Knife Etiquette - What to Do When Your Friend Has a "Bad" Knife

R

RedLynx

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Aug 5, 2011
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I was reading through a relatively bizarre thread on "funny crappy non-knife guys with crappy knives" thread or somesuch, which was mostly entertaining for its arguing more so than the stories.

Anyway, one of our other esteemed members said that there is no book of knife etiquette on what to do if your friend has a bad knife, so in the spirit of entertainment and keeping the mood light, I thought I'd make one.

1. "Never insult a man's knife, unless you're prepared to give him a better one." (Gotta look back to see who actually said that, it wasn't me).

2. If knife is particularly egregious, promptly throw it in the trash right in front of them, watch their shocked expressions, and proceed to give them much better knife.

3. If loaning out a Sebenza, try interesting social experiment where you do not mention price. This keeps experiment impartial and allows for more "unbiased testing."

4. If desire to insult other man's knife is too strong, be prepared to present him with one of your own knives as penance, when the inevitable hurt ensues.

5. If desire to insult woman's knife is too strong... there's really nothing I can do to help you--you're on your own.

6. Consider giving friend inexpensive yet effective knives full of awesome, such as Opinel or Mora. Be an everyday hero.

7. If going to a construction job site, do not insult the workers' tools. If you do, you'll see what happens.

I'm sure we could all add more but, that's it from me for now. Cheers friends.
 
The only truly bad knife is one that simply doesn't cut. May still be useful, prying open paint cans or something, but bad at being a knife.

If it's sharp though, it's a good knife. It may not be good at: batonning, whittling, food prep, etc. but as long as it will cut something it's fine.

That being said, if he starts to brag about how awesome his new m-tech thing is it's perfectly acceptable to point out potential pitfalls the thing might present during use.

In some cultures it's also acceptable to point and laugh at mall ninjas.
 
There isn't a bad knife for me when it's somebody else's. It's their knife.

The only thing I would say is if there's something patently unsafe about it and it's not only my opinion.
 
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Ummm - you forgot to mention that you should be as righteous as possible - you know - like spending your valuable time researching their past to expose some dumb stuff they did - then using bible quotes... BIBLE QUOTES!
 
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Nice list RedLinx! I see many knives on people I know that are pieces of junk, but ehh- it makes em happy. The only time I would intervene and add my two cents is if there's something physically wrong that could compromise user's safety like a pivot that's coming loose or similar. Other than that-- to each their own.

Killgar: lots of wisdom in your pop's quote. Reminds me of the dad in the book "Sh*t my Dad Says". GREAT read if I could ever recommend one.
 
Thing is I've given people a better knife, albeit a budget knife like a Rough Rider or an Opinel, and had them think it a worse knife since it wasn't as flashy as their Frost tactical. Sucks to see your gift being thrown at a tree etc.

De gustibus non est disputandum
 
When I see someone with what you are calling a 'bad' knife I thank God some people are still financial, have sense and don't spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on one freakin' knife.

I say nothing unless asked. Very few people are into knives as much as those who grace these hallowed halls. In fact, most don't care that much about it. If someone were into cars and spent twenty minutes explaining to me the advantages of his radiator hose over mine I'd think they were a bit of a boor.

Also, when I GIVE a knife to someone I budget one that I can be comfortable with the recipient carrying it for a few days then throwing it into a drawer forever or, most likely, the fact that it will be lost and belong to a stranger within a month. I don't sulk if I don't see them using it and displaying it often either.
 
I have given friends many knives over the years all because the knife they were carrying is what I would consider a hazard to be used. It is hard to explain to a non knife person what the issue is with the knife they are carrying. I usually pull out whatever I have in my pocket and show them the differences. I broke my buddies $5 Gerber in half one day trying to show him that it was too weak for what he was using it for. I promptly handed him the Ontario utilitac II I had in my pocket and told him to try and do to it what I just did to his Gerber. He couldn't, and I gave him the Ontario. We have to remember not everyone is as blade crazy as we are.
 
