Is this Knife Paranoia or what ?? !!

RDaneel

RDaneel

Joined
Apr 23, 2000
Messages
5,501
Major rant here.

So I'm preparing a gourmet supper - a fine TV dinner, microwaveable no less. While reading the directions, I notice the first thing to do is to cut a slit in the plastic film cover. No problem, I pull out the trusty Spyderco Calypso, Jr and do so. Then I notice a little picture next to the directions to cut the slit.

It's a picture (icon) of a pair of scissors! I'm supposed to use scissors to cut a slit in the plastic??!! What idiot thought that was a good idea?

"Well, we don't want little Johnny cutting himself on one of those nasty kitchen knives. So let's send him to Mom's sewing kit to get a pair of scissors to cut the slit in the plastic."

I can just see the brilliant executive who thought this was a good idea at home just before the guests come over for a steak dinner. His wife says, "Honey, try not to show off your skill with the carving scissors again this time." "OK, dear'" he says. "By the way, where did you put that new set of steak scissors?" "Oh, silly," she replies, "They're right next to the butter scissors where the old ones were."

Looks the last bastion of knifedom has been violated folks. Get ready for a bunch of scissor friendly kitchen ware!!!

Idiots!! Just plain stupid....(fade to black of knife knut gnawing open package because he has no scissors).



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"All is well. And all will be well - in the garden." Chance the Gardener
 
Or it will say "puncture with fork to vent". Let's not have Rambo-cooks stabbing the plastic film with a paring knife!
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What we want is a little graphic of, not of scissors (I'll bet they're blunt-end too, right?) but a hand with a dagger in an overhand grip attacking that package like a hungry predator!
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Real knife people, of course, use their carrying-type knives when they're in the kitchen, instead of reaching for a kitchen knife. Sometimes that's because their carrying-type knives are as elite as they can afford and recently honed, while the kitchen knives are cheap and neglected.


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- JKM
www.chaicutlery.com
AKTI Member # SA00001
 
I find that my Cold Steel Stainless Trail Master Bowie knife works VERY WELL for puncturing a hole in that tough plastic covering on my TV dinners!.
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Dann Fassnacht
Aberdeen, WA
glockman99@hotmail.com
ICQ# 53675663
 
glockman those trailmasters are neat for that .Or chopping the top of those little individual packs of breakfast cereal.[Those Cocoa Puffs are real tuff these days]
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have a"knife"day
 
It won't last very long. Scissors are next... The picture / icon will soon be a fingernail! Some others will apply tooth, maybe.

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Did you enjoy today?
\(^o^)/ Mizutani Satoshi \(^o^)/
 
Yup, the main reason for knives these days is this--so the psychotic killer in a slasher movie can have a weapon as evil as he is.

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"I'm out there Jerry, and I'm lovin' every minute of it!"--Kramer
 
Not surprised by this at all. Happened a long time ago in Hollywood - just think of Edward Scissorhands as a "kinder, gentler" Freddie Krueger.
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Yeah, well, people ... They're just not my bag
 
Or maybe they'll use a key logo. People use car keys and house keys at crude serrated knives, you know.

People who would never think of trying to start their cars with knives.....
rolleyes.gif



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- JKM
www.chaicutlery.com
AKTI Member # SA00001
 
Then there are those among us who will, on principal, use a knife for some cutting chore where scissors really would work better, or, if we do consent to use scissors, will only use scissors attached to a knife!
biggrin.gif



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- JKM
www.chaicutlery.com
AKTI Member # SA00001
 
I guess this has been building in me for awhile. I was visiting a federal building in Michigan last week and saw a guy recycling cardboard. He had a big rollaround bin full of cardboard. He was using his KEYS to cut the cardboard to manageable sizes. Now really, this guy was no young fellow, inexperienced in the world. I'm sure he had seen knives, maybe even pocket knives. What kind of brain does not connect cutting with knives?

Fade to black on knife knut cutting throat with keys.....
 
Endura Duck. Not to cause a fight, but I had passed through security to get into this building. I had a Spyderco Dragonfly and SAK Classic on me with no problems. He could have had a SAK and brought it into work everyday with no problems.

James. Guilty. Use the scissors on my SAK first. Hey, they're always with me.
 
