S THE FACT THAT ANY FOREIGN OBJECT PENETRATING YOUR FLESH TENDS TO INDUCE PAIN... HMMMMM.....

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Customer: Jeez! What is that thing for, killing?
What I'd like to say: YES YOU IDIOT. THAT FOUR INCH FOLDING KNIFE IS MADE FOR KILLING PEOPLE. IT'S GREAT: WE TEST THEM OUT IN BACK. IT'S CALLED THE KILLATRON 4000.

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Customer: Do you have the OJ knife? ha ha ha ha

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Then I get the jerks who want to handle every knife over $100, get their dirty fingerprints all over it, flick it open as hard as they can and basically abuse the S**T out of it in the few minutes I let them hold it. They never buy anything of course. After handling a thousand dollars worth of merchandise they humoursly mention the fact that they have no money and then leave. THANK YOU FOR WASTING MY TIME AND MESSING UP MY MERCHANDISE.

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There are also some bad things about the store itself:
We are told to sell certain items. We recieve comission for these knives. This means that no matter what you need for whatever purpose one of my co-workers will tell you that this is the knife you need. Then they will show you all the bells and whistles (which are actually horrible). It's pretty amazing actually. I have seen one coworker argue that a liner lock's inability to hold the blade in the handle was a "safety feature." He showed how "dangerous" lockbacks are since they "snap" closed. :rolleyes:

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Customer: Do you need a permit to buy one of those?
Me: no.
Customer: Anyone can buy one of those? That's SCARY!
What I'd like to say: what's scary is that people like you can reproduce!

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Customer: (pointing to Gill Hibben knife) What would you use that for?
Me: It's a display piece: it's not for use
Customer: So why would you buy it?
Me: people collect them
Customer: What about that one? (pointing to another obviously non-functional knife)
Me: It's a display piece
Customer: What about that one? (pointing to medieval axe)
Me: It's for carving turkey :rolleyes:

---------------------------

Customer: I carry this knife "just in case."
What I'd like to say: Great. I'm sure you know how to use it since you are so flaggrently playing with it and you refer to it that way in the first place. I'm glad that you keep it so rusty and dull as well. I hope no one is dumb enough to mess with you :rolleyes:

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I could go on and on and on..... hope I didn't offend anyone. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm sure I'll add more to this later on.
 
Sounds to me like you need to get into another line of work!

Have you considered selling guns?
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

togo.gif
 
I worked in a retail store for two years right out of high school. And yep, I have heard all of those almost word for word. My favorite is when you get the Cutco Salesman trying to tell you what a POS the Four Star is. My boss used to kick them out of the shop (loved that part).

Wait to you hit the Christmas rush, now that is a nightmare.

The nice thing about the shop I worked in was that it was owned by Max Kragten. He was one of the biggest reps for Gerber (now retired). He was personal friends for Gerber, Kershaw, Al Mar and many others. These guys (when they were alive) used to stop by once in a while. Now that was cool.

We never worked on commission. And were told to push the truely best knife for the need. The only thing we got was a end of year bonus from some factories if we sold over a set dollar amount of their products. Got some nice knives that way.

Well, hope you feel better after your vent ;)
 
Interesting to hear thoughts from the people on the other side of the counter.

Some of those comments I've heard before at work (IT customer support) - I guess morons will be morons the world over. Lots of self-control is sometimes required...

Andrew Limsk
 
Great post that made me smile.
It is interesting that the many of the same questions were asked when I used to sell at knife shows.
 
i hear ya matriculate.....sounds like the same people who frequent your shop also attend some of the gun/knife shows here in memphis....i often get to help mike payne of knives and things out at a show here and there and its amazing what the general public will do and say....i dont know how many times i have let some popcorn grease dripping self proclaimed expert handle a high quality auto only to be told its too expensive and he can get an auto across the show for 5 bucks all the while smearing his greasy fingers all over the blade and working the action like he will never get to handle a knife again.....mike will often times gently remove the knife from the guy's hand and direct him politely to the table with the pos chinese autos

you should try my line of work where everybody and their dog is an AAD----also a doctor---but for the most part dont have any clue....."my cousin's third wife's uncle's mistress read about it on the internet so we know whats going on here"....i just keep my mouth shut and grin and do the right thing for their loved one
 
Retail sales has got to be the worst.
You see the average Joe, all day, every day.
The average Joe (AJ) is out wandering around during normal business hours for reasons that escape me.
The AJ has an average IQ of 100.
You also see below-average Joe. His IQ is lower still.

The AJ has a minor struggle every day to just exist and make ends meet. They struggle to not wreck their cars. They alternate between struggle and inattentively floating through their shopping trip to the grocery or Walmart. AJ yells at his kids as a routine. AJ doesn't read much, doesn't study anything, and believes most of what he hears on TV and radio.

AJ has an entitlement mindset and votes for Democrats, since they stick up for the working man in the transfer of wealth scheme. AJ thinks health care is something he deserves, not a service and privilege he can enjoy if he works hard enough to pay for it.

AJ has little common sense... the term is a misnomer anyway. Common sense is uncommon.

AJ can only see his point of view. AJ can only argue one side of an issue. AJ is close minded, AJ is dogmatic, and AJ wants you to know it.

I'm glad I don't have to put up with AJ day-in, day-out. It would drive me bananas.

Wow. That was a cynical post. :confused: Retail...whew.
 
Hey Matriculate, I feel your pain.
But your post did make me smile.
Lenny
 
Try being a photographer!

"Can you make me look thin?"
"I never take a good picture!"
"What film do you use?"
"Why are your prices so high?"
"Don't you think my 6 month old should go into modeling?"
"Just how big is an 8 x 10?"
ETC. ETC. ETC.
 
