Knife Horror Stories

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Aquaholicc

Aquaholicc

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Funny story and I wish I could make this up..a few months back the wife and I got into a argument and she decided to take my knife collection (6 in total) and throw them into the conservation area behind our house..

Long story short I was out there with a metal detector I bought the next day and found them all but ONE, my PM2 BBS exclusive in M390. I was devastated...so a few days go by and I’m thinking “wow..why THAT knife ..why couldn’t it be my G3 out there in the weather..?!?”

Next day goes by and I decide to check my security cameras on my house and sure enough I see my cute little wife in the backyard throwing each one of my knives into the woods..but I notice she only throws 5 times...I have 6 knives. Where in the fu%k is the PM2?! Later that evening I’m cleaning the bathroom and I open up the medicine cabinet of her side and TADA, there is my beautiful PM2!

I’d love to hear similar stories and I hope we all can laugh about them, whether they end well or badly I wanna hear them!
 
Nothing that dramatic over here. Although I was put in the “special line” years ago on a flight to Philly. Something about:

“The machine shows a knife in your carry on.”

Whatever. Like I’m that stupid to smuggle a knife onboard.

“It looks like it’s in this bag. Do I have permission to open this, sir?”

“Knock yourself out, man. There’s nothing in there but pencils.”

He unzipped the pencil bag and out pops a little Buck Colleague.

“Oh, that’s where my Colleague has been hiding.” I thought I was going to be arrested on the spot...
 
KuduCuckoo said:
Nothing that dramatic over here. Although I was put in the “special line” years ago on a flight to Philly. Something about:

“The machine shows a knife in your carry on.”

Whatever. Like I’m that stupid to smuggle a knife onboard.

“It looks like it’s in this bag. Do I have permission to open this, sir?”

“Knock yourself out, man. There’s nothing in there but pencils.”

He unzipped the pencil bag and out pops a little Buck Colleague.

“Oh, that’s where my Colleague has been hiding.” I thought I was going to be arrested on the spot...
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Hahah, I’d hope nothing too crazy would happen from this. At most I think they would just confiscate the blade and you’ll be on your merry way.

Gladly it sounds like this was not the case.

Cheers!
 
I know this was supposed to be lighthearted and you probably didn't take it as sourly as some (me), but one of two things would have happened if that were me. I'd be in jail, and/or she'd be arrested for criminal damages. Married or not, that's technically your half of the overall property, regardless of whose money was spent on it. I would divorce whomever thinks its okay to go around ruining their spouses property or hobbies over an argument, be an adult. God forbid you took her jewelry or clothes and did that to her. I'll stop now before this ends up being a nasty topic.
 
`br4dz- said:
I know this was supposed to be lighthearted and you probably didn't take it as sourly as some (me), but one of two things would have happened if that were me. I'd be in jail, and/or she'd be arrested for criminal damages. Married or not, that's technically your half of the overall property, regardless of whose money was spent on it. I would divorce whomever thinks its okay to go around ruining their spouses property or hobbies over an argument, be an adult. God forbid you took her jewelry or clothes and did that to her. I'll stop now before this ends up being a nasty topic.
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Hey man I agree, and just about everyone else at the office said the same thing you are. But I roll with the punches pretty well and when we look back on it..it’s quite funny. Let’s please stay on topic as this thread was meant to persude people share some of their either unfortunate or embarrassing stories!
 
KuduCuckoo said:
“The machine shows a knife in your carry on.”
Click to expand...

Alright, I've got one.

Years ago (this was pre-9/11) I wound up being very late for a cross-country flight, due to the airport shuttle service screwing up. I arrived at the terminal something like 15 minutes before scheduled gate closure. I ran up to the check-in counter and said to some gent with wings on his lapel, "My flight leaves in 15 minutes! Can you help me?!"

"Sure!" he said. "Follow me!"

The next thing I knew, we were running together towards the gate. But there was a problem. I had my USMC Ka-Bar in my checked bag.

"I have to check this bag," I told him.

"There's no time. You'll have to carry it on," he said, as we continued to run.

