Knives and Family Gatherings

Ankerson said:
That's because he is trying to fit in with the other family members. ;)

It's obvious that there is some huge influence by one or more people in your family against knives.
Click to expand...

This makes sense to me. There's a similar dynamic within my own family. If it's just me & my dad, there are certain things that are 'OK' to share, talk about, joke about, etc. However, in the presence of my mother or at least one of my (three) sisters, Dad tends to stifle his own comments & behavior, and somewhat expects others nearby to do the same. I think it's just a natural, protective thing for him to do, in the presence of others who might (in his perception) be a little more sensitive or intimidated by certain things.

This doesn't necessarily have to be a negative thing. I've become very aware of, and sympathetic to, the perceptions that my family members may have about certain things (like knives). I tend to look at it as 'practice' for being a responsible knife enthusiast, when dealing with the rest of the world. It's a good thing to be aware of, and accept the fact, that other people have different views about things than I do. It doesn't really matter who's right/wrong in the matter. But, as long as you continue to be responsible about it, I think most rational people will eventually come around to accepting it. In the long run, it's your (responsible) behavior that will make the difference.
 
I think Harayasu hit the nail on the head. A person's upbringing has a lot to do with how they perceive things in the world and knives are no exception. I grew up with one set of grandparents who owned farmland and the other with a house on a lake. To me, walking out of the house without a knife in my pocket is like walking out without any pants on (which might explain why I don't have a knife!)

Someone who had grown up in a family that lived in a big city that didn't do much outdoorsy stuff may have a completely different perception of knives. These days, it's not unreasonable to assume that the only experience a kid might have with knives are seeing their parents in the kitchen, the obligatory five-o'clock stabbing story on every other night's news broadcast and stabbing people with them in online games. It's no wonder some people see knives purely as weapons...
 
Obsessed with Edges said:
This makes sense to me. There's a similar dynamic within my own family. If it's just me & my dad, there are certain things that are 'OK' to share, talk about, joke about, etc. However, in the presence of my mother or at least one of my (three) sisters, Dad tends to stifle his own comments & behavior, and somewhat expects others nearby to do the same. I think it's just a natural, protective thing for him to do, in the presence of others who might (in his perception) be a little more sensitive or intimidated by certain things.

This doesn't necessarily have to be a negative thing. I've become very aware of, and sympathetic to, the perceptions that my family members may have about certain things (like knives). I tend to look at it as 'practice' for being a responsible knife enthusiast, when dealing with the rest of the world. It's a good thing to be aware of, and accept the fact, that other people have different views about things than I do. It doesn't really matter who's right/wrong in the matter. But, as long as you continue to be responsible about it, I think most rational people will eventually come around to accepting it. In the long run, it's your (responsible) behavior that will make the difference.
Click to expand...

Yep, sometimes we just have to go with the flow instead of against the grain. I learned that a long time ago and it's kept me out of some trouble and conflicts over the years. So even though I always carry a knife very few people know I have one on me and that's the way I like it.
 
I used to get alot of guff from my family, but over time it lessened and finally quit. Now they always holler if they need to open something, and they always come to me.

One thing that might help is to get a knife for one of your family members. Maybe for mom something with a nail file in it, or for dad an older traditional pocket knife.

Or you could carry a much bigger knife, then after awhile scale it back down.
 
I have the opposite reaction concerning this. Everyone looks to me to release contents from their packaging, especially during a child's birthday party or my in-law's Christmas Eve gift exchange party.
Of all the kids only the 3 youngest are girls (aged 3-7), and they receive no less than 10 gifts each. These days Mattel secures their Barbies with so much string and plastic crud that the fastest way to release them is cut-away all the crap off the back of the display board. Considering 2 of those young girls are mine, I have become quite adept at doing this.

I am sorry to hear that your family hasn't realized the usefulness of knife in the hands of someone who knows it's capabilities, but maybe they will come around when your nieces and nephews need the toys released quickly.
 
Those same family members that ridicule you will be the ones that ask you to cut something or borrow your knife when they need one since they know you carry. When that time comes tell them to get their own.
 
I pulled out my 9" swing guard auto to open one of my sons presents at his birthday party. I got a couple double takes and strange looks.
 
I can empathize with your situation, my upbringing was also devoid of any exposure to guns or hunting. I have been into knives since I was a wee lad, so that never really was an issue.

Guns, on the other hand, everyone was completely afraid of. I have slowly acclimated them to the presence of guns over the last 4 years or so(26 now) and they have become much more rational. They expect me to be armed and carrying a knife these days.

However, you are old enough to be able to make your own decisions. As long as a knife is not illegal to carry in your area, there is no reason not to.

It may help to sit down and discuss it with them. I sat down with my dad and showed him a pistol, how to safety check, how it works, etc. and it seemed to put him at ease to know that there wasn't a bomb waiting to go off in my waistband. Sometimes they just don't know any better.
 
I havent experienced this first hand so I'm trying to take a step back and look at both sides of this. Even in doing that I can't see my own family seeing it as a negative thing, I know when I was real young and started taking a interest they seemed somewhat put off by it and my dad even told me I don't need to be sharpening my knife that often!

