Knife Horror Stories

Status
Not open for further replies.
Years ago, I showed a buddy how to open a beer with the spine of my ESEE 4....so he tried and somehow gashed the top of his wrist.

Blood went everywhere. This was before some of my medical training, but we stopped the bleeding by tying a t-shirt around the wrist. Went to the ER and he had a deep laceration that partially severed some tendons.

I don’t think he ever regained full mobility of his wrist. But I did give him the knife, though, to take on a deployment...
 
Aquaholicc said:
Phew I’m glad this didn’t turn out really bad for you my friend! I believe everyone here would agree with you on letting lose on the fu#%er.

Man..6 months per blade is just silly..I never understood why knife laws were so strict in certain areas of the world.
Click to expand...
Definitely.
Luckily he found Church, I just hope it can keep him sober for good.
 
Hello All
Not sure this is as good a story as Aquaholicc's or Gkahoot's. I'd been carrying a large Sebenza for years, it was a special edition from the Les Robertson LDC-9 series (knife #30 of 50) that I had bought back in the early 90's(?) and it cost well over $400 so it was pretty special to me. Well we're visiting the kids in Maryland (yeah I know, I escaped from there in 2011 and moved to the mostly free State of Wyoming where we have NO knife carry restrictions and guns are a heritage of the land) and I'm taking out the trash and lift the bag to place the trash in the large bin/pick-up container and unbeknownst to me the bag snagged the Sebenza pocket clip and into the trash bin it went. I noticed that it was gone sometime later in the day and searched high and low until we had to return to Wyoming.

So I'm shattered because of the sentimental value more than anything else but also for being so stupid as to lose my knife after so many years of carry. Well a few days later our son calls and e-mails me a picture of my Sebenza that he found in the bottom of the trash bin! It seems that it did not slide into the trash truck when the bin was emptied and the garbage man (oops, should that be Sanitation Engineer) didn't see it. Luckily our son noticed it after he put the bin back in the garage and was preparing to put in a fresh (?) bag of trash, he saw it in the bottom of the bin because of it's neon/Zombie green lanyard. So a week later I had it back safe and sound, phew! Oh, it's retired, for now! Moral: not that any of you don't know this already, but watch out for things snagging those pocket clips!
Thanks,
T & B
 
Aquaholicc said:
whether they end well or badly I wanna hear them!
Click to expand...
I'm in a haiku sorta mood (it's a new mood . . . I had to look up how to spell hikeyou)

Para2 M4 spec portend good life
Good knife great life
Goodness empty hand
Barren goodness pocket

Para2M4 sold out
Sad damp everywhere cloud
Saw many people with Para2M4
My sad chapped butt

Brain comes on after long dark sky
Mysterious visitor from land of Exchange
Familiar visitor FedEx
Warm Light green mist dark blade cutting age long

(obviously I have no idea how to write a haiku. Any one who cares please forgive me. This is for humor and no insult intended) :)
 
Last edited:
Aquaholicc said:
Funny story and I wish I could make this up..a few months back the wife and I got into a argument and she decided to take my knife collection (6 in total) and throw them into the conservation area behind our house..

Long story short I was out there with a metal detector I bought the next day and found them all but ONE, my PM2 BBS exclusive in M390. I was devastated...so a few days go by and I’m thinking “wow..why THAT knife ..why couldn’t it be my G3 out there in the weather..?!?”

Next day goes by and I decide to check my security cameras on my house and sure enough I see my cute little wife in the backyard throwing each one of my knives into the woods..but I notice she only throws 5 times...I have 6 knives. Where in the fu%k is the PM2?! Later that evening I’m cleaning the bathroom and I open up the medicine cabinet of her side and TADA, there is my beautiful PM2!

I’d love to hear similar stories and I hope we all can laugh about them, whether they end well or badly I wanna hear them!
Click to expand...
Me and SWMBO , back in the day ! But we've stayed together for over 40 yrs . Got to have some tension or it won't last .
 
Nystagmus said:
Years ago, I showed a buddy how to open a beer with the spine of my ESEE 4....so he tried and somehow gashed the top of his wrist.

Blood went everywhere. This was before some of my medical training, but we stopped the bleeding by tying a t-shirt around the wrist. Went to the ER and he had a deep laceration that partially severed some tendons.

I don’t think he ever regained full mobility of his wrist. But I did give him the knife, though, to take on a deployment...
Click to expand...
Stand up guy right here! They say once a knife bites you, it is forever yours! I hope your buddy still has the knife to this day as I’m sure it is quite special to him haha.
 
DocJD said:
Me and SWMBO , back in the day ! But we've stayed together for over 40 yrs . Got to have some tension or it won't last .
Click to expand...
Hahahah, at least you understand my man! There is no such thing as good times if you don’t have some bad!
 
Hey Wowbagger
Nice poem, not quite a Haiku but what the heck. Off topic, how 'bout this:
Rubies red flowing
Diamonds white glowing
The ride home
Still not a true Haiku but again, what the heck!
You a bagger guy? PM2 is a rotation carry for me!
T&B
 
vanadium said:
Highly recommended. Telling the story is inspiring me to buy another. Sadly that Ka-Bar vanished a decade later at the hands of a (supposed) friend. In retrospect, I think she was still mad at me for stealing her girlfriend.
Click to expand...

Now that sounds like an even better story than the first! Yowzah!
 
Wow, this thread gets my vote for most idiotic GKD thread of the year. :rolleyes: o_O Yeah, it’s still early too, but this will be hard to beat.

This one time, at fat camp, I had to stab an alligator in the head with a kitchen knife so it would stop terrorizing the camp every summer. It got 2-3 kids every year. Fat bastid!!!!

:D :p

IBTL/IBTM
 
ScooterG said:
Here's an actual Haiku...

Wife with duct tape mouth
Happiness within plain sight
Long day of napping
Click to expand...

The Chef just read that and said substitute "Man" for Wife and it would be a correct Haiku.
I don't know I just report this stuff.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top