I don't remember what was going through my mind, but the next thing I knew, the bag was on the conveyer belt, heading into the X-ray machine. Then going through the X-ray machine. Then coming out the other end of the X-ray machine. I made eye contact with the woman who was watching my Ka-Bar slide past on the screen. She might have opened her lips to say something. I'm not sure.

"Let's go!" announced my uniformed compatriot, who snatched my bag and continued his sprint to the gate, his security passes flapping.

And that's the story of how I flew cross-country with a great American fighting knife in my carry-on.
 
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Aquaholicc said:
Hey man I agree, and just about everyone else at the office said the same thing you are. But I roll with the punches pretty well and when we look back on it..it’s quite funny. Let’s please stay on topic as this thread was meant to persude people share some of their either unfortunate or embarrassing stories!
Click to expand...

And it's probably why I'm not married.

As far as the topic, the most unfortunate thing I've had with knives is I was showing a significant other one of my freshly sharpened blades, and after countless times of warning them over and over for months not to cut themselves, they did just that. Wasn't too bad at all, but she tried to hide it because she knew the "I told you so" look was coming.
 
vanadium said:
Alright, I've got one.

Years ago (this was pre-9/11) I wound up being very late for a cross-country flight, due to the airport shuttle service screwing up. I arrived at the terminal something like 15 minutes before scheduled gate closure. I ran up to the check-in counter and said to some gent with wings on his lapel, "My flight leaves in 15 minutes! Can you help me?!"

"Sure!" he said. "Follow me!"

The next thing I knew, we were running together towards the gate. But there was a problem. I had my USMC Ka-Bar in my checked bag.

"I have to check this bag," I told him.

"There's no time. You'll have to carry it on," he said, as we continued to run.

I don't remember what was going through my mind, but the next thing I knew, the bag was on the conveyer belt, heading into the X-ray machine. Then going through the X-ray machine. Then coming out the other end of the X-ray machine. I made eye contact with the woman who was watching my Ka-Bar slide past on the screen. She might have opened her lips to say something. I'm not sure.

"Let's go!" announced my uniformed compatriot, who snatched my bag and continued his sprint to the gate, his security passes flapping.

And that's the story of how I flew cross-country with a great American fighting knife in my carry-on.
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I was grinning from ear to ear the whole time I read this! It just goes to show you it pays to know people, or in your case to be a friendly enough personality that someone is willing to help you out no matter the circumstance.
`br4dz- said:
And it's probably why I'm not married.

As far as the topic, the most unfortunate thing I've had with knives is I was showing a significant other one of my freshly sharpened blades, and after countless times of warning them over and over for months not to cut themselves, they did just that. Wasn't too bad at all, but she tried to hide it because she knew the "I told you so" look was coming.
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Haha, I’ve given my wife the 940-2 I used to carry religiously. In the 4 months she’s had it I can amazingly say no cuts..YET. She has just gotten the “BM wrist flick close” down so I’m proud of her.
 
`br4dz- said:
after countless times of warning them over and over for months not to cut themselves, they did just that.
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I gave my wife the pink Dozier hunter with the thumbhole a few years back. It was her first OHO. She got pretty good at flipping it open and shut pressing on the lockback.

We were out fishing one morning. She had to cut her line and it bit here thumb on the close. After I wrapped her thumb up I was like Paulie talking to Henry on the courthouse steps after he got pinched. “Hey, ya graduated! Ya p*pp*d yer ch***y!”
 
Aquaholicc said:
It’s inspired me to buy one..honestly lol
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Highly recommended. Telling the story is inspiring me to buy another. Sadly that Ka-Bar vanished a decade later at the hands of a (supposed) friend. In retrospect, I think she was still mad at me for stealing her girlfriend.
 