RDaneel-
i work in Respiratory at a V.A.- if i'm even seen with something that looks remotely like a weapon, i'm in it deep! NO exceptions or explanations! the zero tolerance crap was popular with the Feds long before schools, offices, workplaces, etc. No kubotans on keychains, No pepper spray, No knives (even little itty-bitty keychain knives are illegal here in the land of Oz). Nothing....just rely on the Police (who act as security guards in the VA cause they're not allowed to have guns, just a PR baton and cuffs). if there's a problem, you'll get a response in plenty of time to mop up your own blood from whatever you got hit with! and maybe the locals will show up also to render assistance with the report! No insults to the Fed Police; they just got pulled into the set-up by the rules, i'm sure they'd rather actually be outfitted as they should be. Then again, so would i... and i'm constantly cutting boxes with some stupid shears we keep in a drawer. of course, there are metal knives; scissors; hemostats; wrenches- all out in the open and easily acquired. but me, i have to use scissors to open a stupid stock order! guess when there are enough ER visits from employees who accidentally cut themselves using scissors for a job that clearly called for a knife, maybe then somebody will see how stupid it is...
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[This message has been edited by KELT34 (edited 08-22-2000).]
 
Some rules never cease to amaze. I caught grief over a Micra at work a couple of days ago when someone asked if they had a screwdriver for their glasses. The same bozo carries a steak knife on occasions when they bring their lunch. Yet most desks I pass by have a full size pair a scissors on them.

IMHO a pair of scissors would make a much better and more destructive weapon than any size folder I can think of. After all the folder would have to be pulled out and opened.

Common sense seems to be becoming a thing of the past.


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" I am continually reminded of the rewards of dealing with custom knife makers and the custom knife community." Jeff J.
 
Oh man, don't get me started. Oh wait, too late!
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Where do I start? Hmmm... well, I rely on no one to protect me. Therefore, I carry the biggest thing that I can reasonably believe I can conceal, since it has to be covert where I work. Turns out to be a fixed blade of about 4 inches. So, I have my Rinaldi Prototype either in my m-cycle jacket on in my briefcase (or on me, hidden), and a Spyderco Moran as basically a throw-away in my desk. With a Native tucked in my belt, and a BM 730 in my pocket. The only one that anyone knows about is the 730, and I look at them like they have two heads if they even question it. You know, best defense is a good offense (or is that backward). The only reason I don't carry my Glock is it is harder to keep it completely hidden.

The only place I don't carry at least a 3.5 inch bladed locking folder is to church. Because we have an LEO at my church regularly who is always armed. I figure since he's already on the scene, he's better trained and equipped to handle problems. I still have the Native tucked, though. The key is keeping it all covert. They don't see it, they don't know about it.

As for the plastic... I'm surprised no one mentioned perforating the packet with an AR-15!
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iktomi
 
The scissor is a sort of universal icon for cut. A knife is not so easily made into a recongnizable icon.

I've found that a 9mm makes perfectly adequate vent holes in my TV dinners. Just use non-lead bullets.

It's about time for men to take back the kitchen anyway. Women have no idea what they're saying. I was making dinner the other day and the instructions said, "Grease the pan." The pan has no moving parts. I see no reason to grease it. But, I hauled the pan out to the garage to grease it. I have been issued a defective pan! The grease fitting is missing on mine! So, I took my pan back to the store and this woman just looked at me.... Well, I'll never buy a pan there again.


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Chuck
Balisongs -- because it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing!
http://www.balisongcollector.com
 
(Laughing hystericly at Gollnicks description) Dinner *must* be an interesting event at your house on the nights you cook...
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"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."
-Derek Bok
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Chuck, I only hope the pan runs better now.

A sudden idea struck me. You may think you see scissors mark, but carefully watching some of the mark may come out as crossed khukuris. That's, that's... OUR side.

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Did you enjoy today?
\(^o^)/ Mizutani Satoshi \(^o^)/
 
The woman at the store explained to me that my pan is a new high-tech model, what she called "non-stick", and doesn't need any greasing. I guess she means sealed bearings. See what I mean about women and their terminology? Ok. Fine. Sealed bearings. That's good.

So, I wanted to make some of those gooey cinnamon buns that come in the tube. You know the ones with the gooey icing. They looked so good on the package. I preheated the oven just as the directions said, put the buns on my sealed bearing pan, put 'em in the oven, closed the door, and, about ten minutes later, there was a great explosion. I called the 1-800 number on the label and a woman, another woman, answered. I think she's the same one who put those scissors on the TV dinner. (And why is it called a TV dinner anyway? Again, women and their terminology...) I explained to her all about the sealed bearing pan and my explosion. She told me that you're supposed to take the buns out of the tube before you put 'em in the oven. It doesn't say that on the label. She uttered something under her breath about bachelors. Well, I'll never buy buns from them again.

Now I've gotta get the power washer setup and clean the oven out.

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Chuck
Balisongs -- because it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing!
http://www.balisongcollector.com

[This message has been edited by Gollnick (edited 08-24-2000).]
 
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