I'm a lying sack of excrement.

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BruiseLeee

BruiseLeee

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I worked with a relative for a bunch of years until he got fired for not doing his job a couple of weeks ago. Now at the family Christmas gathering the word going around is that he got laid off due to downsizing. The company isn't doing too badly. He didn't come to the "shindig".

I don't get along with the guy in general but in order to save this guy's face I had to fabricate a few stories. Not too much detail and a lot of avoidance of questions :( Haven't done that much lying in a long time. I feel a little queasy. :barf:

Dunno, just thought I'd vent. :yawn:

I like knives.
 
Well, you may not like the guy, but what you did shows grace if nothing else. Only you know if what he really needed was confrontation. Maybe in private.


munk
 
Modifying of the truth is not lying....sorta
You did what you had to do. You will feel better when you have the time to think about it.
And budy doesnt have to look bad.

Some times carma (spelling?) comes back in strange ways.

You (in my small opinion) did right!
 
I had to fabricate a few stories. Not too much detail and a lot of avoidance of questions Haven't done that much lying in a long time. I feel a little queasy.
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I don't think avoidance in the case of gossip or speaking ill of another (especially while they are not there to defend themselves) is bad at all. If people pressure you beyond that into making up stuff it likely means to me THEY were trying to engage in gossip and wanted to dig up the dirt...

Maybe work on your "Don't know for sure, why don't you give him/her a call? Where's the cranberry sauce btw?"---"Maybe you didn't hear me the first time on this subject, I don't know for sure, now where is the cranberry sauce?" ;) Prblem with coming straight out and saying "I don't gossip" to someone is #1 the offense factor and #2 it insinuates that the other person DID do something wrong. It's just hard to beat them wagging tounges at there own game ain't it:grumpy:

JMHO
 
I guess you saved his honor by scaraficing yours. Only you know if was worth it.:(

I know most, if not all the religions preach to do what you did. Besides he might just wake up and become a better man because of BruiseLeee.:)
 
Been there, done that, same feeling. Hope it all works out okay. At my worplace, the Plant Mgr. brought his nephew out from Montana to work off a debt to his Grandmother. The fool thought he was being taken in by a new benevolent part of his family. They shook him down for his paycheck every week, he got $25 to spend. When the debt was paid, Christmas Eve, he was fired, and tossed out by his Grandmother. Today, he leaves again for Montana. What games, families sometimes play.
 
Bruise,
What is done is done.

You made your choice, and will have to learn to live with it. But honestly as far as bad choices go this isn't exactly fatal.

If I'm asked about something that I don't want to talk about I normally just tell the inquisator to ask the person involved. Anything from me will be third hand at best.


Hmmm Ever noticed how much dog hair can hide underneath your keyboard?
 
For whatever it might be worth -- Bhuddist philosophy recongnizes several degrees of untruth and the karma for each is fashioned according to the deed. Example: If you lie on the witness stand and send an innocent man to his death you get max bad karma. If you tell an ugly person he doesn't look so bad you might even get a couple of good karma points. Bottom line is you must judge yourself -- sooner or later.

My advice is to go easy on yourself.
 
Bruise,

First, go back in your time-machine. Then...

I think many of us have been there, done that, and felt too guilty to wear the t-shirt. My guess is that, had you tried to defer the questions to the missing party, no one would have let up on asking you what happened. After all, if you won't say, it's got to be good gossip and who cares about propriety when it's family?

Considering the circumstances, I think that you made the best choice available at the time. It doesn't feel good, but at least you won't remember the time you spoke ill behind your relative's back, because you didn't.
 
Bruise, I think that's what used to be called a "white lie" - modifying the hard truth to protect another ("Honey, that's a great-looking dress.") Don't beat yourself up for being kind.
 
I'm proud of you Bruise!!!!:D Now brush your teeth several times a day to try and wash the taste outta your mouth, doesn't work but it made me feel a little better under similar circumstances.:rolleyes:
:grumpy:
 
Originally posted by BruiseLeee
I don't get along with the guy in general but in order to save this guy's face I had to fabricate a few stories. Haven't done that much lying in a long time. I feel a little queasy. :barf:
Dunno, just thought I'd vent. :yawn:
I like knives. [/B]
Click to expand...


I'm confused. Why did you think you had to try to save anyone's face?

The way I understand
a lie is when you speak words that you know are not true.

A falsehood is when you think the words you speak are true but they actually are not.Scientific progress is continuously turning falsehoods into temporary incomplete truth's.For instance,in certain tribal cultures your flu is caused by a evildoer who has cast a spell.But here in the USA we might believe your flu is caused by the Chinese releasing their viruses on us.

You might feel a lot better if you ask yourself what was your payoff in doing all the machinations that you felt you had to do regarding saving this fellow's face. What would have happened if you had said
nothing at all. What if you had said to questions that you felt would have been more appropriately directed to the fellow,"You'll have to ask him."

I wonder what "they" would have said if you told them that he was caught with a Hillary Clinton Blow-up doll in his locker and subsequently fired.

Venting like debt is GOOD.;)

I've found that responding to a question by asking a question will almost always change the subject.
When nosey people ask something you have no intention of answering just ask "why
would you ask ME--- something like that? Or ,"why do you want to know that?" Then watch'em skedaddle. ;)
 
Robert A. Heinlin once wrote something to the effect that a skunk is better company that a man who prides himself on telling only the truth in social situations.
 
Bruise, for my money, you did the right thing. Smearing the exact truth all over a family get-together is NOT the way to ensure a happy holiday.
 
Bruise, if you hooked everybody up to a lie detector the darn thing would blow up more often than not. That certainly doesn't justify lying. I'm just trying to point out that it's a hard thing for most humans to avoid in certain situations. Why? Because nobody's perfect.

The fact that you feel guilty about it means you aren't fond of lying, and will think twice about doing it again. That makes you a decent person right there. Don't let the guilt trip consume you, and just go back to doing what you do best at this forum -- making us laugh! :) :D
 
I don't have advise for you. Just saying that I'm glad I wasn't in your place.

I'd give you points for trying to keep from saying anything bad about him. I think. OTOH, you got sandbagged, sucker punched by someone when they asked, far as I'm concerned whether they meant to do it or not. In that case there is to my mind diminished responsibility. I don't think on my feet well, so I'm not going to tell you you flubbed.

Go ahead and figure out a better response for the next time you're in a situation like that. But if you do that, the anser will still probably evaporate under pressure and leave your mind wondering what to say. Kind of a deer caught in the headlights effect.
 
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