Kumbaya Compliments versus Unvarnished Opinions

What do you prefer?

  • Kumbaya Compliments

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Unvarnished Opinions

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    0
  • Poll closed .
I voted for the unvarnished opinion because it was the better of the two choices. I don't think that most people welcome unsolicited advice on how to improve whatever it is they are doing. I try not to offer opinions unless asked and even then I want to be sure that he knows what I think he is asking for before I tell him my opinion.

To me the attitude has to be right in both parties. Unsolicited criticism is seldom seen as constructive, but if someone I respect says "you know how you could make this knife better?" I'm going to listen to what he has to say. And I hope that he will be willing to discuss it afterwards.
 
HTMD said:
I wonder if the wording is an issue. What 'real man' would vote for anything containing the work Kumbaya? However, if one reads the posts here and in the related "What's the Point?" thread, things seem a bit more evenly balanced.
Click to expand...

I think I agree with what Buddy is trying to say again.

This is like a choice between "meaningless flattery" and "honesty".
 
No artist should need, or invite, "meaningless flattery",... or "insults". "Honesty" is a prerequisite to a serious critique...

... and it's not always that easy to be honest...
 
The dual dynamic of criticism--delivering and receiving--can go awry on either end or both, rendering criticism among flawed humans a conundrum at best and a minefield at worst. Focus and maligning are usually on the one delivering the critique for several reasons but chiefly because of the perception that he is trespassing behind a fence he does not belong. In my former (retired) profession (science) there are no fences, and rigorous criticism was a tenant or sacrament of the scientific method. Early on it was obvious that I had better find a backbone behind my paper-thin hide if I was to play hardball with sharp minds given to dissecting you with $100 words and feeding the pieces to lab rats.

Success comes in 2 ways: 1. Accept all (even from the bottom feeders) criticism then dispassionately sift the bilge from the rubies because the latter will improved your science and manhood. 2. Harken back to that ancient childhood "sticks and stones" proverb. No forum critique is a physical assault, only words. Words can only disparage or break hearts if one allows them to do so. I grant no one the power to bruise or inflate me with words.

Receiving criticism is not genetic; it must be learned. I believe that more often the measure of a man can be found in the how he receives criticism than how he delivers it. A wolf who plans to savage you has time to parse his words and deceive you with lambskins. The unskilled critique-ee mostly turns to knee-jerk defense, and the inglorious lows where this may fall can be truly shocking and regrettable. One thing is certain, life for those unable to receive criticism will not be a box of chocolates.

The number of respondents voting against kumbaya is shockingly high to me, but I suspect that this is probably biased by silence from those opposed to unsolicited review in the same way a man will not post a knife photo with the proviso that only high-praise comments will be condoned even though that is secretly his wish.

Ken
 
Mr. Williams, my thoughts exactly! Thank God, I didn't have to try and put it into words OTHER people would understand.


It is not the criticism nor the unvarnished truth that can be so devastating, but often the motivation and DELIVERY. I am a Foster parent, and I employ brutal, unvarnished honesty with my kids who face life devasting issues.....but I ALWAYS deliver my honesty with tact, kindness and I ALWAYS leave them with the encouragement that they have the power to change their destinies. If you can not find a way to edify the person, or their craft then the point of your critique is just to tear them down and elevate yourself and your own sense of self importance.

BTW, Todd listens to what IS NOT being said as much as what IS being said.
 
Tanya, I think if everyone made their comments based on how they would want someone else to comment on something of theirs, forums would be a lot less scary place for makers to hang out.
 
ptgdvc said:
I would say you are exactly correct, that is the choice.

I was hoping for a unanimous vote. ;)

P
Click to expand...

Indeed. It would be edifying if the 5 (at present count) who voted for "kumbaya compliments" would explain their preference.

Roger
 
sheathmaker said:
The two choices available in the poll kind of remind me of "Have you stopped beating your wife" answer Yes or No.
Click to expand...
This poll is meaningless to me for the reasons above, and as Buddy allowed, the question is loaded. I didn't vote. Sorry!

Coop
 
I chose not to vote as well, and my reason was stated maybe not too clearly in my post number 7. Coop understood it though. I did get some insight into the characters of many of the forum members. Ken Williams, Buddy, Coop and others said things with which I am mostly in agreement. My post count is relatively low, but this does not mean I am void of opinions on these subjects. What it does mean is that I won't walk into an area clearly marked "MINE FIELD".

I would be very surprised if any agreement is reached as a result of this thread, but I can envision it going on ad infinitum.

Paul
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top