Knife Psychology... Are you being "profiled"?

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Jun 20, 2023
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So my wife is a psychiatrist. [Insert joke here] Having revealed to her the extent of my knife obsession, I fear I'm now being analyzed and profiled by an overly educated, over thinking, yet kind and beautiful life partner. :) She's taken down some data as follows and will be giving "timely and honest feedback" soon about what my collection reveals about me!

-I have 162 knives
-Top 3 brands are Buck at 31% of my collection, Case at 15%, and GEC at 9%
-I don't own a single Spyderco, Benchmade, or CRK knife
-23 knives are fixed blades, the rest are traditional folders
-A preponderance of the knives are single blade folders with an average blade length of 3"
-The touch of Ironwood causes my pulse to increase by 22% (estimated)
-I will often oil the day's EDC several times each day (I go through Ballistol like water!) regardless of whether or not the knife is used
-My dog's name is Wharncliffe
-Although working in a corporate Finance office, I carry three blades to work everyday, often closing my personal office door just to admire them periodically
-My barber's name is Edward Scissorhands (OK just a bad joke on this bullet point)

She's got a lot to unpack here, as I readily admit. Anyone have any suggestions on how to combat the extremism revealed in my knife obsession?? ;);):)
 
Your top three brands are domestic. Of the 162, how many are made in the USA, vs outsourced? Do you drive a domestic automobile, or an Import? Where do you claim ancestry from, and do you have any knives from there? When you touch ironwood and your heart rate increases by 22%, are you also drinking coffee, and if so, what kind? What is your earliest childhood memory? What knife has been in your collection the longest? How many knives in your collection have been passed-down?

*adjusts glasses and readies notepad*
 
A knife is arguably what makes Us human....
Early man, a beast, a wanderer, a scavenger.
A tool, a knife. Most likely the second tool come to be. Only after a mere stick for use as a club.
the knife though was fashioned to create something better.
Better protection, better hunting, better overall life.... Who wouldn't want that?
Agriculture. Civilization. Humans coming together. Exchanging ideas. Growing communities....
That knife in hand was the intimate first steps needed for us to be here, now.

I'd seriously question Anyone who doesn't respect and find awe in that marvelous attribute.
 
So my wife is a psychiatrist. [Insert joke here] Having revealed to her the extent of my knife obsession, I fear I'm now being analyzed and profiled by an overly educated, over thinking, yet kind and beautiful life partner. :) She's taken down some data as follows and will be giving "timely and honest feedback" soon about what my collection reveals about me!

-I have 162 knives
-Top 3 brands are Buck at 31% of my collection, Case at 15%, and GEC at 9%
-I don't own a single Spyderco, Benchmade, or CRK knife
-23 knives are fixed blades, the rest are traditional folders
-A preponderance of the knives are single blade folders with an average blade length of 3"
-The touch of Ironwood causes my pulse to increase by 22% (estimated)
-I will often oil the day's EDC several times each day (I go through Ballistol like water!) regardless of whether or not the knife is used
-My dog's name is Wharncliffe
-Although working in a corporate Finance office, I carry three blades to work everyday, often closing my personal office door just to admire them periodically
-My barber's name is Edward Scissorhands (OK just a bad joke on this bullet point)

She's got a lot to unpack here, as I readily admit. Anyone have any suggestions on how to combat the extremism revealed in my knife obsession?? ;);):)

I think your wife is over-qualified. It's very simple: 162 knives is better than 1 girlfriend. :)
 
A knife is arguably what makes Us human....
Early man, a beast, a wanderer, a scavenger.
A tool, a knife. Most likely the second tool come to be. Only after a mere stick for use as a club.
the knife though was fashioned to create something better.
Better protection, better hunting, better overall life.... Who wouldn't want that?
Agriculture. Civilization. Humans coming together. Exchanging ideas. Growing communities....
That knife in hand was the intimate first steps needed for us to be here, now.

I'd seriously question Anyone who doesn't respect and find awe in that marvelous attribute.
When I was a kid, in my little box of treasures was a rock that had been shaped into a sort of knife chisel kind of thing. It fit perfectly into the palm of a hand and had some sgallow finger grooves for a grip. It was given to me with a few arrowheads and I was told it was an early American tool. I guess you could use it to shape wood or break down animals. It is a great reminder of how difficult it must have been. I mean even the cheapest metal knife shaped object would probably be better than this rock but to someone it was a valuable tool!

It's probably over my dad's somewhere I'll have to give a look one of these days.


I don't want to get into the mental illness that is collecting! Lol. I have old watches and knives everywhere. It's not normal.
 
This seems like a good match - like someone with chronic back problems marrying a chiropractor. You are insane, she can work on it for free but can't fix it. Win-win.

I am glad my wife has never inventoried all of my knives. She can do that for the estate sale.
 
I would sell some of your less expensive, less used knives and start transitioning to customs or higher-end knives. Tell her you want your collection to reflect your opinion of her: high value, unique, gorgeous, and something you can't help but admire and fondle.
 
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I'm not certified by an American university, but I am held in high esteem amongst my hunting and trapping partners for my character evaluation skills.from what I see your mistake is giving your dogs name 2 syllables .I find when my dog is lost it is alot easier walking through the streets calling buck for example(come here buck)than traversing the area calling for wharncliffe (where are you wharncliffe)you can say buck about 30 times to 5 wharncliffe. So your close but I am surprised your wife with her fancy degree and all Didn't point this out to you lol.
 
I'm not certified by an American university, but I am held in high esteem amongst my hunting and trapping partners for my character evaluation skills.from what I see your mistake is giving your dogs name 2 syllables .I find when my dog is lost it is alot easier walking through the streets calling buck for example(come here buck)than traversing the area calling for wharncliffe (where are you wharncliffe)you can say buck about 30 times to 5 wharncliffe. So your close but I am surprised your wife with her fancy degree and all Didn't point this out to you lol.
That's hysterical....:) we usually call him Cliffy
 
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