Hey guys, Mono again. This is going to be a short transmission. Got a communication from a certain someone wanting to stay in the dark that he got a picture transmission from our brother Rob in Australia. As it was described to me, since I can't get pics. on this super military radio with the powerful transmitter, (can't have everything, I guess) the picture on that massive island seems bleak, barren, except for some black birds; and the heavens themselves seem to be crying white stars. The giant walkers seem to be gone. Good news though, brother Rob is still alive. Must be if he's transmitting. Though the troubling thing according to the dark man is that no verbal communication was made. Let's hope Rob isn't injured.
As for Cookie, brother I'm worried about you. I'm used to being alone. It's sometimes easy for me to forget that others aren't used to it. It's not just food, water, shelter, and fire that we need to survive. I hate admitting it, but we need other people too. At least trustworthy people. Being alone out there for long periods of time.... it really screws with your mind. Kate was out there too long. You know what happened to her. I tried to help her, I really did. Genuinely put in my best effort. But it wasn't good enough. That bothers me. Every time I pick up that little Charter Arms she used to carry.... I'm reminded of her. Reminded of how I failed. Just recently, I saved the whole community from a massive infection that would have originated from the inside. Thanks to a bit of help from Carl, and a whole lotta help from the One far above.
Yet to this day, even though I see Amy, and Jordan, and Sara, and little Bradford all smiling at me when I close my eyes.... I still see Kate. Pleading with me with those eyes, those sad eyes.... like they're asking me why I couldn't save her. Why I was able to save everyone, even the ones who avoid me like the plague, but not her. I was supposed to save her; but I didn't. And I know she was too far gone. I know it. That's the part of me that says I couldn't do anything about it. No matter how good I was. Even if I was somehow better than I am. A smarter man, a better man. The best man in the world. Even then it wouldn't have helped. I know that. That's the part of me that said, "Trade your shotgun for a long-distance weapon. You already have a revolver for up close and personal." And again, that part of me was right.
But sometimes I close my eyes, and I see her standing in front of me with those sad eyes. Just standing there.... and I think that any minute she's going to get attacked and have chunks of her body torn off by the Rab or Rabs that got her. But that doesn't happen.... She just stands there. LOOKING AT ME! And she moves her lips.... and even though no sound comes out of her mouth, I know what she's saying as she keeps looking at me with those sad eyes.... Ever so gently she says, "You were supposed to save me."
And I can't get it out of my head. I bury them, and I wonder if the rest of them are at peace. Carlos, Chris.... And I can't remember the names of the rest right now. Just drawing a blank for some reason. I want to say the pregnant girl, but we never buried her. There wasn't anything left to bury. Can't bury a puddle of blood that's been absorbed into the dirt. I mean, we didn't try. But you can't bury that. You just can't....
Cookie, I hope you're up there.... 200,000 above this giant rock that must look very small to you now. But part of me, the same part that said, "You couldn't help her." And, "Trade that Mossberg for the Ruger." That's the part that thinks you're still in that missile silo. And that Skittles is still much smaller than he looks. We're still here, brother. No death ray.... No merciful aliens putting us all out of our misery....
Guess this transmission wasn't as short as I had planned.
By the way, things are now critical at the fort. Moe is in a cage. Guarded. Those who oppose Joshua are using what he did as a political ploy. It's a raging inferno, though figuratively. And more than a few of them want to step right up and toss leaking barrels of gasoline and dynamite onto that inferno. They're so full of it. Just a major ploy. Joshua is being pressured to have him killed for the crime of murder. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. My gut, for some odd reason, is saying I need to be at the fort. Okay, I loaded up all the magazines for my Ruger. Aaron, the skilled leather worker already made the sling for my rifle. He also made something else for me.... Let's see if I have to use it. Will check in when I can.
As for Cookie, brother I'm worried about you. I'm used to being alone. It's sometimes easy for me to forget that others aren't used to it. It's not just food, water, shelter, and fire that we need to survive. I hate admitting it, but we need other people too. At least trustworthy people. Being alone out there for long periods of time.... it really screws with your mind. Kate was out there too long. You know what happened to her. I tried to help her, I really did. Genuinely put in my best effort. But it wasn't good enough. That bothers me. Every time I pick up that little Charter Arms she used to carry.... I'm reminded of her. Reminded of how I failed. Just recently, I saved the whole community from a massive infection that would have originated from the inside. Thanks to a bit of help from Carl, and a whole lotta help from the One far above.
Yet to this day, even though I see Amy, and Jordan, and Sara, and little Bradford all smiling at me when I close my eyes.... I still see Kate. Pleading with me with those eyes, those sad eyes.... like they're asking me why I couldn't save her. Why I was able to save everyone, even the ones who avoid me like the plague, but not her. I was supposed to save her; but I didn't. And I know she was too far gone. I know it. That's the part of me that says I couldn't do anything about it. No matter how good I was. Even if I was somehow better than I am. A smarter man, a better man. The best man in the world. Even then it wouldn't have helped. I know that. That's the part of me that said, "Trade your shotgun for a long-distance weapon. You already have a revolver for up close and personal." And again, that part of me was right.
But sometimes I close my eyes, and I see her standing in front of me with those sad eyes. Just standing there.... and I think that any minute she's going to get attacked and have chunks of her body torn off by the Rab or Rabs that got her. But that doesn't happen.... She just stands there. LOOKING AT ME! And she moves her lips.... and even though no sound comes out of her mouth, I know what she's saying as she keeps looking at me with those sad eyes.... Ever so gently she says, "You were supposed to save me."
And I can't get it out of my head. I bury them, and I wonder if the rest of them are at peace. Carlos, Chris.... And I can't remember the names of the rest right now. Just drawing a blank for some reason. I want to say the pregnant girl, but we never buried her. There wasn't anything left to bury. Can't bury a puddle of blood that's been absorbed into the dirt. I mean, we didn't try. But you can't bury that. You just can't....
Cookie, I hope you're up there.... 200,000 above this giant rock that must look very small to you now. But part of me, the same part that said, "You couldn't help her." And, "Trade that Mossberg for the Ruger." That's the part that thinks you're still in that missile silo. And that Skittles is still much smaller than he looks. We're still here, brother. No death ray.... No merciful aliens putting us all out of our misery....
Guess this transmission wasn't as short as I had planned.
By the way, things are now critical at the fort. Moe is in a cage. Guarded. Those who oppose Joshua are using what he did as a political ploy. It's a raging inferno, though figuratively. And more than a few of them want to step right up and toss leaking barrels of gasoline and dynamite onto that inferno. They're so full of it. Just a major ploy. Joshua is being pressured to have him killed for the crime of murder. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. My gut, for some odd reason, is saying I need to be at the fort. Okay, I loaded up all the magazines for my Ruger. Aaron, the skilled leather worker already made the sling for my rifle. He also made something else for me.... Let's see if I have to use it. Will check in when I can.
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