Knife-a-Holics, is there a cure in sight??

Hi Guys...

One thing about the cure!
If we let the G-ment go in the same direction they look like they are going, as with what they are doing with the Gun-O-Holics,, they'll find the cure for us.

More regulations!

stand United folks!

Eric...

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Eric E. Noeldechen
On/Scene Tactical
http://www.mnsi.net/~nbtnoel

 
I used to have the same problem with guns. But insolvency and lack of closet space solved that problem.

And remember: One day at a time.

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People who don't like knives should be condemned to using sporks for all eternity.
 
My Doctor says there may be no help, I have too much iron in my blood and so it appears a cure is not in sight, though I've sworn off buying a knife till Feb 2001, when my Cetan Hawkbill in Talonite should be ready, other than that I have been pretty good, maybe trading but not buying is in my future.

Once you find a cure, please post it, those 12 step things do work...

G2

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My mind is made up,
So don't confuse me with the facts!

www.geocities.com/Yosemite/Cabin/7306/blades.html

Gillett PA
 
Last night I was reading in the 3 rules thread over in the community forum. Silverwing wrote an awesome well-reasoned post about the endless ramifications of the principle of Respect. Among other beautiful things, she mentioned rediscovering the Socratic Treatment. Well, as a 507 year old Physician and Alchemist, I was really excited to hear about this. I am always looking for new and better ways to treat all manners of afflictions of the body, mind, and soul, especially knifeaholism.

I am familiar with the Socratic method of instruction, but in all my travels and prodigious research, I have never encountered the Socratic Treatment. I've asked SW for some clarification, but the only medical remedy I am aware of invented by the great Socrates was the Magnificent Example of his death (of course he wimped out and chose poison instead of the more honorable death by knife as practiced by the ancient Japanese).

I think the Socratic Treatment may be the Only Way Out for those of us afflicted by this (probably) incurable disease. It is also much more efficient than those twelve step programs. The Socratic Treatment only takes one step and it's over very fast. If Silverwing knows of a somewhat less drastic cure, I am sure she will be glad to share with all. Thanks Silverwing
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Theophratus Bombastus Phillipus Aureolus von Honeheim (aka Paracelsus)
 
the below was written before i saw Paracelsus' post: Paracelsus, i'm gonna ponder and get back to you on this...need coffee first
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I think I read somewhere buying more liquor than any normal person would have any use for and hiding bottles in various places around your house is one of the danger signs for alcoholism.
Click to expand...
*whew*

i'm in the clear, then. all the knives in our house are out in plain sight. and i use them for normal things, like cutting, and weighting down my pockets, and the "flick" meditation, and hand therapy, and so forth--proof that i don't have a problem with knifeaholism.

and so far, from what i've heard, all you guys sound really sensible and normal and healthy to me, so i don't think ANY of us have a knife problem here.

Cougar, i think you ought to buy more boots.

Jay, you're from Wyoming and you're worrying about neckties? man-oh-man. doncha know that us real country/mountain folk (i'm from the rockies originally) wear those string tie things? you seem like a creative type; how 'bout a bolo tie slide that's reeeaaal purty on the front side, and conceals a dinky itty bitty teensy weensy Extremely Sharp Thang on t'other side?
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and i'll git workin' on that article right quick. i've always wanted to be a trend setter and it looks like i mighta just found my notch, er, i mean niche.

if yer Karvin Kline line has some preview models ready, we could use one of them as the centerfold...i mean centerpiece. could be a series of articles: what to wear with your cowboy best. what the well-dressed accountant wears with his spring suits. casual wear for the holidays. should you wear pearl handles after labor day. all the really important topics...

dang, Jay, you're causing me moral dilemmas here and i don't mean which knife to wear today with my grey sweats (the black leopard cub, i already KNOW that, sheesh). i already had my next knife-to-buy picked out, and my sweetie comes home last night and wants to know why your li'l clip point hunter is doing wallpaper duty on our PC....

i told him that cigarette-smoking aliens in a black helicopter did it, and that now they're on their way over t' Cougar's digs to have a stern talk with him 'bout spaceship keys or somesuch.

silverwing

[This message has been edited by silverwing (edited 27 November 1999).]
 
Hi Folks,
This has been a very informative and enjoyable weekend, spent with friends at BF.com. I had no idea you were all prolific writers. When you are given a free hand on a "Whimsical" topic, you realy let your creative imaginations, run amuck. However, we are still waiting for some one to post the "12 Step Recovery Program" that we all need so desperately, but will all refuse to follow.
I think "Sliverwing" has found a new calling, and should start up a profitable web business. Giving advice to poor misguided Knife-A-Holics, on how to accessaries their wardrobes. What knife to wear with what outfit, for a particular event.Keeping in mind the seasonal changes, and the accepted norms of your geographical location. I know I need help. My wife can pick out a tie for me to wear, but is useless at choosing what knife to carry with the outfit I'm wearing.
We still have Saturday night and all day Sunday, and I'm sure that we haven't heard from everyone out there. So lets make this an interesting weekend, and get some more ideas, about Knife-A-Holics.
Hope to hear from all of you!
Best Regards,
Jay Maines
Sunrise River Custom Knives www.sunrisecustomknives.com

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Jay,
I know you're just trying to help. I for one don't want or need a 12 step program. In fact we're pretty much all in "Denial!" And, I don't mean the river in Egypt!
 