One event I do recall though was with my girlfriends family, they were building a new house in the middle of a few acre lot. I knew he was out cutting the 1km long driveway every weekend and eventually the spot for the house, so i'd show up with my chain saw and give a lending hand every chance I got. I remember one day we are a few hours into cutting and somewhere along the line I pulled out a knife, I think it was a buck110 to cut something and he see's me doing it, stops what he's doing, and makes a comment about me coming armed? Wasnt sure how to take that? I'm out in the middle of the woods cuttin tree's on my time off helping that guy and he takes a shot at me for having a folding knife in my pocket? werent we both just using chainsaws seconds earlier? - not sure where i just went on this but, he looked a knife as a bad thing in such a scenario? some people just wont get it, don't let that stop you from carrying a knife.
 
kingsqueak said:
How do they even know you have it?

My family never comments on any knife I have because they don't know I have it...unless someone is asking for a knife.

Over the years they pretty much know I have a knife in my pocket and just ask me if they need one, but it's never been a topic of any conversation.

I find it odd that a knife in your pocket draws so much attention.
Click to expand...

It only happens when someone is running around trying to find scissors for some odd task. I watched one family member walk around for at least 15 minutes trying to find something to open up a box.

Family gatherings tend to be really hectic. I don't usually get comments unless someone notices the pocket clip (I see you brought your knife again!) or I offer to help them with something.

Thanks for the responses, I am glad I am not alone on this. My girlfriend never understood why I carry one until she needed one. She now has a Kershaw Chive with her at all times, and uses it quite a bit.
 
Sonny Barger said something along the lines of "family is the people you choose to keep around you" and you'll start realizing the truth of that statement soon enough.

As for me, my mother knows I carry 2 knives everywhere. She also knows how much I have invested in my EDC and that puts her at ease. She used to confiscate em before I was 18. My grandfather(RIP) always carried Buck's smallest 2 blade folder but looked at a custom DDR with scorn saying it was too much ($900) and was purely a weapon. The inlaws are more in touch with the 2nd amendment. The wife's dad usually asks to play around with one. The wife owns 5 knives.
 
Meh...My family gatherings you normally try and keep knives hidden.....If they ever get out, they have to be passed around to everyone to check and see if they will shave. If they are folders they also have to be compared to their knives to see if they open faster....... Oh and then there's always the one uncle that says, "That's a nice knife, but check out this new gun." Thats when the whole process starts back up with guns.

Did i mention I love my family?
 
Howdy, Neighbor! I get it more for my guns than my knives, but here are my top 10 replies (not necessarily in any particular order):

(1) I'd rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.

(2) Assault is a behavior, not a device!

(3) An armed man is a citizen; an unarmed man is a subject.

(4) Free men don't ask permission to bear arms.

(5) A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.

(6) What part of "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?

(7) I'm a licensed professional -- trust me!

(8) How are we related?

(9) If I wanted to kill you, I'd use my hands so I could feeel the life being squeezed out of you.

(10) Idiot.
 
My favorite is to put the knife down in front of said family member, look them in the eyes and say "Tell me when it does something dangerous."

When asked by a few family members what I wanted for Christmas, I said that i wanted to get a .22 rifle. I made 3 people very angry, very quickly. My aunt claimed that it would be illegal for me to shoot it because it would be in my father's name (need to be 21 to own a rifle in NJ, I'm not 21), and my grandmother claimed that it would be illegal to shoot it because I'm not 18 yet.

I feel your pain about ignorance in the family...
 
Last edited:
link2derek said:
Howdy, Neighbor! I get it more for my guns than my knives, but here are my top 10 replies (not necessarily in any particular order):

(1) I'd rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.

(2) Assault is a behavior, not a device!

(3) An armed man is a citizen; an unarmed man is a subject.

(4) Free men don't ask permission to bear arms.

(5) A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.

(6) What part of "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?

(7) I'm a licensed professional -- trust me!

(8) How are we related?

(9) If I wanted to kill you, I'd use my hands so I could feeel the life being squeezed out of you.

(10) Idiot.
Click to expand...

That just made my day, thank you :thumbup:
 
First, I would make sure it's legal to carry. Then, next time they freak out over it, you can pick up the phone, offer to call the cops and have everything settled in court. Familial stupidity is something I want to cure no matter what the cost, because you have to put up with being around these people whether you like it or not(for the most part).
 
Noctis3880 said:
First, I would make sure it's legal to carry. Then, next time they freak out over it, you can pick up the phone, offer to call the cops and have everything settled in court. Familial stupidity is something I want to cure no matter what the cost, because you have to put up with being around these people whether you like it or not(for the most part).
Click to expand...

It is legal for me to carry for my uses. I am good friends with an LEO that works for the county. I have had several conversations about knives with him and I have mentioned this to the family members who seem to have problems with me having one - no difference.

Its going to come down to either me not having one on me, or them just learning to shut up. The sad part is no-one has pulled me aside and asked politely, or even asked at all - just stupid comments.

Even more interesting, my girlfriends family seems to send me emails every other day about knife related events in the area - the latest about a guy who reproduces Scagel knives.

Funny how that worked out :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top