I don't say anything. Most people don't care about knives. That means that by definition, I am the abnormal one. The last thing I want to do is call attention to it and be all douchey about it. If someone asks me or expresses interest, I'll comment. If someone asks me about a piece of crap knife, I won't dump all over it. I'll applaud their interest in knives and might show them one of mine. If they continue the dialog and are interested, then I enjoy that conversation but it rarely goes that far.
 
I'll try to respond to everyone later but just so we're all clear, I kinda made this in jest. But even if has spawned discussion. I do think the advice of killgar's dad is great though.

I fall in the don't say anything camp, unless a knife looks truly hazardous. I remember someone posting a pic of a coworker knife, probably in the thread killgar linked. Strange knife from Whetstone Cutlery, a brand I'd never heard of. Even though it was cheap and not my style, I was struck by the guy's DIY repair job. On a knife I certainly would not have bothered, at that price point. There's something great about that.
 
Just kill him on the spot for daring not to be a knife guy. Just, WHOOSH, cut his head right off.

LOL
 
Quiet said:
Just kill him on the spot for daring not to be a knife guy. Just, WHOOSH, cut his head right off.

LOL
Click to expand...

Then smokebombs and helicopter exfil. :D

More seriously, if it's bad enough to make me feel strongly about it, I'll gift them something decent. I don't have that many knives I don't use, and it's partially because they filter out to friends and family for those kind of reasons.
 
First, that's a good list!

Second, I watch how they treat their piece of crap knives. If they do stupid crap with their knife, leave their knife laying around like it's garbage, or any other number of things I just let them be.

If I see them care for their knife as a tool, rough use or not, I'll bring in one of my knives that would fit what I think they may like and let them use it. When/if they show they're impressed, I ask them how much they spend on one night out with their wife, they almost always say something like 100 to 150 bucks. I then ask them how often they carry their knife. They almost always say daily or weekly or whatever. I then tell them that for the price of one night out with their wives they can get a tool that they will use daily or weekly or whatever for years to come. Some people understand that and go buy a good knife, some people I'll give them a knife if I like them enough. And some people ignore it and continue carrying whatever smith and Wesson, Gerber, or jarbenza knife they already have. To each his own...

The younger single guys without kids are the easiest to persuade. I ask them how much they spend on bar night. They'll throw out some ridiculous number like 300 bucks or more. I ask them what they have to show for it. They'll say a kid, or fuzzy memories, or a black eye, or an std, or whatever other funny thing they say that really means nothing. Then I tell them how much a quality knife can cost. It's always best to do this while they have their knife out cutting something. If you have them pull their knife out of their pocket to talk about it never works.
 
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I like it. Because you specified "friend" in the op, I agree, if a FRIEND has a "bad" knife, I'll certainly talk to them about why it's subpar, inferior, or worse - dangerous...
While i won't just buy someone a blur, let alone sebbie, I have given "decent" upgrades to friends (and even acquaintances) in the past; usually something on the spot out of my own pocket or collection; Mora's, low end saks, low end Bucks, CRKTs, Schrades, etc.

I know some steel snobs will say "how is a Schrade an upgrade", but when a friend has a $10 special, plastic handled flea market knife with a sketchy lock, wobbly blade, and "surgical stainless" blade, then an aluminum framed 8 or 9cr14mov (sharpened) Schrade with a decent lock and blade which I've already preinspected and approved (ie. didn't send it back) is definitely an upgrade, and in some cases even the best knife a non-knifer ever owned. Cheap Schrades are still one of my favorite knives to add to orders just to get free shipping, specifically for the purpose of possibly having to give it away to a non-knifer in need of a knife. So far no issues.

As for non friends, I usually give 'em the ol' "oh, yeah, nice knife," or just say nothing at all...

I gave one of my knife less coworkers my Gerber scout I hated so much, because a crappy knife is better then no knife, and he is definitely s non-knifer, so it's likely his best knife when it was by far my worst.

#5. Shouldn't even be a consideration... Very well might lead to stitches, or worse.
 
I gave a buddy a RAT 2 camo/satin a couple of months ago. He has a whole bucket full of junk knives that he bought on tv for next to nothing...about one buck per knife. He carries the RAT 2 constantly and loves it. I really think that he likes the camo scales MORE than anything else, but that's fine. I like my camo/satin PM2 also.
 
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