I'm in a quandary.

[kronckew]

they were on strike for a week, NOBODY is supposed to be able to sneak up on a vampire! their professional feelings were hurt. but it was funny to see them jump like that squealing when they saw you. that one you tapped on the shoulder and said 'excuse me..' almost had a heart attack even tho his of course doesn't beat anyway. they were mollified by the donation of those quarts to their blood bank. luckily they didn't show up in the CCTV, being vampires. we erased the videos. they were drunk for a few days, tho i won't ask where you got the 120 proof blood from, i guess the did not come from bloody marys - i asked her. the trunk monkeys in the car pool still giggle about it whenever one of the vampires drifts by.

 

[Bigbore577]

I'm so blessed to have so many good friends here willing to lend a helping hand. Unfortunately, my faithful Chihuahua has scuttled all the 150+ on my first anniversary to his safe space. His adopted mother, my wife, could possibly find out the facts. He's secretly looking out for me, the little dickens, I think he's a double agent.

 

[kronckew]

when she eventually sez "it's me or the dog!" choose the dog. they're cheaper to feed (especially the chihuahuas), they don't drive your car, don't ask for money, don't smoke or drink your booze, are way easier to train, easier to clean up after, are more loyal (if you get them spayed/neutered). they'll warm your feet in bed instead of warming their cold feet on you. and they are always happy to see you when you get home and love to cuddle on the couch while you watch what YOU want on TV...for other duties hire a cook/maid/opair, etc. ...and when they get pregnant, you can sell the kids. (see bit above on spaying, i did have my 2nd wife spayed (tubal ligation) as a birthday present - at her request)

the test:

put your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car. come back in an hour. which one is happy to see you?

 

[Shavru]

put your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car. come back in an hour. which one is happy to see you?

Don't put them in together... they will conspire on what they will do to you when they get out. especially a chihuahua, little blighters will turn on your in a heart beat if she offers him tacos.

 

[ndoghouse]

when she eventually sez "it's me or the dog!" choose the dog. they're cheaper to feed (especially the chihuahuas), they don't drive your car, don't ask for money, don't smoke or drink your booze, are way easier to train, easier to clean up after, are more loyal (if you get them spayed/neutered). they'll warm your feet in bed instead of warming their cold feet on you. and they are always happy to see you when you get home and love to cuddle on the couch while you watch what YOU want on TV...for other duties hire a cook/maid/opair, etc. ...and when they get pregnant, you can sell the kids. (see bit above on spaying, i did have my 2nd wife spayed (tubal ligation) as a birthday present - at her request)

the test:

put your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car. come back in an hour. which one is happy to see you?

You forgot the part about dogs dont have opposing thumbs. Dew claws maybe but they cant ATM all the money out of your account because they cant hold the card ...and even if they did manage to get into your account the last thing they want to do is spend your money to go get their hair done and nails trimmed.

Uhh...Selling the kids dont get rid of them btw. Trust me

 

[kronckew]

... the last thing they want to do is spend your money to go get their hair done and nails trimmed.

Uhh...Selling the kids dont get rid of them btw. Trust me

...poppy has discovered the doggy groomers at the local pets-at-home store where i have an account. no card needed. never underestimate the vanity of a pooch.

i forgot to mention the bit where after you sell the kids, you move overseas. my son came to live with me when he was 16, but the govt. threw him out when he hit 18. he had thumbs.

 

[ndoghouse]

...poppy has discovered the doggy groomers at the local pets-at-home store where i have an account. no card needed. never underestimate the vanity of a pooch.

i forgot to mention the bit where after you sell the kids, you move overseas. my son came to live with me when he was 16, but the govt. threw him out when he hit 18. he had thumbs.

Dang ...I forgot to tell the government mine had thumbs. That was the checkbox right next to the "Do you wish to donate $1 to the presidential fund?" on your tax return wasnt it? I musta checked "No" on the count aint no modern POTUS worth $1. Govment didnt care about me when I turned 18 but I did have to register. I was between Vietnam and middle east conflicts. I think the only thing going on at the time was in Bosnia. I wanted to fly but decided to go to school instead. Looking back now I wish id have signed up.

 

[kronckew]

wouldn't pay $1 for hillary either.most men look at a woman and think "would i?" - 99/100 the answer is yes. she's the remaining 1/100. even bill thinks so.

disclaimer: no cats were harmed during the production of this thread, any resemblance to any thumb-less individuals, living or dead, human or otherwise, is purely coincidental. political comments are not necessarily those of the management, and are intended to be gender neutral, as is the democratic POTUS candidate. trump at least has a cool trophy wife. she's definitely in the 99.

remember when you vote for the potus, you also get as 1st lady either

or

 

[ndoghouse]

Ha! First ladies! Who wouldda thunk it? Thats going to look pretty funny in the white house where they hang all the pics of the first ladies of the presidency. Nancy Reagan, Barbara Bush, Michelle Obama...Then theres Bill Clinton smokin a cigar with a shot eatin grin. Just dont look right?

 

[Jens Schuetz]

Ha! First ladies! Who wouldda thunk it? Thats going to look pretty funny in the white house where they hang all the pics of the first ladies of the presidency. Nancy Reagan, Barbara Bush, Michelle Obama...Then theres Bill Clinton smokin a cigar with a shot eatin grin. Just dont look right?

Call it first spouses then and after the second female president it'll be just normal to see guys among those pictures. Unless of course the second female president is married to a woman. Then male first spouses might only be normal after the third female president or fourth.

 

[kronckew]

they will the "presidental significant other" or PSO. why limit yourself to an old fashioned marriage. or to a human. they might prefer a sheep or a goat, camel's i hear can be affectionate. don't try a panda tho.

p.s. - i'll continue to call billy the first lady tho, just to annoy him.

 

[Jens Schuetz]

they will the "presidental significant other" or PSO. why limit yourself to an old fashioned marriage. or to a human. they might prefer a sheep or a goat, camel's i hear can be affectionate. don't try a panda tho.

p.s. - i'll continue to call billy the first lady tho, just to annoy him.

Lol. Pet Rock.

 

[ndoghouse]

they will the "presidental significant other" or PSO. why limit yourself to an old fashioned marriage. or to a human. they might prefer a sheep or a goat, camel's i hear can be affectionate. don't try a panda tho.

p.s. - i'll continue to call billy the first lady tho, just to annoy him.

Me Too! He still needs that cigar tho Wonder if I can write in a goat?

 

[Bookie]

Hmmmm. Here I'm gone for a few days and I come back and read shocking information. "the dire wolves miss those little meaty treats you fed them. i think you called them, euphemistically i hope, 'lady fingers'. looked more like buffalo wings to me tho. real buffalo (or more properly 'Bison') ones of course. they loved the fatty hump and chewed on the shoulder blades for days." Wow! All I can say is HOW did I survive it all? I simply never knew my first wife was wunna them "dire wolves"! I used to throw her a bone and she'd drag it around the house, grunt, and be sorta contented for a while. Dire wolf. Imagine that. No wonder her Momma was so hairy....and all this time I was thinking that she was some of Bawanna's kin.......