OK, folks...y'all seemed to be serious about wanting our own 12 Steps, so this here's a rough draft...any suggestions/edits/re-wordings? it's half tongue-in-cheek, but only half: "take what you need and leave the rest" as they say....

Knife-A-Holics: Sharing Our Experience, Strength & Hope on BladeForums.com

We share our experiences, since all of us here on Bladeforums know what it's like to be a knifeknut.

We share our strength, so that by coming together here on the Forums on a regular basis, we may find the courage to put down our knives occasionally and do the chores, work at our jobs, or spend time with loved ones.

We share our hope, that we may find peace, balance, laughter, and the perfect knife in each other's company.


THE TWELVE STEPS FOR KNIFEKNUTS

1. We admitted that we are powerless over our love of knives, and that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. (For the purposes of this group: that power could be Wisdom as expressed through the voices of our fellow Forumites.)

3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of The Forum as we understood The Forum (keeping in mind that God's a Forum member too).

4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and our attitudes towards knives.

5. We admitted to The Forum, ourselves, and the non-knifeknuts in our lives the nature and extent of our knife-collecting habits, and the exact nature and extent of our fantasies about Which Knife To Buy Next.

6. We were entirely ready to have The Forum and its members relieve us of defects in our collections....er, rather, our characters.

7. We humbly asked the Forum to remove our posts that fell short of respect, dignity, and good clean fun.

8. We made a list of all persons on the Forums we had wanted to flame or in fact did flame, and made amends to them all.

9. In addition, we made a list of sheeple, er, non-knife people we had made fun of and resolved to treat them with more respect from now on.

10. We continued to take inventories of our knife collections, and our knife thoughts and activities, and when we went overboard, we tried to make it up to the wife, boyfriend, kids, dog, cats by spending more time with them and buying them something without a sharp edge.

11. We sought through reading and honest posting to improve our conscious contact with The Forums as we understood The Forums, seeking only for knowledge of Respect & Balance and the power to carry that knowledge out beyond the Forums.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to knifeknuts and non-knifeknuts alike, and to practice these principles in all of our affairs.


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hi, i'm silverwing....and i'm a knifeaholic.
 
That was beautiful Silverwing! I only have one question: which One of us is God?

Paracelsus

Pointless observation: I sure am glad this place is called the Forum. If it was the Coliseum just Think what might happen
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[This message has been edited by Paracelsus (edited 27 November 1999).]
 
Hi I'm Jay, and I'm a Knife-A-Holic,

Well done Sliverwing, your 12 steps are thoughtful, and inspirational to say the least. I think they would be easier to memorize, if the word "Knife" were used in each and every sentence. Otherwise I'm afraid I couldn't possibly learn them all, or live by them all. Also, don't you think they would carry more weight, and dire warnings if they each becan with. "Thou Shalt Not". Just an idea?
Best Regards,
Jay Maines
Sunrise River Custom Knives www.sunrisecustomknives.com

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Jay,

I for one thought Silverwing did a fantastic job of interpreting the real Twelve Steps for us knifeaholics. But if it's "Thou Shalt Nots" you want, try these: (I could only think of ten, sorry)
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I. Thou shalt have No other knives.

II. Thou shalt not take the name of thy knife's Maker in Vain

III. Remember the Day of Resting from thy knife preoccupation, if only for a moment.

IV. Thou shalt honor thy Father's and thy Mother's knives.

V. Thou shalt not Kill with thy knife except in self defense or to feed thyself and others.

VI. Thou shalt not use the knife of thy neighbor. Nor shall thy loan thy knife unto thy neighbor.

VII. Thou shalt not Steal to buy knives.

VIII. Thou shalt not bear False Witness unless thou hast a concealed carry permit.

IX. Thou shalt not Covet thy neighbor's knife.

X. Thou shalt not take Thyself or thy Knives so gosh darned seriously.


Hello. My name is Paracelsus and I'm a knifeaholic too.

(Please forgive me for I have sinned)

[This message has been edited by Paracelsus (edited 28 November 1999).]
 
Folks,

Really, I didn't want you to think that I just made these commandments up out of thin air. No. After watching a rerun of George Burns as God in that old movie, I went out for a walk. High up on a nearby hill I saw what looked like a forest fire in the making. As I got a little closer, I realized it was only a single burning bush. Then as I approached the bush, I realized that it was actually a large pink Wholly Mammoth covered in a flowing mane of fuschia. I said something blasphemous and asked what the heck Is this anyway? And it spoke unto me (I hadn't expected that and I fell back upon my knees). It said in a loud trumpeting voice, "I am what I am."

At that moment I knew I was in Big Trouble. Suddenly, from out of its enormous proboscis came forth a bright flame of fire that was not fire. And it projected this wholly laser onto a nearby boulder. Then the wholly apparition disappeared before I could even say "What the …). Upon the rocks were written the words I have posted above. I have seen the light. I have taken the pledge of non-knifeaholism. I have passed on the words of the Wholly Pink Mammoth. But I didn't write everything 'exactly' as inscribed upon the wholly rock.

The tenth commandment actually was:

Thou shalt not use my Wholly Tusks as knife making material!

I thought that was a little over the top, so I changed it to:

Thou shalt not take thyself so gosh darned seriously.

But I was overcome by doubt and guilt and shame. So now I have come clean and can now begin my new knife (oops, I meant Life). Please, won't you come out and prey with me?

Paracelsus
Certified Lunatic and Seer of Wholly Visions

[This message has been edited by Paracelsus (edited 28 November 1999).]
 
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