Maybe to ease the pressure on some of the kids here who have not been around as long as I have and might be concerned let me put all this into perspective.
Know what I'm doing right now? Drinking a Heineken and smoking a Camel. And I may go to the Peppermill a little later and play some nickle video poker and drink and smoke until midnight. That's the way I've lived my life and that's the way I'll live it to the end. For all you old sailors it's "Damn the torpedos! Full speed ahead!"
My Buddhist faith serves me well. I have no fear. If this is my time then I'll meet the journey with curiosity and confidence. I have already had my funeral -- strange to some but not to Buddhists --so that's covered.
If I have any regrets it will be these. I don't want to leave Yangdu and that is sad and bothersome. I worry about the kamis because I know although she'll try her best Yangdu can't run this business alone as well as both of us together. And, believe it or not, I think I'll miss the forum and forumites.
We prepare for the worst and hope and pray for the best. But one thing's for sure -- I sure as hell don't look forward to all those needles and knives!!!!
Last, my utmost thanks to all who took and take the time to pray for me -- but remember prayers work so be careful what you pray for.
And let me repeat. Don't worry. I'll be fine no matter how this plays out. Help Yangdu if things go to hell -- or should I say me? She'll need it.
Thanks again and kids don't worry. There is a time to live and a time to die. Life goes on. Live yours well and try to live it so in the end you will have few regrets.
Special blessings to all.