Alright, this is how you do it. Get a woman. Make her bring you a sandwich and said beer. If she is wanting to avoid another black eye, she will have opened the beer for you already. Rinse. Repeat.
(KIDDING!)
Grip the beer bottle as high up near the base of the cap as you can. Grip it tightly, then take a hard, flat object, and put the edge of it under the edge of the beer cap. Then press the item down. What you are doing is making a lever out of whatever object you use and your finger to push the cap off. It may take a few tries, but eventually you will get it. The flat rounded end of a BK14 will work, or a bic lighter, or a pen, or whatever you can wedge in there and get to work.