Knife Etiquette Question

P.S. In my experience, warning the idiots it's sharp only makes them want to test it. Guess what they test it on....

If they weren't idiots they would have a knife of their own with them. Don't give a sharp knife to an idiot.
 
We should come up with something similar to "Miranda" rights to read to people before handing them a knife. Like, "You have the right to cut yourself. You have the right to a Band-Aid if you do cut yourself. You have the right not to blame me because you're clumsy. You have the right to *no* litigation resulting from any damages you inflicted upon yourself using my knife. Any stupid things you do while in possesion of said knife can and will be held against you whenever we're together." What could we call it? :)

Asha'man
 
I don't let _anyone_ handle one of my knives, let alone lend it to them!
It may seem harsh and not very friendly, but indeed is just being reasonable and knowing what you are going into.

SCENE 1
- Scuse me, can I borrow your knife a moment?
- Sure! Here it is.
The knife was returned more than 3 hours later

SCENE 2
- 'Scuse me, can I borow your knife a couple of minutes?
- Sure, here it is.
The knife was returned a couple of minutes later.
With three dents caused by trying to cut heavy gauge steel wire with it.

SCENE 3
- Hey! Cool, may I have a look at it?
- Sure. Be careful, it's so sharp you can cut without even knowing it!
- ok, I know what I'm doing... Hell! This is blood!!!!

SCENE 4
- Can I borrow your knife?
- Here. Take it (i open the knife)
The guy does what he needs to do, then tries to close the knife, without realizing it has a liner lock.
- Leave it to me, I'll close it.
- No no. I can close it, no problem.
The guy fumbles some more with the knife, pushing hard as he can on the blade with his fingers on the blade's closing path.
- GIVE IT TO ME, NOW! You ar going to chop your fingers off, you idiot!
- Oh... sorry...

SCENE 5
- May I look at your knife?
- Sure, here it is.
Before I can say anything the moron pulls his thumb on the razor sharp edge
- OUCH! What the hell! Why you keep it so sharp??? It's dangerous!
I take the knife back with some comment on the line of "It's a knife, its job is to CUT things, you idiot."

SCENE 6
- Can you lend me your swiss knife? We have to open a wine bottle.
- take it.
Five minutes later the knife returns with a badly bent corckscrew...

These all happened to me over several years. Reading all of them one after the other in a few lines, by SCENE 3 you were probably wondering why I was so stupid to go on and let scenes 4,5 and 6 happen.
Just because I thought that A or B were more "polite" options than C.
Now I think that is very impolite to have my knife damaged, and is as impolite letting somebody cut away pieces of his anathomy.
So, I don't want to have to look over every idiot borrows a knife to avoid they lose, mishandle, damage it or themselves.
If they damage the knife I get angry, if they damage themselves I feel guilty.
If somebody needs a knife he may very well buy his own and learn to use it.
I don't want to stay all the time eyes fixed on him, ready to jump if he does something stupid to avoid he injuries himself or damages the knife thru idiotic practices.
So, now I just say: No. It's a very expensive model and it's razor sharp, and a guy already cut himself badly with it so I don't lend it anymore. End of the story :)

If somebody is interested in knifes I explain him all that he wants to listen to, show him how to safely operate the various locking mechanisms and so on and are more than gladly ready to supervise him when he tries to learn to use a good knife. But I won't lend a knife to anybody for general use.
 
Loaning out your knife is also like loaning out your brand new sports car.
You wouldn't loan out your brand new Porche to someone you know full well is going to abuse it, would you?

So, why should you give out your nice blade to clueless morons?

Here's how I handle these people in case someone knows I have a knife on me.

Get techical with them.

If they want A knife, give a cheap plastic knife you would find during lunch hour.

If they want your precious knife, give them informantion on where to get one.

If they STILL are begging for a knife and too lazy to get their own, give them a dulled p.o.s blade with no point on the end to play with.

Or better yet, hand them a piece of metal from a ripped up Coke can.

As I said, get techical with them.

You might be viewed as an jerk, but it's their faults for not being prepared.
 
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