Introduce a brand.

Cart............................Horse.

I've been there. Hell, I'm still there.

What's your mission? Your actual business mission? What is your "why?" It's not about the knives.

I'm refraining from commenting on the actual knife, but I will say this. If you can't take the time to finish out one or two prototypes properly, why should I as a customer ever believe you will take the proper time to finish the final product?? Don't start out by saying, "I'll do it later." You get one chance to impact a potential customer. There won't be a later. Even if you make a killer and clean knife on CNC, all I will ever remember is a prototype that looks like crap. Sorry. Only tough love here. Look at my subforum, you'll see I don't parse words or feelings.
 
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As you may have guessed, I have a bit of writing experience. I looked at the site again, and the things that really un-impressed me are :

1) The site is to sell knives ... and there isn't a full, clear, multi-direction photo of even one finished knife.
You should have photos from four detections, all being clear and full shots of your knives. The knives should be fully finished ( except on production shots) and free of dust and glare.

2) Starbucks coffee????? what in the world were you thinking when you put that on your home page photo? A micrometer would have been a lot smarter.


3) The "About" page is where people get a feeling of a personal relationship with you. It is probably the most important page people read when making a decision to buy your product. Your page seems to ramble and go nowhere, and is overly filled with adjectives and adverbs (eg). You need to take a serious look at it and make some changes if you plan on it selling you and your product. This page should be fairly short, and your is about right. Maybe a bit more about you and the company would be useful, like mentioning the CNC process or what university you received your three degrees from. It should flow in the order of - Say who you are .... Say why you are that way .... Say what your philosophy is. The standard format is "Opening mission statement", "Brief history and introduction", "Closing statement with a memorable signature line". (When you are done reading this post, look back and you will see that this is the order it is in.)

It is hard to figure what you are trying to convey to the customer.
The second sentence starts for no reason with a conjunction and ends on a different subject. "And we have cut our teeth by hard work, grit and pure passion to bring you these premium American made tools to assist whatever your lifestyle throws your way"

".... unrivaled attention to detail ...", that is a huge statement to make for someone just learning to make knives and who hasn't sold any yet.. Many readers will say, "Yeah, right", and click the back button. Phrases like, "close attention to detail", will convey the idea better.

The order of the information is also all wrong.

This should be your opening "Mission statement" not a second closing line.
" The pursuit of building a premium product never comes easy - Purpose, Performance, Passion

Starting from the beginning by earning educational degrees in ergonomics, engineering and business we learned young that achieving goals takes pure grit. By growing up outdoors we developed a sense for what needs are essential when you are in the woods, backcountry, underwater and daily life. "

This should be your closing line
" We are adventurers, survivalists and explorers of our world and these are the tools we proudly carry to keep us safe and secure.

We are Vital. Are you?"

This is a good catch line, but it would be better stated with an ellipses to link the two phrases instead of two sentences. "We are Vital ... Are You?" I can actually see that on the front of a T-shirt with "Vital Knives" on the back.


I have no idea what this sentence even means, and I doubt a visitor to your site would spend any time trying to figure it out. You make a big statement, and then walk away from it.
"Growing up outdoors we developed a deeply adept sense for what needs are essential when you’re in the woods, backcountry, underwater and daily life in general."

You can develop deep respect for something, but can't be deeply adept anymore than you can be deeply pregnant. Also, woods and backcountry are redundant.
The sentence needs to be re-worked something like this:
"Growing up in the outdoors, we developed a deep respect for the things that are essential for survival in the backcountry, underwater, and daily life."

The above is all fairly easy to fix. Getting people to believe in your product is a lot harder.
Work hard, stick with it, and always be open to criticism and advice.
 
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I appreciate that feedback! What I am going to do today is set up the website as a place marker until the finished tools are complete. Thanks all.
 
Thank you everyone once again. I have: redone my construction process to maintain the quality but reduce the cost, started tweaking the arrangement of the content in the about section, and I will be waiting until my products are finished to relaunch the site. Thank you everyone. I launched a few weeks too early.
 
The "About" page is improved.

The warranty page has a lot that reads wrong.

First, a warranty is a trust agreement between two people about a product. It should not be generalized, overly verbose, or refer to anything but the knife in the owners hand. It should talk directly about the relationship between you and him. Use words like your, our, you, the knife, etc. It should be about the warranty, not a second mission statement. Avoid comments that sound like you expect the knife to fail. Lastly, it should be short and to the point.


Warranty

Our knives are tools. We don't have an interest in designing wall art. We appreciate beautiful tools as much as anyone but one of our key principles is purpose so please, use our knives to their fullest extent? If they break please reach out to us and we will be happy to replace any of our purchased tools due to damage. This policy only applies to our finished knives, our knife kits are not covered under our warranty policy. This policy will allow customers to focus on the task at hand.

I get what you are saying in the highlighted area, but you should either move the comma to after "purpose" or use a dash. And why is the warranty statement a question??? Knives don't have a "fullest extent" unless you are referring to the point. The user can use them to the fullest extent. It would go better something like this:

" ...... one of our key principles is purpose, so use your knife to the fullest extent. "
" ...... one of our key principles is purpose - please use your knife to the fullest extent. "



Reach out to us, "their", knives, happily, etc.

The entire warranty refers to the tools as plural and is filled with extra words. Unless there is a set of knives being sold, or you expect all the knives you make to fail, it should be singular after the opening statement. " .... If one of our knives breaks in use, send it back and we will .... "



A simple "to the point" re-write would be:

Our Warranty

We don't make art ... we make tools ... and our knives are made to be used. We appreciate beautiful tools as much as anyone but our key principles are durability and function - so use your knife to the fullest extent. If your knife breaks or is damaged in normal use, please return it to us and we will replace it.

This simple warranty policy will allow our customers to focus on the task at hand and use our products with confidence, knowing we stand behind them.

(This policy only applies to our finished knives, our knife kits are not covered under our warranty policy.)
 
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