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I used to work at sporting goods at walmart a couple years ago, I was 18. They always gave us these box cutters with the retractable blade so you can easily open a box without cutting whats inside or yourself. They were actually really cool and worked great, but so big and bulky I didn't like to use them. And being a knife nut i like to use my own knives, even to cut 40 feet of cardboard when restocking at night. I wish I had a dollar every time I got in trouble for not using the designated utility knife, I'm honestly lucky I never got wrote up.
ANYWAY, I had just gotten my new manix 2 ffg a couple months ago and it of course had a nice fresh toothy edge on it. There was a girl that had just started working back there with us that I had a pretty big teenage crush on, she had a boyfriend but oh man was he a lucky guy. Pretty girl, absolutely crazy about hunting and likes guns and knives more than any other girl I have ever met.
So one day we were working and she needed me to cut something for her, I think it was a piece of string or something. So she held it up with both hands and I whipped out my manix knowing it was sharper than the box cutter we are given, I think I wanted to impress her with how sharp with my knife was, which I did, but not how I wanted to. Im sure you guys can see where this is going.
I went to cut the given string, tape zip tie, whatever it was but at the last moment either someone bumped into her or me but one of use moved at the last critical moment and I gave her a pretty good little slice on her hand.... I felt so bad about it but she understood it was an accident and thankfully was a very layed back girl. To be clear it was not a cut that required stitches or anything near it but it was still very embarrassing and made me feel terrible. But a band-aid and a couple thousand apologies made it better.
Side note and a bit off topic, but the first day she started working back in sporting good, we were having a huge ammo sale during the big ammo shortage and had at least a hundred people waiting in line. (I sold almost $15,000 work of ammo to one guy) So there I am wearing my cheap Walmart kahkis and I crouch down and hear a big rip. I stood up and saw the new pretty blonde girl looking down where I had ripped my pants right at the crotch, from the zipper halfway down to the knee. We are still friends and still joke about this, and many other stories of Walmart shenanigans to this day when I see her.

So there you go guys, a very long winded story with a little teenage romance and an a couple embarrassing stories. The moral here is to be extra carefull with sharp objects (especially around your crush) and to NEVER BUY CHEAP KHAKIS FROM WALMART THEY WILL FAIL YOU. :)
 
Well this may be a bit if a true horror story , at least a minor one.

One night when I was a teenager my mom's alcoholic husband was at a friend's house down the street drinking when he got all bent out of shape about something that was said to him.
Well he comes home and grabs a big serrated Carver from the kitchen drawer and my mom screaming at him to stop and think about what he's doing grabs the knife by the blade to stop him from leaving the house with it and doing something he would regret.
Luckily it wasn't too sharp or it could've been much worse ,my moms hand got cut deep enough to probably need multiple stitches but she didn't want any questions to come up in a hospital visit so she just bandaged her hand up with a piece of an old sheet and babied it for a while.
I was standing there in the dining room with my great grandfathers axe in my hands because I awoke to screaming and really didn't know what was going on, but I was just a kid and I don't know what I was or thought I was going to do.

I'm just thankful my mom didn't end up getting accidentally stabbed during this, because I really think I may have lost it and chased him down then started hacking. I'm not a violent person, but when something happens to your mom things can change.
 
vanadium said:
Alright, I've got one.

Years ago (this was pre-9/11) I wound up being very late for a cross-country flight, due to the airport shuttle service screwing up. I arrived at the terminal something like 15 minutes before scheduled gate closure. I ran up to the check-in counter and said to some gent with wings on his lapel, "My flight leaves in 15 minutes! Can you help me?!"

"Sure!" he said. "Follow me!"

The next thing I knew, we were running together towards the gate. But there was a problem. I had my USMC Ka-Bar in my checked bag.

"I have to check this bag," I told him.

"There's no time. You'll have to carry it on," he said, as we continued to run.

I don't remember what was going through my mind, but the next thing I knew, the bag was on the conveyer belt, heading into the X-ray machine. Then going through the X-ray machine. Then coming out the other end of the X-ray machine. I made eye contact with the woman who was watching my Ka-Bar slide past on the screen. She might have opened her lips to say something. I'm not sure.

"Let's go!" announced my uniformed compatriot, who snatched my bag and continued his sprint to the gate, his security passes flapping.

And that's the story of how I flew cross-country with a great American fighting knife in my carry-on.
Click to expand...
You got lucky.

Not gonna happen today.

Its amazing what they DO confiscate - thousands snd thousands of knives, guns, inert grenades etc etc.

Some no doubt carried by mistake, some because they just plain didnt know, that they couldnt bring their favorite desk ornament in the shape of an inert pineapple grenade in their carry on and some items carried deliberately.
 
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