Mart,

I know exactly what you are going through. I used to work at International Cutlery (formerly Hoffritz). I dealt with these people everyday and it drove me nuts. These people had a total lack of knowledge about anything knife related. I especially hated when the punk kids came in looking to buy a knife so they can "protect themselves". Even if they were over 18 I kicked them out, they were a waste of my time and was not going to contribute to there delinquency. I had been threatened a few times by scumbag kids I kicked out of the store, but a quick flash of the AFCK in my pocket and they thought better about making good on it. Retail knife selling is the pits in a store that carried crap. I'm glad my satore went under.
 
Matriculate,

You must work at a Chesapeake Knife & Tool. I use to work at one. 20% knives, 80% collectibles....definately over-priced. But I agree they have some cool stuff too.

I opened my own knife store last year. We have gone from people buying pos knives, and cheap swords to the same people buying quality. The same people that use to wonder why the major quality brands cost so much more than the cheap Paki stuff, are now telling me how reasonable my prices are. They have gone from $50 swords to CAS Iberia Practical Katanas ($229.95).

The biggest reason is education. I give out these and other good forum addresses all the time. I copy good knife reviews to show them. We sell the major knife magazines at discount to get them to read and think. Unfortunately CK&T doesn't seem to understand.

Yes we still get plenty of truly stupid questions. When they ask about switchblades, I show them the speed assisted and explain they are as fast, and legal. If they insist on an auto, I show them the SOG switch pliers. If they don't seem to want to learn I start playing with their minds and gently pick on them, especially if they keep coming back. If you recognize them each time and talk to them, they feel SPECIAL. Eventually, I will even harass them and ask them if they will EVER buy anything.

I truely believe the sheeple were put on this earth for my express entertainment! Sheeple can however graduate to a good customer, but I have fun with them until then. (I can probably get away with more sarcastic harassment because I am a girl)

Chesapeake Knife and Tool is my closest competition, and probably my best advertisement aid. Their prices are outragous! Most of the sales clerks don't know much (at least at the store closest to me). Their bonus structure doesn't help. They have become more of a collectible store than a knife store. I know some of the people, and they are nice guys. I just wish they would go back to being a real knife store instead of a politically correct knife store. (But hey, if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be where I am today!)

Sorry this turned out so long,

Pam
 
I walked into a local CK&T store at a nearby MD mall a few months ago. I found it a highly amusing experience. Everything was grossly overpriced, and the sales people tried really hard to sell me things I did not want, need, or appreciate. One of them kept flicking various knives in front of me in a vain attempt to impress me with his obvious manual dexterity, cleverness, and all-around knife knowledge. So I toyed with them for a while. It went something like this:

Sales clerk: "this knife is made from actual metal"

Me: "No, ****"

Sales cleark: "Thats right, real 440A, the best knife steel available

Me: "No, ****"

Sales clerk: "look at how fast I can open this knife"

Me: "No, ****"

Sales clerk: "I think Benchmade makes the highest quality production knives available.

Me: "No, ****"

Sales clerk: "Oh, we don't have any Custom knives except for these Chris Reeve Sebenza's

Me: "Those are not custom knives. They were made in a factory by several people and received an award at the Blade show a couple years ago for Best Production Knife Company"

Sales Clerk: "Wow, I did not know that"

Me: "No, ****"

Sales clerk (after a long talk about steel types, edge geometry): "Wow, you seem to know more about my job than I do!"

Me: "No, ****"

Me: "I participate in a knife discussion forum on the internet called Blade Forums. You should check it out. You might learn something.

Sales clerk: "Oh, I don't have time for that ****"

Me: "No, ****"

Sales clerk: "Aren't you interesting in buying anything today?"

Me: "No, ****"

Paracelsus, knower of ****

Apologies for those who may be offended by my frequent use of the word ****, which will be censored automatically, leaving a disgusting and repulsive gratuitous display of vulgar emotive characters on your screen. For that, I am truly sorry

;)
 
Jeez, I'm lucky. My local store is high priced but most of the salesclerks are knowledgeable. Twice they've actually recommeded that I buy lower end stuff after hearing what I was going to use it for.
 
These stories do not suprise me. I have a theory:

%80-%85 of all people lack common sense and are happy to muddle about as if nothing else is happening on the planet.
 
alchemy knife makes a very good point about education......or the lack thereof.....that to many people
share about cutlery (or a lot of other subjects). In our very busy,crowded, overburdened lives now
way to many of use depend on ......advertising to spoon feed us our education. I sell a few knives to my
co-workers and friends from time to time to support my knife habit. What I've enjoyed the most is educating
them about good cutlery in general. I won't sell them anything less than they need and if they don't know I
ask them to think about it for awhile then come back and tell me. Why the major knife makers don't
have any T.V. ads is beyond me. Not in the general press either. I seems that they depend on the knifenuts
of the world to buy all the knives. I wonder if this is because the average kid can't carry a pocket knife
the way we used to when I was a kid. That's how we learned about a knife and what it was for. We
also learned what made a good knife. Seems that slowly but surely the mis- informed will make up
tomorrows truth.
 
rdangerer:
Thanks for the great description og the "average Joe." It will come in handy ;)
 
Mat
Great post I have overheard a couple of the things you mentioned in our local B&M store. The killing one is my favorite though cause just about all of us here have had it said to us at one time or the other."Hey man who you gonna kill with that thing?"
:rolleyes:
Bob
 
lmao para! :D

too bad theres not an AG Russell in every town...suckers!

heaven.
a place where they know what theyre talking about,have a good selection,and you can find some good deals!
 
Thanks for a fun post. I never went into to retail, the field I work in the "customer" is always wrong:D I had a friend in college who worked at a gun store. He would come home with some really crazy stories. I feel for retail people, just goes to show that coomon scense isn't all that common.
 
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